annoy

67 ways to annoy the hell out of people.

1. In the memo feild on all your checks write "for sensual masaage."
2. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
3. Lean morse code, and hae conversations with all your friends out in public going "Beeeeep Bip Bip Beeeeeep Bip...."
4. If you have a glass eyes, tap on it occasionally with a pen wile talking to others.
5. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
6. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, exrta dark, 17 inch paper, 99 coppies.
7. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
8. Sniffle incessantly.
9. Leave you tunr signal on for 40km.
10. Reply to eerything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
11. Declare your apartment an independant nation and sue your neighbours upstairs for "violating your air space."
12. Forget the punchline to a really long joke but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
13. Hightlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
14. Invent nonsense computer jorgon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the apperance of ignorance.
15. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accrdance with prophesy."
16. wear a special hip holster for your remot control.
17. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
18. Signal that a conersation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
19. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
20. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to other you "like it that way."
21. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
22. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
23. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
24. Sew anti-thetf detector strips inot people's backpacks.
25. Write the surpise ending to a novel on its first page.
26. order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
27. Honk and wave to stranges.
28. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's "orange."
29. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
30. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental moives.
31. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat theie complimentary mints by the cash register.
32. TYPE IN UPPERCASE ONLY
33. type in lowercase only.
34. dont use any punctuation either
35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute the whole streets.
36. Pay for dinner with pennies.
37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
39. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
40. Repeat the following conersation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind it's gone now."
41. Wander around a restaurant, asking other dines for their parsley.
42. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
43. As must as possible, skip rather then walk.
44. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as the read.
45. Pretend your computer mouse is a CB radio and talk to it.
46. Try playing William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no wait, I messed it up," and repeat,
47. As people what gender they are.
48. Lick the filling out of the Oreos and place the cookig parts back in the tray.
49. Hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains suck as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar, Sugar," or Mr. Rogers theme song.
50. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
51. Lie about obviously trivial things such as the time of day.
52. Change your name to "John Aaaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book, claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a".
53. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer as passing cars to see if they slow down.
54. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
55. Wear a LOT of cologne.
56 Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental" processing." (Note: this can only be done if you still own a turntable!)
57. Sing along at the opera.
58. Mow your lawn with scissors.
59. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-shu WING-batter!"
60. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
61. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
62. Stare at static on the TV and claim you see a "magic picture."
63. Never make eye contact.
64. Never break eye contact.
65. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
66. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
67. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.