| "Did they catch them? The murderers?" A snort. "In Berlin in 1991? No...maybe that's why I have a...low expectation of humanity? No, more like a sense of Justice. Humans do do some disgusting things to each other. And they need to be caught. And Justice served." I smiled, glad the tremors were gone. "In my line of work, you never are surprised what human beings do to each other." "I couldn't do your job..." Natasha said thoughtfully and I nodded. "I'm glad." "Why?" Grissom continued to smile. "You'd lose the thing that makes you, you," I answered. "You have to almost...almost lose a part of yourself to be a good CSI or coroner." She looked up at me with those dark brown eyes, questioning. 'Gil, have you ever felt so naked?' I thought to myself. "Did you lose part of you?" I knew my expression was almost sad. "I don't think I ever had it...other people, like Catherine are able to be great mothers and are CSI but everyone pays a price," I considered. "What do you mean?" "Cathrine Willows, I've worked with her for years. Like I said, she's a mother, daughter, 7. Divorced. Her job puts babysitters on speed dial on her cell phone. Warrick Brown, the young man that was with me the day I met you, has an addiction to gambling that puts his job at risk 24/7. Nick Stokes, the youngest CSI, lost a lover and had to see her in the morgue as he was forced not to work on the case. Doctor Robbinson has seen so much I wonder how he sleeps at night; he's our coroner. Detective Brass, who you also met with Warrick, has a daughter with a drug habit and a broken marriage. Sara Sidle...has no life outside of CSI, it's absorbed her which isn't a bad thing if you want a hard worker..." "What did you lose?" 'Simple question. Hard answer.' "Trust," I decided finally. "Trust?" I could tell she was confused and I stretched. "Trust in what?" "People. Everyday, I saw people end their lives in the name of love or the lives of the ones they are supposed to love. And because of that, I had to hide behind latex gloves and never touch anyone because someone could do that to me too. I could be brought to my knees because I trusted...because I..." "Loved," Natasha finished in a whisper and I nodded. "I used my job as that barrier. Kept them on one side and me on the other." Her eyes never left mine. "That's a very lonely life..." she reasoned outloud and I took her hand. "Not so lonely anymore. Want to finish dinner?" A flash of a smile. 'Her smile reaches every part of her face and my heart,' I realized and she kissed me, lips painfully soft. "Only if I get something comfortable to wear that's yours," she barganed and I nodded, throwing back the covers and standing, walking to my closet. I was still naked and I turned to see her eyes intent on my body, pinning me with a look. "See something you like?" I offered over one shoulder as I turned around a grabbed a black buttoned down shirt from my closet. "I see alot of what I like," she rumbled and I laughed, tossing her the shirt. "Down, tiger. 'An army marches on it's stomach'," I said as she shrugged it on. "Napolean, and I guess. And there's worse pet names than 'tiger'," Natasha smirked, buttoning the bottom two buttons and nothing else. "Those French soldiers were *pretty* lonely after all..." I couldn't help it. I laughed a good belly laugh and picked my boxers off the floor, tugging them on. "You're addicted already?" I asked and she gave me a sheepish look. "There are worse activities..." Grissom stalked to the bed, the promise of sex in his eyes. "Yes..." he said in a low voice, hand running up her thigh before suddenly stopping. "Like...not eating. C'mon." Natasha had closed her eyes and had started to lean back on the bed when I finished my sentence. Growling, she sprung from the bed and drug me back down, lust and...desire flashing in her eyes. "You play with fire..." she said smirking to match my own. "You'll get burnt." "Burn me later...and make it a promise," I asked, feeling my body react. I nipped her bottom lip and she hissed. "Count on it." Back to CSI fanfiction |