We should be friends: Will you go to bed with me?
I love you: Let's have sex.
I'm not depressed, I'm just a bit lonely: I need sex.
Our relationship is not communicative enough: We should have sex more often.
Sorry, I think you and I are better off as friends, so I think we should stop being a couple: I got a new girl with bigger tits than you- but I won't discard you: you've got a beautiful behind.
Sorry, I think you and I wouldn't make a good couple: You're ugly / the size of your tits isn't good enough for me.
Do you believe in love?: I'm just checking whether if I use you you'll run after me for the next 10 years because I'm the 'one'....
You'd look better in blonde and with this mini skirt: Become Pamela Anderson and I'll love you even more.
You should start looking for a boyfriend: I suspect you are a lesbian, am I right?
I'll phone you: Phone me
Do you like that guy?: Do I look worse than that guy?!
I'm just looking for some fun: Fuck or Leave
I've got a girlfriend: Don't touch me!!!
I've got a girlfriend but... bla bla bla: Touch me!!!
EXCEPTION: Before interpreting, check whether subject is wearing pink, purple or rainbowstripes anywhere. If he IS, most sayings should mean what is actually said.