Today was windy. Trees were uprooted. AHH! Power outages. AHH! And onwards.
Well, I just really wanted to comment on that, but it's not really the 14th. Its the 15th. Whatever.
As you can see, I'm really in a great mood. Wanna know why? Read my strange thought of the day, even though I've been thinking it on and off for awhile.
Strange thought of the day: Have you ever been afraid of what you think? I mean, have you ever thought something, and it happened? Or felt something without knowing why and finding out later? For example, there was this one weekend a year ago in May. I thought of this girl I used to know from elementary school. Not the nicest, I considered her sort of a "snob." She was my friend for a period of time though. Well, I thought of her around lunch on Friday, so I told my friends how much I used to dislike her, etc. And over the weekend, I still thought about her some, and I cried when I did for no reason. Guess what happened when I got to school on Monday? In French class, another girl I knew from the same school asked me about the other girl I had been thinking about. (Confusing terms, hey?) Well, of course I didn't know anything since we'd been out of touch since Gr. 7. So the girl from my French class tells me...that she had hung herself sometime that week and the funeral and service had been over the weekend. That floored me. I felt really bad, speaking ill of the dead and everything. But, I went to school with her. She was a Christian! What went wrong? I knew her. How could she be dead? And it was the strangest "coincidence" in the world. It's not like I'm psychic or anything. Hardly! Tons of other people died and I never felt anything. Guessing Jolly Ranchers before opening them, guessing who'll win the World Cup games...small potatoes and just good guesses. But still...it's scary. And sometimes now, I'm just afraid to think of anyone in particular when I'm in a sad mood. Not just think of, but actually mull over stuff about them. I know it's stupid. And it was a one in a million thing, but it was still scary. I don't want it to ever happen again.
So anyway. Remember that question that used to be floating around in church one year? About if you committed suicide if you'd go to heaven? Well, I wanna know too.
Know what? I was never going to tell anyone that. Maybe cryptic hints because I'm so great with those. But since no one reads this, I guess it's okay.
"Buffy. How...is it you? I mean, really? What are you...? No! Don't! Don't jump, Buffy! Don't move! Just...walk to me. Please?" |
