Brianna & Terrence

Sophomore Year

7. “Weed is Bad”

I can't exactly explain how I got into selling pot.  I guess it all started with Stephanie's older brother, Jeremy.  She and I started hanging out with him more often as we were only sophomores and he was a super cool senior.  When he went to others' houses and came back with tons of money, it didn't really phase me that much, because I didn't really see anything wrong with it.  It wasn't until one day at school that I made a deal with someone.

“Man, I need some weed for 4/20,” my friend, Angela, said, sighing and pulling her knees to her chest as she sat against the wall.

“I can get you the hook up,” I said, not really thinking of anything.

She sat up.  “Really?  Can you?  I just need a dime bag.”

I shrugged and talked to Jeremy that evening.  After being laughed at for a few minutes, he finally agreed.  A few days later, Angela came again to me to get “the hook up” again.  I went to Jeremy again and that's when he suggested that I become a dealer like he was.  It was easy money apparently, something that I didn't make at my job at the pizza place.  I decided to take him up on his offer.  He gave me the number of his supplier and I talked with each of them and finally got myself set to where I was making as much money as Jeremy himself.

Of course, I was stupid.  Not ignorant.  I knew what I was doing was clearly illegal and bringing it to school was grounds for expulsion, but I didn't think of it at the time.  I guess I had other things on my mind.  Or, I was stupid, like I said.

It came as a surprise to me one day when another friend of mine, Mark, came up to me and told me that his cousin asked about me.  Apparently, Mark had told him that he bought some and his cousin asked from whom he bought it, and he let my name kind of slip.  But his cousin was a good guy and would probably just come to me to buy some.  I hoped that was the case.

It wasn't.

The next day a short boy with brown hair that covered his eyes came up to me.  “Hi, Brianna?” he said.

I nodded slowly.

“You got tickets to that concert this weekend?”

“Huh?” I said, then remembered the phrase for the kids I didn't know.  “Oh!” I said.  “Yeah, but they're at home.  How many do you want?”

“Just one,” he said, smirking a bit.  I could tell that he was a freshman, and I really hated selling to anyone younger than me cause I knew all the effects that marijuana had on your body, I took health and I did really well in it, but money was money and I knew I had to sell the last of the bags I had in order to make a decent profit.

“Sounds fine to me.  Where can you meet me?”

“Can you just bring it to school?  I don't have a car so I can't meet you anywhere.”

I nodded.  “Okay.  Tomorrow before school then, 7:30?”

He nodded back.

“At the flagpole,” I said and he nodded once more then I shook his hand and he walked off.

“Brianna,” Stephanie said in an admonishing tone, “you should be careful who you sale to.  They might be telling someone.”

I just grinned.  “He's only a freshman...”

“Exactly, probably a goody-goody freshman..”

“Brianna can handle herself, can't you Bri?” Jeremy said, patting me on the head.

I glared at him a bit.  “Yeah, it'll be fine.  Besides, it's at 7:30 and I won't have it on me during school, just a few minutes before.”

Steph shrugged and Jeremy just grinned and ruffled my hair.  “Do be careful, though,” he said.  “You still have that gun I gave ya?”

I smiled.  “Under the seat in my car.”

“Good girl.”

The next morning I was at the school a few minutes before 7:30, nervous anticipation filling my body.  I had tons of “what if” questions running through my mind.  “What if a teacher sees?  What if he really is just trying to get me in trouble?”  My body shook as I headed towards the flagpole, and finally I made it there, trying not to look too suspicious.  In a matter of minutes the young boy met up with me, grinning from under his moptop haircut.  I led him away from the plain view of the flagpole towards the back of the school, where the T-buildings stood in a huddle. 

“Where's the money?” I muttered under my breath, hoping that no one heard me.

The freshman didn't take the hint.  “I have it in my pocket!” he stated loudly.  “I want my TICKET first.”

I glared at him.  “Well you're not getting your ticket until I get my money, and I'm not taking it out of my pocket until you quiet down a little bit.”

“Why be quiet when I have nothing to hide!” he yelled.  “Do you want a deal or not?”

I scowled.  “You punk-headed freshman,” I murmured, digging into my pocket.  “You better show me some money before I take this shit out.”

He rolled his eyes at me and dug in his back pocket, exposing a brown leather wallet.  He opened it and I saw the gleam of two ten dollar bills and about three twenties.  This kid must've been rich!  “I wanna see some weed before I hand it over,” he whispered, finally taking the hint, because he knew he'd be in as much trouble as me. 

The next events happened in slow motion.  I grabbed the tip of the small bag between my thumb and forefinger and tugged at it while he watched me.  The leaves rustled in the distance, it was towards the end of winter and they were all beginning to grow back.  The zip-lock part of the bag peeked out of my pocket and finally, the entire thing was exposed.  The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by about ten officers and everything was in normal speed again.

“POLICE!” one screamed.  “FREEZE!”

I felt the gun being pointed at me and I saw the freshman smirk.  That was when I realized that this was one big setup.  I dropped the bag onto the ground and raised my hands high above my head, wanting to cry for being so utterly stupid as to bring marijuana to school.

“Brianna Carter,” one officer said, stepping towards me, “you are under arrest for possession of controlled substances.  You have the right to remain silent...”  He made his speech while the world spun around me, causing me to become dizzier and dizzier as my heart thumped louder and louder.  I became lightheaded, only aware of my heart pounding loudly, wondering if everyone else could hear it, too.  “Brianna, move towards the wall,” he said, sounding agitated as if he had already told me once.

“I'm sorry...” I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek.  He put a hand on my back and moved me towards the cold brick wall, placing my hands against it above my head.  I plopped my forehead against it and cried, while I felt a woman officer searching my clothing to see if I had anything else.  When she finished, my hands were handcuffed behind my back and I had nothing in my pocket, no keys, no wallet, no cellphone.  They searched my backpack, finding nothing but history notes and some pens and a book I had been reading.  Finally, I was escorted to the office by two officers, while the others went to search through my locker and my car.  My face was tear-streaked and eyes glossy from so much crying, being so afraid of what was going to happen, so afraid of what my brother would think.  He would skin me alive then disown me forever, and then I'd have to spend the rest of my life in jail for doing something so stupid.

“So Brianna, we meet again,” the assistant principal said, looking at me dissapointedly.  He nodded to the two officers on either side of me and I felt the handcuffs loosen and finally fall off.  “Come with me,” he said, putting a hand on my back and walking me to the office while I let more tears flow out of my eyes, feeling so horrible, wishing that I would wake up from my dream in my own bed, panting and sweating at this horrible nightmare.  But this pain was real, and the hand leading me towards Mr. Vaughn's office was real.  “Have a seat,” he said sternly when we arrived.  I did as I was told, sitting myself down in a chair across from his massive desk, my right leg thumping with nervousness.  I heard the door shut behind me and jumped.

Mr. Vaughn seated himself in front of me and looked into my eyes.  “Care to explain to me what just happened?”

I looked down at the floor, not wanting to say anything.

“Your brother has been called.  He will be here shortly.”

The thought of that sent another pang to my stomach and I buried my head in my hands to keep myself from crying more.  My head already ached and I knew I looked horrible, crying would just make it worse than it already was.

“Brianna, all I know is the cop's story, I want to hear your's.”

I hated all this pressure on top of me.  I didn't have anything to tell, just that I was stupid for ever selling pot in the first place, much less ever bringing it to school.  “I'm sorry,” I muttered.  “I shouldn't have ever done it...”  I was having trouble speaking because my nose was stuffy and my head ached and I was still crying a little.  “I'm sorry...”

I heard him open his mouth to say something but we were disturbed instead by a knock on the door.  The knock made me more hysterical than ever.  My hands could no longer contain my crying and tears were spilling out from the spaces inbetween my fingers. 

“Come in,” Mr. Vaughn said after clearing his throat.

I heard the door open, crying harder and louder and then heard an almost inaudible voice.  “Mr. Vaughn, someone is here to see you.  A Mr. Carter.”

“Bring him in,” Mr. Vaughn replied.

Everything seemed so surreal.  Sure, I'd been in trouble plenty of times, sent to the office, stolen a couple of things before, even snuck out of the house.  But nothing compared to this.  Not only did I do something that was against the school rules or my brother's rules, but it was also completely illegal, and from the looks of things, everything was being searched and there was no telling what they would find.  This wasn't even grounds for suspension, but grounds for expulsion.

“Hello, Mr. Carter, good to see you.”  I heard Mr. Vaughn rise from his chair and shake my brother's hand.  “Go ahead and close the door.”

I wondered if Terrence even knew why he was here, but I knew that he could tell it wasn't that good, especially since I was throwing a fit like I was.  I heard the door close then Terrence seat himself next to me. 

“I guess you'll have to hear the story the way I heard it.  I haven't gotten much out of Brianna yet, she's really upset.”  There was a pause and Mr. Vaughn sighed.  “Seems that Brianna was caught trying to sell marijuana to a ninth grader earlier this morning.  A boy came up to the security guard yesterday and told him that Brianna was a drug dealer and had agreed to sell something to him.  The officer did not want to incriminate her without any evidence, so he arranged for three other officers to meet with him this morning to investigate.”  Funny, it seemed like there were way more than 4 people dressed in policesuits...  “This morning they followed Brianna and the boy towards the back of the school where she proceeded to take out a bag of marijuana to sell to him.  Before the sell was made the officers moved in and confiscated it.” 

There was silence in the room.  So this stupid freshman had set me up.  He and the officer both!  Thanks to both of them, I was going to spend the rest of my life in prison!

My crying had ceased a little so I could hear the story.  Terrence spoke up.  “Brianna, look at me,” he said sternly.  I couldn't bear to look in his eyes, to see how angry he was at me.  I knew, though, that it'd be worse off on me for resisting than doing as I was told.  I wiped my eyes with my hands then wiped the tears on my jeans and looked up to see both of them staring at me.  I looked at Terrence.  “Did this happen?”

That was a dumb question.  He just wanted me to admit what I did.  “Yes,” I murmured, almost set into crying again.  I peptalked myself not to cry because that would just make it worse.

“Why.”

I shrugged.

“Don't shrug at me Young Lady!” he said loudly.

“I don't know,” I replied quickly.

“You not only sold pot, but you sold it at school???  Do you realize how illegal that is?”

“Yes,” I murmured, wanting to crawl into a hole by myself... 

Terrence looked back at Mr. Vaughn, urging him to continue with what else would happen.

“Well,” Mr. Vaughn began, “Brianna is a bright girl, she's not by any means a troublemaker, and I hate to see her go like this.”

I blinked.  Go?  Where was I going?

Terrence nodded.

“I guess you're aware that any type of possession of tobacco, alcohol, firearms, weapons, or drugs is immediate expulsion?”

I blinked again. This can't be happening.  I mean, I knew that it was grounds for expulsion, but I figured that somehow I could get out of it...

Terrence glared at me then nodded.

“I have no other choice then...” he began but we were interrupted by a knock at the door.  “Come in,” Mr. Vaughn said.

The door swung open and there stood two uniformed men.  “Sorry to intrude,” one said, “but Mr. Vaughn, we have found an interesting piece of evidence in the defendant's car.”

Oh shit... 

He held up a ziplock bag with the contents of a single handgun.  I felt everyone's gasp and immediately went back to burying my face in my hands.  I felt Terrence's eyes on me.

“Brianna Nicole Carter!” he yelled.  My face burned with embarassment.  “Is that yours?”

I nodded slowly and felt him groan exasperatedly and slam his fist against the wooden arm on the chair.

“This was the only thing we found,” the officer continued.  “Her locker was clean and no traces of marijuana were found in her car.”  There was a bit of muttering going on around me, but I tried my hardest to concentrate on other things, like my happy place, where there were unicorns and rainbows and dogs and it was always sunny and there was no such thing as committing crimes. 

I finally heard the men leave and Mr. Vaughn cleared his throat.  “Brianna, you are a good student, and I'm sure where ever you go, you will suceed.”  I had to look up at him because I felt really rude not doing so while he spoke.  “I hope that you are able to put this incident behind you and it won't follow you forever.”  I nodded.  “Your brother cares about you a lot, and so do I, and what you did today hurt him a lot, and I think you owe him more of an apology than me.”  I nodded again and looked at my angry brother that sat next to me, on the edge of his seat, probably just waiting to get me home so he could deal with me.  “I honestly believe that you know what you did was wrong, and I'm sure your brother realizes it, too.  You're a great kid, and I didn't expect to see you slip into the wrong crowd like you did, because I know with your brains, you would have never thought of selling drugs.”  I looked at him for a moment.  “If you tell us who your accomplices were, then you will probably get off easier..”  I jumped up there.  This whole spill about me being a good student was to get me to get other people in trouble.  Bullshit!

“No!” I yelled.  “No, I'm not telling you shit.  It was my fault and nobody helped me and even if they did I wouldn't tell you!”  I angrily stomped towards the door, but Terrence caught me by the arm.

“Settle down, Brianna.  You are in enough trouble already so I suggest you listen to Mr. Vaughn instead of getting all angry.”

I took a deep breath in and looked at Mr. Vaughn.  He nodded slowly.  “Well, I understand I guess.  Seems like since you're in so much trouble you would at least want to get those others who are doing this to be in trouble, too.”  I said nothing, just glared angrily at him.  “Well, I'm sorry that I have to expel you, Brianna.  But it's been a great two years and I wish you the best.”  I nodded, still angry at him, but surpressing it more and more with each word he spoke.  He stood up and extended his hand towards me and I shook it then Terrence did and he opened the door for us.

It seemed like forever, sitting in Terrence's car as he talked with the policemen and filled out paperwork.  I felt like an exhibit at the zoo, where people constantly stare at you and talk about you as if you weren't really there.  I guess you don't know that feeling until you're really there.  I understood now why the turtles always hid in their shells.  I wish I had a shell to hide in right now.  I'd feel more comfortable.

The ride home was silent, probably because I was too scared to speak because I knew I'd begin crying again.  You know that knot that gets stuck in your throat and if you speak tears will come out instead of words?  That's what it was like with me.  And I guess that Terrence was too angry to talk to me.

When we pulled into the driveway he slammed the keys off and opened his door.  “Get out,” he stated.

I didn't waste any time getting out.  My heart was pounding like crazy and I knew what was coming up and I was afraid for my own bottom.  Terrence met me in front of the car and grabbed my upper arm. 

“I can't believe you sold pot, and on school grounds!”  He dragged me towards the house, then did the unexpected.  Only once had Terrence spanked me outside of the comfort of my house, and that was when he smacked my bottom at school when I had gotten in trouble for cheating.  But right now, he spanked my bottom with each step we took.  “You *SMACK!* will *SMACK!* NEVER *SMACK!* do *SMACK!* anything *SMACK!* like *SMACK!* this *SMACK!* again! *SMACK!*  Do *SMACK* you *SMACK!* understand *SMACK!* me? *SMACK!*”

“Owww, owww, owwww... Yes I understand!” I muttered, trying to step away from him, but he kept a firm grip on my upper arm.

“What were you thinking!” he said, stopping in front of the doorway and looking down into my eyes.

“I-I dunno...” 

SMACK!!!

“Owwwwww.”

“Get into that house!”

I wasted no time getting inside, practically running in.  Terrence followed shortly behind me.

I stood near the couch as he slammed the door.  “Terrence, I really am sorry...” I murmured, fresh tears beginning to flow once again.

“I know you are, but that doesn't change the fact that you did what you did.  And how long?  One week?  One month?  One year???”

I cried more.  “I'm sorry...”

“I'm so upset with you, Brianna.  I can't believe you would do such a thing.”

I looked at the floor until he moved closer and lifted my chin up with his fingers, causing me to stare into his eyes.

“Why did you do it?”

“I don't know... I just wanted the extra money... I didn't realize it was illegal..”

“You didn't realize it was illegal?  That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard, Young Lady.  You knew good and well that marijuana was illegal.”

“I know... but I didn't think...”

He glared at me.  All I could do was think about what I should have done differently, who I should have listened to.  I wished that I would have listened to Stephanie and not sold anything to someone younger than me.  I wished I would have listened to the drug ed teachers and not have even gotten involved with drugs.  I wished that I would have listened to my conscience that told me what I was doing was wrong.  I felt so stupid... so completely and utterly stupid.  I still felt like I was in a dream and I hoped I would wake up.. but I couldn't.  All I could do was stand here as Terrence stared at me with flaming eyes of disappointment, causing my stomach to churn.

He let go of my chin.  “Well, let's sum up the events of the day.  You tried to sell pot to someone, got caught, they found a gun in your car, you yelled and cussed at the assistant principal, got expelled, and arrested.  What a day.”

I wiped a tear out of my eyes as Terrence threw his arms up and paced around the room.

“You got EXPELLED, Brianna.  Do you realize what that means?”  That was a rhetorical question.  “It means that you can't go back to school for at least a year, maybe longer, unless you go to a private school or the alternative school.  What do you think about that?”  Another rhetorical question.  “AND, not only did you get expelled, you also got arrested.  THAT means that you have to go to court and I have to pay some huge fine and you might even get jail time.”  More tears kept falling from my eyes.  “What exactly did you do with all of the money that you got from dealing?”

“I saved some of it..”

“Well good... at least we'll have some money to pay off the fine we're going to get.  And why didn't you tell Mr. Vaughn who helped you out with selling that stuff?  I know you didn't grow it in the backyard and someone must've given it to you.  Doesn't it upset you that there's thousands of people out there doing this and you know some of them and YOU'RE the one getting in trouble?”

I shook my head, although he had a point.  “I can't rat out my friends..”

“Ever think that maybe one of your friends ratted you out?”

I shook my head, finally looking down at the floor.

“What you did today, Brianna, showed me how irresponsible and immature you can be.  I'm just so upset at you... I can't even think straight.  I guess it never occurred to you what would happen if you did get caught, but I guess now you're going to find out.”

I didn't want to find out.

He sat down on the couch and grabbed my wrist, pulling me over his lap.  “You're old enough to know better than this.  I realize that you're sorry,” he said, just as I was about to remind him, “but I can't let this go unpunished.”

I wanted to plead with him and beg that I was being punished enough by getting expelled and arrested, but the only thing that came out was a nod.  I felt my skirt being lifted and he rested it on my back.  I held the couch cushions tightly as he pulled my panties down to my knees.  I felt the familiar cool breeze on my bare bottom and prepared for what was to come.  I knew this would be a really long trip over Terrence's knee... probably the longest I had ever gotten...

He began quickly, spanking in rhythm, one cheek after the other, causing me to wince and jump with each smack.  They weren't unusually hard, or fast even, but just normal spanks, slapping down on my bottom, not concentrating on any certain spots.  This was definitely the warmup, seeing as all it was doing was causing me to wince and exclaim “ow” everytime he smacked.

He did that a good twenty-five times, then began spanking harder and faster, causing whines to erupt from my mouth and my legs to kick a little.  He started concentrating more on the sit spots, spanking me five times hard on each of them, then moving up to my cheeks, and finally back down to my sit spots to make sure that when I sat for the next few days I would remember the consequences of my actions.  He spanked like this for about two minutes or so, then began the, what I call, “unusually hard spanks.”  What I mean is that, in a matter of seconds, I was bobbing and bouncing all over the place, flailing my legs and screaming.  He was definitely showing off the fact that he could benchpress 200 pounds.  I tried to keep a tight grip on the couch cushion and tried to keep myself from kicking so furiously.  Well, I kept my grip, my knuckles were white from holding on so tightly, but I couldn't help but kick because it hurt so much..

Terrence stopped for a moment.  “Brianna, if you don't stop kicking so much, I'm going to have to position you where your legs are under my knee..”  He had never positioned me like that before, and the thought made me blush like crazy because I felt so young. 

I nodded, still crying but promising him that I would stop but it hurt so much.

“It's supossed to hurt,” he replied.  “You sold pot and got yourself expelled from school... You ARE thinking about that while I'm spanking you, right?”

“Yessss,” I whined, still holding onto the couch cushion for dear life and crying loudly.  My bottom was on fire, stinging and throbbing like hell...

He began the rapid “unusually hard spanks” once again and I screamed for dear life, holding tighter onto the cushion and moving uncontrollably.  I was shaking so much because it hurt so badly and I was sorry for ever doing what I had done, but I couldn't tell him because I was crying so hard.  I tried to stop kicking so much, but with all of his effort pounding down onto my bare bottom, it was harder than it seemed.  After carrying on like this for minutes, he finally stopped.  I let go of the cushion and moved my hands back to rub out the sting, but he caught them instead. 

“I'm not finished yet, Brianna.  You wouldn't think that I'd let you get off that easily...”

I whined and weeped more while he gripped my hands tightly behind my back.  Without letting me regain my composure, he lifted me up and led me to the side of the couch.  He leaned me over the couch at a position in which my feet were lifted from the ground and I had to hold myself up with my hands, so I wouldn't fall.  This was probably a good idea, because I knew what was coming up would hurt really badly, and if my hands were holding me up, then I couldn't move them back to block my spanking.

The next thing I heard was the sound of a leather belt slipping through the belt loops of Terrence's jeans.  This caused me to make a big uproar, crying and pleading at him.  “Pleaseeeee, Terrenceeeeeeee, nooooooooo!” I begged.  “I'm s-sorryyyyyyyyyy!”

“I'm sorry, too, Brianna.  But this is what happens when you break the rules.”

I watched him fold the belt over and I paced myself, breathing in deeply and listening to my heart pound.  I closed my eyes and awaited the spanks of the belt.

WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!” I screamed, wiggling my bottom to try and get the sting out, fresh tears flowing freely from my eyes.  “I'm sorryyyyy, I'm sorrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!”

He showed no mercy.  WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!” I screamed again, weeping into the cushion, no longer counting on my hands to hold me up, but rather my head, since it was buried into the couch.

He landed four more loud whacks on my already flaming bottom, two centered on my sit-spots and causing me to nearly leap up from my position.  Luckily, Terrence had his hand on my back and was making sure that I remained lying over the couch.  He paused then landed four more, then four more, and repeated that routine a few more times.  I never knew that Terrence could swing so hard.  I mean, I knew from first hand experience that when he took off his belt, he meant business, from that time I had stolen something for the second time, but I never realized that he could swing THAT hard. 

It took me a minute to realize that he had stopped, for my crying was so loud, I couldn't even hear the spanks anymore, and my bottom was throbbing so much that it was almost numb.  I stayed lying like that for a minute, hoping that it was all over.  He finally lifted me back up, making sure that he kept a firm hold on my hands so I wouldn't rub.  When I was lifted up, he let go of my hands and I wiped the tears from my eyes.  He held onto my upper arm and spanked me with his hand while I was standing upright.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!!!!

“Owwww, owww, owwwwwww, owwwwwwwwwwwww!” I moaned.

“Will you EVER be in posession of ANY illegal substances again?”  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!!

“Nooooooo!” I whined.

“And will you EVER get arrested or expelled again?”  SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!!!!!

“NOOOOOOOOO!!  I'm sorry!!!” 

“Good,” he said, still keeping a grip on me with his left arm.  He marched me over to the corner, spanking me with each step.  “You will *SMACK!* stand *SMACK!* in this *SMACK!* corner *SMACK!* until I *SMACK!* tell *SMACK!* you to *SMACK!* move *SMACK SMACK!*  Understand? *SMACK!*

I exclaimed “ow” after each smack and said, “yessss I understand owwww yesssssss!”  It hurt to walk from him spanking my sit spots, that crease inbetween my thighs and my bottom, and it stung like hell while I stood in the corner, trying not to reach behind me and rub my bottom.  I stood there for about five minutes or so and finally Terrence spoke.

“All right, Brianna, come here,” he said, this time his voice more soothing.

I turned and walked slowly towards him.  He held his arms out invitingly and I walked towards him, allowing him to pull me in for a hug.  I cried into his chest and he stroked my hair, hushing me and calming me down.  I muttered how sorry I was and he just told me that it would be okay, we would figure out a way to get me back in school, and he told me how much he loved me.  Finally he let go and looked me in the eyes.

“Brianna, I love you, you're the best sister I could ask for... I know you know how upset I am that you got yourself into so much trouble, but I'm going to try my hardest to have them let you back in school.  Is there any way that you could tell me who the people were that helped you with this?”

“It was Jeremy,” I spat out.  “Jeremy and one of his friends...”

He nodded.  “Go on and get some sleep,” he told me, kissing my forehead.

I nodded and gave him a big hug, then bent down to get my panties that had somehow ended up on the floor, probably from all of my kicking.  “Terrence, I love you...” I said, letting one final tear slip down my cheek.  “Thanks,” I whispered and tiptoed to my room, wincing with each step from the pain.  I wasn't angry at Terrence at all for spanking me... I deserved it and I was glad that he loved me enough to do what he did.  I flopped down on my bed and buried my head into my pillow, only to fall into a dreamless sleep.