08 . 15 . 02
countdown: 1 more day of work left =)
thanks for callin last nite even tho u were a couple of hundred miles away..i dont kno if u hung up on meeh or i hung up in u before i got a chance to pick up the phone..prob talkin bout it would of made meeh cry but i mananged to hold everything inside n jus slept thew the nite..i was so dead asleep i dint even hear the text message..hehe.thanks again..now that u remba dont 4get mai shell or else ..*muhaha* i hate to admit but i am a hypocrit..pplz should stop using mai own words against meeh
drama drama drama..ish an never endin cycle of gossip..soo much things happeend between the time i left work yesterdai n this morning...this guy worker was accused of hrassing one of the 13 yrs old gyrl at the center o.O there wasnt mcuh of them there jus the 5 lil gyrls in the bak swimmin..she told her friends that the guy was like rubin her thigh or something but that guy sai that he didnt do it..the gyrl onli told pplz that cuz like she wanted to get close to him but he didnt let her..i dont kno who to believe..ish kinda of hard to find witness cuz all the kids there were under 10 n they are pretty much tooh into swimmin to notice nething that happens round them ne way..they had this BIG meeting with like his parents n the representives of career partners n the supveriors there talkin bout the situatiion..earlier this lady that i was workin with in the library resigned cuz she got fed up with the kids..she didnt want to put up with them ne more n jus left..i think ish kinda stupid on her part cuz the vocbs words she made them learn alot of us cant even pronounce it..let alone spell it..psorisis, logorrhea, chihuahua <~~ wht kinda of 9-12 yrs olds can pronounce that..she jus askin tooh much from a bunch of kids that jus wanna hab fun at summer camp.notice the word camp..ish not skool..i dont kno why they want them to do work in the first place..
08 . 14 . 02
countown: 2 more day of work
i never knew that i can make pplz laugh n smile.. keep smilin dont b sad okie? but if onli i can make him smile..recap of todai..woke up at 7:30 n got to work at 8 .. i literally sat there n sorted crayons for 4 hrs straight..it was a freakin BIG box of crayons donated bai target or something like that..i think ish jus those broken boxes of crayons that they cant sell...they jus put it in one gigantic box n i hab to sorta them out..first i separated it bai the colors then bai the name..i was hella bored..it was better then vacumin the floor..everyone includin meeh didnt believe that i sorted every single one of them..there must of been at least 1000 crayons..learned some name of interesting colors todai.. eh, macronnie n cheese o.O hot dogs again for lunch...sat putside in the heat for two hours watchin the kids in the pool..i wanted to jump in n join them..it was so freakin HOT
11:45 *sigh* dont think i can hold it in ne long..imma scared the next time i wont b able to hold it in ne more..tryin so hard not to let it out..imma sorrie i cant help it but b a hypocript rite now
08 . 13 . 02
countdown: 3 more day of work
Staring blankly ahead, Just making my way
Making a way through the crowd, And I need you
And I miss you, And now I wonder
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder if you ever think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
'Cause I need you, And I miss you
And now I wonder, If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you... tonight
And I.. I , Don't wanna let you know
I.. I , Drown in your memory
I.. I ,Don't wanna let this go
I.. I ,Don't
08 . 12 . 02
countdown: 4 more day of work left
after 6 hrs of workin with the lil pplz i went to the movies with jonathan n bradley..stupid edwards with their freakin cheap sheats..hate sittin in those chairs..dont even kno y i still go there to watch movies..mayb ish cuz i cant go ne where else...those seats r so hard to sit in..tripple X was kool except that gyrl with the russian accient..it was so hard to understand her but besides that the action was good..Signs was so boring..that movie didnt make ne sense..the endin was so gettho, it didnt make ne sense..freakin jonathan kept laugin thew the scarie parts..i thought he was tooh scared n started to laugh like an idiot..i hab to admit some of the scene made meeh jump but then ive seen scarier movie..should i kill the movie for everyone..ish not like ish an movie worth watchin ne way..such a waste of time..i wanted to scare jonathan tooh..argh..next time..i think bradley got scared the most...not even half way threw the first movie i kinda felt lonely.. i couldnt stop thinkin bout him..prob cuz he was suppose to go tooh...couldnt put maiself to concentrate on the movie..i keep driftin off into mai own thoughts..i hab this strange dreamz bout him the other day..i cant remba wht ish bout rite now..but imma pretty sure him n alot of other pplz were in there..i dont kno if it was a dream or was it mai own thought cuz i kno i was onli half asleep but i was tooh tried to try to rite down everything that happeend..as soon as i was kinda awake i forgot everything..even tho i kno it jus a couple of minuets before..
- so here i am all by myself..thinkin of you nobody else..there ish a feelin inside and as hard as i try it jus wont go away..so mani feelins emotions runnin away with meeh - bbmak
08 . 11 . 02 11:34 pm
- woke up so freakin earlie this morning at 5 am to go to samuri 5k..didnt feel like i slept at all..so freakin tired..i didnt wanna wake up..think bout onli 2 hrs to sleep
- 6-9 am samuri 5k...runnner registration n drink set up
- 9-2 pm tofu fest .. i habent seen so much freakin tofu n strawberry in mai whole life..spent like 2 hrs standin in the heat cutting strawberrie.. after that i freakin smell like salmon the whole day cuz i was helpin them make "smoked salmon on soft tofu with vingerette horse raddish sauce" ..doesnt that sound applealing???
- watched some of the festival stuff..pplz *u kno who u r* were checkin out the drummers..freakin tony got a comment for everything..funnie day tho..kinda knocked over this ladys plate when i tried to take off mai tofu t-shirt n it spilled lemon snowcone juicy thing on her o.O ..krazie pplz dressed up as anime characters..there ish this anime i must watch..damn it now i gots to look for it..
- never eat at ne buffet in little tokyo..ish freakin expensive n there ish nothin to eat there..lisa n wendy made this nasty lookin mix of all the left over food..it freakin look like barf..lookin at that made meeh sick..i feel sorrie for the one that cleaned the table..yohan..ddr..frustration/speed..
08 . 11 . 02 1:43 am
wish i could ask but *sigh* i choose to remain silent
I wanna know why this feels so right
I wanna know why you hold me tight
each and everynight it keeps me up all night
thinkin about the things I like
can't believe your in my life
I wanna know why your the one
that thinks that they should
if you've already done
God sent you straight to me
you make me wanna sing
La da da da
But when you look at me
do you see your wife
can you picture us loving each other for life
are you playing the role, just like the rest
these are the questions I ask myself
if another should come who's finer then me
and she'd wanna take your love away
would you leave baby please
answer these questions
could this be my whole fantasy
maybe you could just be too good for me
if I don't wait then I won't see
cause if I'm not the one you met, then who is in me
In the mist of the tears how come
I love you more and more then one
I never longed for no one yes it's true
seems like these questions keep me, here with you
If you really wanna be with me
then i'll say I love you endlessly
one thing that I really wanna know
..will this end or will this throw us in now
If you really wanna be with me
I'll love you endlessly
one thing that I really wanna know
will this end or will this grow..
08 . 10 . 02
current mood: eh..not sure
slpet threw most of todai n the time i was awake imma jus online starin at the screen..i realli wanted to go out but there was no where to go..i was tooh sleepie in the morning when i woke up at like 1pm to get ready n go to kids field..stupid pplz kept wakin meeh up *ahem* ( stitch n diana >.< ) mai sis dropped meeh n diana off at alan's house round like 7 .. when we got there no one was home..sat infront of his house for like round an hr to hr n half jus talkin...it was kinda cold n the sun was setting..kan came n took us to the paseo..i offerd to treat them all out but ish so sad he wouldnt take it =( prob cuz he ate like a freakin cow before he got there..hehe..
on the drive there i was pretty out of it..i jus kept starin out the window until kan poke meeh n scared the heck out of meeh..knowin kan n his sense of directions i was going to tell him when to turn but i was so lost in mai thought that it didnt realize that we passed the Paseo..mai mind wanders so easily when imma lookin out the window..i seem to do that alot now..lost in mai own thought..still wondering bout,i rather not sai.....i tired to talk normally but i couldnt stop thinkin of him..i pushed it away but things had to come up n bring it bak..i almost forgot it bai the time we got into the resturant..but then where we sat remined meeh again..i think i was realli happie that day when all of us went there to eat the other time..everything from then on made meeh forget all the sad things i was goin through at that time..but everything ish jus memorie now..dont think ish gonna happen again..oh wellz...hawaiin buger at islands was good, endless tortilla chips n salsa kinda made meeh sick rite now..freakin kan scared the heck out of meeh..hope no one heard that i screamed..should i sleep now?? i gotta wake up in 5 hrs to go to samuri 5k n tofu fest..there goes mai sunday..ne one wanna come visit meeh tom..imma b in lil tokyo for 12 hrs
Is it all, Or are we just friends
There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I don't show it, show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know it, know it
08. 09. 02
recap of yeterdai n todai
- i jus realized that onli 4-5 hrs of sleep in the afternoon
- stayed up all nite to watch sun rise
- 6-12 sleEpIn -_- zZzZzZ
- 12-2 freakin diana woke meeh up n wont let meeh go bak to sleep
- 2-7 online..no sleep
- last day of ROP .. work
-PAY DAY!!!!! =D
- jeff's house..swimmin o.O
meeh diana kan jess n gan all went to jeff house to swim..it was funnie to watch kan throw diana into the pool but wht comes round goes around >.< freakin kan n jeff both lifted meeh off the ground n freakin threw meeh into the pool..i almost drowed..freakin drank alot of those salty water..dont kno it tasted kinda salty to meeh..when i was in the pool i realized i couldnt stand or hold on to the side rails..basically i was jus bobbin in n out of the water tryin to breathe..played this werid game where u sit on someone shoulders n try to push the other team into the water..haha.. it was soOo fun...
game -
round 1 : meeh n gan vs. diana n kan - result: lost
round 2: meeh n kan vs. diana n jesse - result: won =D
round 3: jeff n gan vs. kan n jesse - result: kan n jesse won
round 4: jeff n gan vs meeh n jesse vs. diana n kan - reslut: 2nd
freakin jeff kept pushin meeh into the water..argh..imma gonna get him bak..kan ish a cheater..he kept cheatin..all of them were cheating...got bored n decided to try n float..the last time i was in the pool was a yr ago when freakin will threw meeh into the pool at mRs.sedanos pool party.. -_- whts with these same kinda pplz throwin meeh into the pool ...jesse and gan tried to teach meeh n diana hoz to swim..i freakin look so retarded when i swim..when i tried to swim across the pool i freakin got a cramp on mai leg..it hurted alot but besides that everything was soo kool..thankie guy for tryin to teach meeh hoz to swim
08 . 09 . 02
3:37am [thought of the moment]:
feelin ish one werid thing..so hard to deal with n doesnt make ne sense..hoz u feel bout a person determines hoz u treat them..feelins ish something that ish so hard to hide even tho u try so hard to..it alwayz shows even if u think uve fooled the world..*sigh* each time u learn form ur mistake n when it happens again ur heart shields itself to protect u from gettin hurt..hes rite i am scared..all i can think bout ish nothing last forever...everything seem like dajavu..the scarie part ish that ish happenin at the same time..i stopped thinkin cuz i dont want to think that ish goin to send the same way..pushin everything aside for now but when it reach the top n i cant push it away ne more..wht am i to do then..mai mind tends to make up explination without meeh knowin it..i try to find answers to explain with ish happenin n everytime i do i pick the worst possible outcome..i cant think positive ne more..mai mind doesnt wanna accept the fact that nething positive ish happenin..i wonder if he knos...i dont think ill sleep for the rest of the nite
5:48am
imma still up.. *surprised*.. made jonathan n diana stay up n keep meeh company =D..i wanna see the sun rise..the last time i did this was when i went to new york 2 christmas ago..i didnt sleep all nite but i kept fallin asleep chting..they not going to sleep till i go to work >=D ..muhahahaha ..the sky look so pretty rite now..ish so clearish blue..i should of sat outside n looked at the stars all nite =( ..n posibally talk to someone on the phone all nite..all the stars n the darkness in the sky ish gone now..nothing much to look at it the plain blue sky..prob hab to wait till tonite to look at the stars again..ne one wanna take meeh up to the mountains to look at the stars from up there??
things to do later todai:
- ROP then work
- watch tripple X later with pplz
- slEeEpie..need more sleep
08 . 08 . 02
- ROP then work.. onli one more day left =D
- went to dollar tree to buy things for the scavenger hunt.. spent 26$ o.O
- online..bored to death..
- took this quiz.."What Do You Want Out of Life?" result: o.O
You're a hopeless romantic. You fall in love easily and quickly, and often have your heart broken. You like romantic movies, books, and you're always trying to think of some way to wow your honey. People call you sentimental or idealistic, and sometimes they even make some comment about they might vomit if they have to listen to go on and on any more. Phew. Some day, though, you will make someone very happy.
- "What Mood Are You In?" result: eh...
What's Your Mood?
- imma hella bored rite now..someone save meeh...
08 . 07 . 02
one hella boring day todai..didnt do much but sleep
*sigh* still wonderin....
08 . 06 . 02
didnt wanna wake up this morning for freakin ROP..onli 3 more day of class n ish over..played that card game again todai..this time tony didnt play o.O freakin pplz kept killin mai cards..some of them were so mean they took the card that i need n they onli took it cuz they kno that i need it >.< they r all CHEATERS !!! our van driver lady was late..we were waitin there for like 15 minuets..she ish a freakin krazie driver..swirve in n out of lanes and doin all these krazie stuff..i hate sittin in the font seat cuz it feels like ur going to fly out the big wondow..none of us put on our seat belts n she breaks so hard that u kinda lift up from the seat..onli 3 more day *knock on wood* spent almost like 3 hours drawin this egypitan thing..damn that pharos head took forever to draw..it was funnie hoz this kid made the pplz get on their knee n worship him because he was the pharo for the day...some of them actually plop on the floor n start prayin o.O
went with rosanna to this printin place after work..then off to the freaks house to watch anime..taco tuesday *yummie* ..dna sq. was soo kool...haha junta was soOoOoo cutie..haha..didnt get to finish it..watched like almost 7 esopides..imma half way done..prob gonna finish it tomorrow...i wanted to stay n finish it but i gotta go home..ice cream *yuMmie* baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka ..HAHA...diana san wa baka no hito to omoisamu !!!!! dame desu neHAHAHAHA =P ..ish funnie tryin to talk to her on AIM in japanese..u freak stop jackin mai phrase!!!
ish so easy to stare out the window n start to think..everythin outside the window seem to peaceful but yet inside mai mind ish so complicated..as we grow older we dont see things the way we used to..i kno i dont..relaity sux..i cant seem to sort out alot of things in mai mind rite now..after seein everything that has happened in this short period of time, it made meeh see things in a whole new perspective, i can sometimes tell apart wht ish wht but at times i would rather not kno wht each feelin ish ment.. i still wonder bout alot of things..things happenein now, bak then, n the "wht if.." i hate trappin maiself in a corner..imma jus lost..lost in mai own thought..would there b someone out there to help meeh out of this or do i hab to continue to think on mai own and go through this alone...blaque~question..i wonder if he or ne one reads mai journal
08 . 05 . 02
it didnt seem like i slept at all last nite..freankin so tired in the morning..the first half of ROP i was studyin for environment n then the other half went to play this realli werid but fun card game with daniel will judy n tony..freakin tony wont stop cheating..he kept lookin at mai cards..that freak..haha i think i won that game..almost 200 points..=D
i dont even kno whts the name of the game..
- goal ish to get rid of the cards
-all the face cards and ten r worth ten points
-the ace ish worth fifteen points
-n the rest of the cards are worth five
-u can onli put down straights of the same suit n three of a kind
-deal ne odd number of cards
-the person left of the shufflers starts first
-u either pick a card from the deck or pick it from the pile that pplz dropped
-u can put down ur cards on ur trun onli
-u got to make use to the last card or ull b floatin
-at the end of the game whtever card left in ur hand u deduct the points
work seem to pass by pretty fast now since i hab something to work on in the lib..the club sandwiches was genovesis ish good..but then tooh much vinegar..hate vinegar..dont kno y there ish so much of that in italian food..went to party city after work..n walked down every single freakin asile lookin of things that look egyptian..didnt realli find much things..bought like gold rings, serving tray, cupcake foil, candy corn, n streamer n that freakin cost meeh like 14$ >.< dont kno y i am spendin that much money on lil kids..