Starsky and Hutch

When Universes Collide

 

Reality consists of many universes

Myriad planes of existence

Separated by time and space

One never knowing about the other

 

There is no wrong or right

Simply the view through each person's eyes

But when one world crashes into the other

Fueled by suspicion and hate

 

Who knows what will happen

When universes collide?

 

The slash universe

 

Detective Ken Hutchinson poured two mugs of coffee and carried them into the bedroom. Setting the cups down, Hutch gently shook his lover's shoulder.

"Rise and shine, Curly top, it's time to get up."

Starsky's nose twitched slightly in response to the enticing aroma. He smiled in his sleep and made a humming sound. Suddenly, his eyes opened and he wrapped his hand around Hutch's wrist, pulling him downward.

"I'd rather stay in bed and show you what's rising and shining, Baby Blue."

Hutch laughed and firmly extricated his arm from Starsky's clutches. "Well, I would love to accommodate you, but we're due at the station in half an hour. So, unless you have a "quickie" on your mind, this will have to wait until we get home."

Starsky sat up, pouting and running a hand through his curls. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're a real wet blanket, Hutch?"

The blond wasn't offended. He simply handed Starsky's coffee to him and headed toward the bathroom.

"You have, several times, and it still doesn't change the fact that we have to go to work. So unless you want to show off those sexy briefs you're wearing, you'd better get dressed."

Before Hutch disappeared into the bathroom, he turned and gave Starsky his sexiest smile.

"I'll take a rain check, OK? In case you've forgotten, we have one shift to go and then we're off for three glorious days."

Starsky lit up the room with his smile. "Oh, yeah, I did forget. Well, you'd better rest up, Blondie. I plan on locking the door, turning off the phone and keeping you prisoner in this apartment for those three days. By the time we go back to work, you'll be walking like one of those rodeo cowboys that have been on a horse too long."

Hutch laughed and winked. "Promises, promises."

 

The Gen Universe

 

Detective Ken Hutchinson was tying his shoes when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He glanced at his watch and shook his head fondly.

As the door opened, he looked up. "Hey, that's not bad, Starsk. You're only five minutes late today. Keep it up and one of these days, you just might make it here on time."

"Very funny, Blintz. I would have been here sooner, but there was a line at the bakery. I knew you wouldn't have anything fit to eat for breakfast so I made a stop on the way. I even got you one of those wheat bagels you like, so stop belly-aching and eat."

Hutch caught the pastry then put on his jacket. "That concoction you keep putting down is full of vitamins and minerals. It's good for you, which is a concept that is totally alien to you, I'm sure."

"It might be good for you, but it doesn't taste good. You keep on drinking that stuff and I'll stick to my donuts. Are you ready to go? We have one more shift then we're off for three days and I don't want to make Dobey mad enough that he yanks our free time out from under us."

"God forbid. We haven't had any time off in months. If I have to walk into that station one more time, the next homicide you investigate will be me killing somebody."

Starsky laughed as he started the Torino. "I hear you, partner. I've had my fill of that place, too. Tomorrow, I'm going to turn off the phone and TV, and forget that I'm a cop. Hey, are we still on for the game tomorrow night?"

"We sure are. I've been looking forward to that one for weeks. And since we'll be off duty, we won't get any calls dragging us away before it's over."

Starsky looked stricken. "Don't say that too loud! Someone might hear you."

 

The slash universe

 

Starsky breathed a sigh of relief as Hutch logged them off duty. They had made it through the entire shift without catching any new cases. The only cases they had pending wouldn't progress for a few days, so their time off was not in any jeopardy of being revoked.

As Hutch replaced the mike, he grinned at his partner. "That does it. We're officially off duty for the next three days. Get us out of here, Starsk."

The brunet started the Torino and pointed the hood toward their apartment. He was looking forward to spending the time with the person he loved most in the world: Hutch. Being a homicide detective was hard on a serious relationship. There were too many romantic nights that had been interrupted by a call from their captain, and too many days spent crawling around in the sewers of Bay City. And we can't even let anyone find out about us. What Hutch and I have is beautiful. Why do others have to see it as something unnatural and ugly? We aren't hurting anybody. Why can't they just mind their own business and stay out of ours? Starsky shook his head. He wouldn't let maudlin thoughts mar the next few days.

Hutch glanced curiously at his lover. "What are you thinking about, Starsk?"

Starsky leered suggestively at the blond. "I'm just thinking about all the things I'm going to do to you. I hope you've been drinking plenty of that glop you call a health shake. You're going to need it, buddy."

"I can keep up with you any time, lover boy."

"We'll see, Sweetness, we'll see."

 

The gen universe

 

Hutch signed the last page of his report and stuck it in the folder. He glanced at the clock on the wall and grinned at his partner.

"Thank God and Greyhounds, we're gone, buddy. We are officially off duty until Monday morning. Let's get out of here before Dobey changes his mind and assigns us to another case."

Starsky grabbed the folder and put it in the cabinet then took his jacket off the back of his chair. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's blow this Popsicle stand. Last one out buys the winner a beer at Huggy's."

"Then you'd better make those Adidas fly, buddy boy. I'm already half-way there."

Hutch made it to the Torino a few steps ahead of his friend. "I hope you have plenty of green in that wallet, partner. It's going to take more than one beer to take care of this thirst."

"I'll do you one better. I'll even buy you a Huggy's Special, with all the works."

"You're on, Gordo." Hutch looked around the garage. "Just think, Starsk. We won't have to see the inside of this place for three whole days. Now that's my idea of Heaven.'

 

The slash universe

 

Hutch rolled over and reached for his lover, but the other side of the bed was empty. He listened for a minute then heard the sound of water running in the bathroom. Quietly, he got out of bed and followed the sound. Climbing out of his boxer's, he opened the shower curtain a bit.

"Hey, cowboy, do you have room in there for me?"

Starsky turned around and grinned. "Well, I think so. If you're good, I might even wash your back, and a few other things, too."

Hutch laughed as Starsky wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "How could I refuse an offer like that? Scoot over. You're about to use up all the hot water."

As Starsky washed his back, Hutch grinned over his shoulder. "Are you still serious about staying in the whole time we're off?"

Starsky leaned close to the blond's ear. "Of course I am. Don't tell me you're tired of me already. Or are you just tired? Maybe those health shakes aren't as potent as you thought."

Hutch snorted. "Dream on, buddy boy. I was just thinking about those tickets for the game tonight. If you don't want to go, I'm sure Dobey or Huggy will take them off our hands."

Starsky's eyes widened. "Oh, no you don't! I've been looking forward to that game for weeks. I just forgot that it was tonight."

Hutch turned around and ran a long finger down Starsky's chest. "Are you sure you can keep your hands off me for that long?"

"Excuse me, lover, but it seems like you're the one that can't keep his hands off me. I'm sure I can behave myself for a few hours."

"We'll see. And that better include not screaming at the umpire. The last time we went to a game, you almost got us banned from the stadium."

"Hey, can I help it if that umpire was blind? That was a foul ball and he knew it. Those guys are supposed to be neutral, but every call he made favored the Giants."

"Starsky, you either promise that you'll keep your opinions to yourself, or I'm not going." In an effort to ward off another Starsky pout, Hutch put up is hand. "Look, I'll buy you a hot dog and some peanuts if you're good."

Starsky stuck his tongue out. "You know, sometimes you sound just like my mother."

Hutch ran his hand down the brunet's body. "Well, I bet your mother never did this to you."

Starsky laughed. "If she had, she'd been in jail for child abuse. Don't stop, Blondie. I think somebody just woke up."

 

 

The Gen universe

 

When Hutch heard Starsky pull to the curb, he put on his black and white jacket and walked down stairs, locking his apartment door behind him. As he opened the door on the passenger side of the Torino, he got a good look at his friend.

Starsky had a blue and white ball cap perched on top of his curls, and a blue and white pennant was lying on the seat beside him.

Hutch simply shook his head. "Gee, Starsk, do you think they can tell which side you're rooting for? Maybe you should add some face paint."

"I was going to, but the drug store was all out of blue. I guess I'm not the only fan that likes to show his support for the home team."

Hutch looked out the window as the Torino pulled into traffic, muttering under his breath. "Thank God for small favors."

The two friends found a parking space close to the stadium and walked toward the gate together. After they found their seats, Hutch turned to Starsky.

"Now, I want you to behave yourself. No yelling at the ump, and no rude noises. The last time we were here, you almost got us kicked out."

Starsky protested. "Hey, I can't help it if that umpire was bli…"

Hutch pointed a finger. "I said, no yelling at the ump. Got me? If you're real good, I'll buy you a hot dog and some peanuts. And no throwing them at the cheerleaders, either."

The brunet pouted. "And who are you, my mother?"

"No, your mother had better sense than to take you to a ball game. She let your dad do that, so you could embarrass each other."

"You're just jealous because my Pop knew how to have fun. But I guess I can cool it, a little. I promise to behave."

Hutch's response was fervent. "Thank-you. And if you have to go to the bathroom, do it now. The game will start in a few minutes."

"I went before I picked you up. But I think I'll get that hot dog you promised me, and a coke. Do you want anything?"

Hutch handed him a few bills. "I'll take a coke. Here, get yourself some peanuts while you're at it. Then you won't have to get up again until the game is over."

"Thanks. Save my seat, will ya? I'll be back before they sing the Star Spangled Banner."

As Starsky bounded up the stairs, Hutch rolled his eyes heavenward. "Why do I put myself through this? Some people never grow up." Then he smiled. "Thank God."

 

The Slash Universe

 

The game was a close call, with the home team beating the Giants by just a couple of runs. Starsky behaved as promised, and if the truth were known, Hutch's voice blended with the brunet's on more than one occasion. They kept their seats until the players left the field and waited until some of the spectators left. When the crowd had thinned somewhat, they made their way down the steps and walked out of the stadium.

Starsky walked backwards as he grinned at Hutch. "Now, aren't you glad you came? That was a great game! For a while there, I thought we were toast, but we came back in the last inning."

Hutch smiled tolerantly as he gently turned his lover in the right direction. "Yes, I'm glad we came, and you were a very good boy. There was that one little gesture that you made during the fourth inning, but I don't think the ump even saw it."

"How could he? You were holding my hand so tight you almost broke my knuckles. Anyway, that guy in front of us was so big that the ump probably couldn't see me."

"I know. But it really wasn't helpful when you told him his daddy wasn't a glass maker. I think he got a bit peeved."

"Oh, well, what can I say? Some people have no sense of humor." Starsky stopped just outside of the stadium. "So, if I was a good boy, what do I get for a reward?"

"I bought you the hot dog, the peanuts, two cokes, and a bag of popcorn. What more do you want?"

Starsky's grin nearly split his face as he leered at the blond. "Guess."

Hutch played coy. "Hmmm, I don't know if you were that good."

Starsky lowered his voice. "Come to the Kasbah with me and I'll show you how good I can be."

Thinking they were standing in the shadows away from prying eyes, he pulled Hutch into a passionate embrace. They held each other tight for a moment then Hutch stepped back.

"Well, that was pretty good, but I think you can do better."

Starsky grinned and moved farther back into the shadows, taking Hutch with him. He kissed him passionately again, running his hands down the blond's back until he held the firm cheeks of his bottom tightly.

 

"Oh, yuck! What are you fags doing? Take it somewhere else, would you? The stadium ain't no place for the likes of you. You're spitting in the eye of an American pastime."

 

Hutch broke the embrace and stepped back, looking uncomfortable. Starsky simply turned toward the voice and gave him the bird.

"Why don't you mind your own business, asshole? We aren't bothering you."

Hutch put his hand on Starsky's arm. "Starsk, don't. Let it go. He's not worth it."

A large man moved into the glow of the stadium's lights. He was clearly drunk, and spoiling for a fight.

"You are bothering me, you faggot. Queers like you are an insult to baseball. Why don't you take your boyfriend to the ballet, where you belong?"

Hutch moved forward, raising his hand in a placating gesture. "Let's just take it easy, okay? We're going. We don't want any trouble."

The stranger glowered at him and staggered closer. "Yeah, well, you've already got trouble, you stinking fairy. You got a lot of nerve, showing your face around here. What the Hell are you doing making out right in front of the stadium? There are kids all over the place. Ain't you got any respect for anybody?"

Hutch took a few steps to the side, pulling Starsky with him. "Look, I said we're going. Just settle down and leave us alone. Go back to whatever you were doing."

The stranger bristled. "Don't tell me what to do, you freaking queer!"

Surging forward, the man lashed out with a ham-sized fist. Fortunately, the alcohol in his system slowed his reflexes considerably and Hutch avoided the blow easily. As the man staggered, Starsky moved in, grabbing one arm and pulling it up behind the man's back.

"OK, you did it now. You just tried to punch a cop, scum. You got two seconds to get the Hell out of here, or I'm going to run you in."

Instead of calming down, the stranger bellowed and tried to break free.

"Get your hands off me, you lousy faggot! Help, somebody! These two queers are ganging up on me! Help!"

In seconds, several spectators converged on the two men, surrounding them. Despite their best efforts to escape, they soon found themselves outnumbered.

"Get away from him, you creep!"

"Leave that man alone! He's not hurting anyone!"

"Why don't you queers go hang out with your own kind?"

"Yeah, go away and leave us decent people alone!"

"Faggot!"

"Queer!"

"Fairy!"

"Pansy!"

Starsky reached for his gun at the same time Hutch reached for his, but the surging crowd knocked the weapons out of their hands before they could squeeze the triggers. Unarmed against the attack, they stood back to back. Together, they tried to protect themselves from the angry mob.

 

When Universes Collide

 

Starsky skipped out of the stadium, waving his flag in the air. "Woo-hoo! Go, Dodgers!"

Hutch stifled a grin and put his hand on his friend's arm. "OK, Gordo, let's calm down a little. The game is over. We won. It's time to go home now."

"Calm down? Are you kiddin'? That was a close game. I'm still psyched. Hey, you wanna go to Huggy's and grab a beer? All that popcorn and peanuts made me thirsty."

"Starsky, how can you still be thirsty? You drank both your cokes and part of mine. I'm surprised your eyeballs aren't swimming already."

"Yeah, but that was just to chase everything down. Now I want a beer. Come on, Hutch. Let's go to Huggy's, okay?"

Hutch relented. "OK, we'll go to Huggy's. We don't have to get up in the morning, anyway. And I have to admit, you did behave yourself. Except for that little gesture you made, but I don't think the ump even caught it."

"It's not my fault that ump was playing favorites. Those guys are supposed to be impartial. Besides, the guy sitting in front of me was so big that the ump probably couldn't see me."

Hutch shuddered slightly. "I'm well aware of how big he was. And that reminds me, Starsk. Telling somebody that their daddy wasn't a glass maker might be funny if you're a kid, but it really doesn't go over that well when you're a grown up. I don't think he was amused."

"Some people just don't have a sense of humor. Anyway, I think we lost him when we hid behind that family."

"We weren't hiding, Starsky. We were blending in."

"Whatever you call it, it was a good idea. I think he gave up after a few minutes and went the other way."

As the two friends walked out of the stadium, Hutch cocked his head to one side. They could hear angry voices in the distance.

He glanced at Starsky. "What's going on over there?"

"I don't know, but it sounds like trouble. Maybe we'd better take a look."

As they got closer, they could see a mob of people gathered around two forms lying on the ground. Some of the attackers were kicking at the prone figures and shouting obscenities.

Starsky drew his weapon and looked over at Hutch. "The next time I kid you about wearing your gun when you visit your own mother, remind me of this little incident, will you?"

"You got it, partner. We might be off duty, but we're still cops. Come on; let's break this up before it really turns ugly."

The two detectives trotted toward the unruly crowd. When they were just a few feet away, Starsky aimed his gun toward the stars and squeezed the trigger twice.

"OK, everybody, that's enough! Break it up!"

The crowd scattered like a flock of frightened geese, leaving the two still forms lying face-down on the ground. As two uniformed officers raced up behind them, Starsky kneeled down and put his fingers on the neck of the blond man, and then the brunet.

He looked up at Hutch, his face grave. "I think they're both gone."

The large man that had started the fight staggered back into view. He looked down at the victims with a confused expression on his face.

"They're dead? We didn't mean to kill them. We were only teaching them a lesson."

Hutch glared at the stranger. "That's a pretty severe lesson, don't you think?"

The man protested vehemently. "Hey, they're fags! They ain't got no business coming around here. They were groping each other and kissing, right in front of God and everybody. We got kids coming out of the stadium. They could see everything those two pansies did. They had to be stopped. It ain't natural, you know. They ain't supposed to come around us decent people."

Starsky stood up slowly. "And I guess beating two people to death because they're different is natural? Dirt bags like you make me ashamed that I'm breathing the same air as you. You just won yourself a one-way ticket to the joint, smart guy."

As the uniformed cops dragged the man away, he shouted over his shoulder. "Hey, I didn't do anything wrong! It's their fault! Being a fag ain't natural!"

Hutch stood over the inert figures and shook his head sadly. "What ever happened to tolerance and loving your fellow man? When I see goons like that, I'm surprised we ever learned to walk upright."

"Me, too, partner." Starsky kneeled down and gently turned the blond over. His face blanched as he looked at the fallen man. With a shaky hand, he turned over the brunet, gasping audibly as he saw the man's face.

He bolted upwards, staggering against Hutch. "Oh, my God, Hutch, how can it be?"

The blond shook his head in denial. "It can't be. It can't be. Dear God, they look just like us."

They stared at each other for a few seconds then Starsky shuddered. "I don't understand. How can they be us? What's going on, Hutch?"

"I don't know. This is unreal." Then the blond's eyes widened. "Starsky, look at your hands!"

The brunet followed his friend's eyes and was shocked again. Although he held out his right hand, he could see the ground below through it. His blue eyes reflected his fear as he regarded his friend.

"Hutch, I can see right through you! What's happening to us?"

The two partners that had been closer than brothers reached out for each other. As their hands came together, they slowly disappeared from sight, leaving only the two bruised and battered forms lying on the ground.

 

The End

Story and poem by Pat L.

Edited by Sonja van Schalm

March 2004

 

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