Through the Eyes of a Child

 

It was one of those ho-hum days that David Starsky and his partner, Ken Hutchinson, loved and hated. They loved it because few of their days were as peaceful as this one, but they hated it because the endless patrolling sapped their energy and wore on their nerves. Their beat was the inner city, where robbery and murder were as plentiful as the abandoned buildings that lined the streets.

As Starsky turned the corner, going from 8^th to Main, Hutch happened to look up at the second floor window of the building at the end of the block. He blinked then shook his head fiercely. Did I really see that? The sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, but was that really what he thought it was? My eyes must be playing tricks!

"Starsky, quick, go around the block!"

"What?"

"I said, go around the block. I think I saw something in that building back there."

"What building?"

Hutch motioned behind him. "The one on the corner, that has all that movie stuff from when the theater shut down. You know, it has those life size cutouts of Humphrey Bogart and Vivian Leigh and Marilyn Monroe. Just do it, would you?"

Starsky shook his head and did as his friend demanded. "What did you see? Was someone breaking in?"

"No, but you won't believe what I did see. There's a kid on the second floor! He was looking out the window at me."

Starsky shot a skeptical glance at the blond. "Hutch, you really should check the expiration date on that desiccated liver before you eat it."

"I'm serious, Starsky! He was standing in front of the window. He can't be very old, because all I could see was his head."

"Why would a kid be up there? There hasn't been anyone in that building for three years."

"I know that! But I saw him. He was standing right in the middle of the window."

Starsky completed the circle and checked the traffic in the rearview mirror before he pulled over to the curb. Hutch was out of the car before Starsky turned off the ignition. The two men stood on the sidewalk and looked up at the second floor.

Starsky snorted. "That's a dummy, dummy. It ain't real. It must be a mannequin from one of the stores around here that went bust."

Hutch grinned sheepishly. "I guess you're right. It's funny how your mind can play tricks on you. It looked like he was staring right at me. Well, at least I know he wasn't abandoned. There are so many homeless people down this way that I was really worried for a minute."

Starsky patted his partner on the shoulder. "That's okay, Hutch. It's almost lunchtime. Why don't we log out and go to Huggy's for a bite to eat?" He grinned at the blond. "I think you need to get out of the sun for a while."

Hutch threw a mock glare at the brunet. "It was an optical illusion, Starsky. He looked real from a distance. Anybody would make the same mistake."

"Sure, they would, Blintz. And I'm sure some poor mannequin mommy is looking for her little boy. We'll get right on that after lunch."

"Very funny. Can we please go now?"

As Starsky got back in the car, Hutch cast one more look at the small face in the window. Well, he looked real to me.

 

The next few days weren't as quiet as that one, so Hutch didn't have to endure the good-natured ribbing from his partner for long. Still, the image of the child looking down at him never strayed far from his thoughts. As he looked out of his apartment window, Hutch let his imagination fly. If that tiny mannequin would suddenly become real, like a modern-day Pinocchio, what would he see? Would he see the Torino as it went by, the red and white colors standing out against the usual black and brown cars? Would he know that its occupants were all that stood between him and the darker side of humanity? Would he notice the derelicts that huddled in the alleys and doorways during the day, their hats pulled over their eyes as they tried to sleep? At night, would he see the women standing on the corner and mistake one of them for his mother? Would he be afraid, or would he long for someone to rescue him from his loneliness? The world could be a scary and uncertain place when you looked through the eyes of a child. But when he first saw the face in the window, he didn't think the boy looked afraid. It was as if he were simply watching the cars and people go by, waiting patiently for someone to come and get him.

Hutch thought back, and remembered his own vigil from a second story window.

The happiest times of his childhood were spent at his grandfather's farm. From the large window in his room, he could see the white fence that bordered the property. In the late afternoon, as the sun lay low on the horizon, he could see his dad sitting in one of the ornate lawn chairs, sipping a glass of tea. It was one of the few times his father could relax, away from the constant stress of running a large firm. Then Hutch would see his grandfather walking up the dirt road, tired and hungry from a long day spent in the fields. His grandpa would look up at him, smile, and give their secret wave. Hutch would laugh and run down the stairs, taking them two at a time, his silent vigil over for another day.

The grown-up Hutch sighed with sadness as he remembered the last time he kept that vigil. Angry at the world, the young Ken Hutchinson hid in his room and watched the steady stream of strangers as they came to pay their last respects to the man that Hutch adored. He didn't want the comfort his parents tried to give, and he didn't want to be fawned over by people he'd never met. His grandfather was gone. The horses he'd rode since he was old enough to walk, pretending that he was a cowboy on a dangerous cattle drive, would soon be loaded on a trailer and taken to a new home. The fields where he'd wandered during endless summers, pretending to be a famous big-game hunter, would belong to someone else now.  Everything he cherished was gone, and the emptiness left by his grandfather's death pierced his young heart like a sword.

I wish you could have met my grandpa, Starsky. I think you would have liked him. I think he would have liked you. He was taken away much too soon. But then, I'm not the only one who lost someone I loved when I was young.

He thought about his dark-haired partner. Was Starsky watching out the window that fateful day? Did he see his father gunned down in the street, his blood staining the pavement red? Did he shake his fist at the unfairness of life, his whole world turned upside down in an instant? What was it like to look out that window every day, and know your dad was never coming home? As much as Hutch loved his grandfather, and as tense as his relationship was with his father, he always had the comfort of knowing his dad was alive and well.

And then, just months after losing his father, Starsky's life was disrupted again when his mother sent him to California. How did he feel as he looked out the window of his new home? The only time Hutch had to deal with strangers was at his grandpa's funeral. But Starsky's world was filled with unfamiliar faces. Everyone and everything he knew had been taken away. It was a burden too large to be put on young shoulders. It could have turned the heartbroken boy into an angry man, but instead it gave him a boundless enthusiasm for life. The adult that Starsky became was testament to the strength, endurance, and faith he had. Hutch smiled as he thought about the paths two separate lives took that converged into one. Who knew that one day, a blond, semi-rich kid from Minnesota would find friendship with a curly, dark-haired, street-wise kid from New York? The events that shaped them and the things they'd seen from many windows made them the men they were today.

Hutch heard the distinctive sound of the Torino before he saw it. He gazed fondly at the garish car as his irrepressible partner jumped out, a paper bag in his hand. He saw Starsky look up with that unerring connection they shared, and those indigo eyes twinkle when he saw the blond head in the window.  The grin Starsky bestowed on him filled the emptiness left by childhood tragedies with love. Hutch laughed and opened the window.

"What are you doing down there? Get up here with that beer before it gets hot."

The grin turned to a laugh as Starsky disappeared from sight. As he heard his friend coming up the stairs, Hutch took one last look out of the window and smiled.

Windows were simply panes of glass, portals to the world around you, but not everything you saw was sad. Sometimes when you looked, what you found was the key to your heart.

 

The end

 

Story by Pat L.

April, 2004

 

Author's note: The building I described in the story really exists in my home town. The cardboard cutouts that stand in front of the large window on the ground floor have been there for as long as I can remember. I've passed that building thousands of times in the last few years, but I don't know what made me look up that day. When I saw that small face looking down at me, I was as shocked as Hutch was. The little boy that I thought I saw was young. All I could see was the top of his head, his brown hair cut in that "little boy cut" that I know so well, two small eyes that looked out the window, filled with curiosity, and a little button nose. I couldn't see his mouth or his chin, so I knew he couldn't be very tall. Like Hutch, I was shocked when I saw that face staring down at me, where no child belonged. I really did drive around the block. I had to know if I really did see what I thought I saw, or if it was simply my imagination. Of course, when I took a closer look, I knew he wasn't real, but it still gave me a start. Now, whenever I go by, I can't resist looking up at that innocent face in the window. I don't know who put him there, or why, but he's still there, like a tiny sentinel guarding the town.

I haven't found the inspiration to write in a very long time. It’s been more than a simple case of writer's block, but more like the desire to write was gone completely. Now, thanks to that tiny face in the window, my muse has come back. It was only a short visit, but perhaps soon, she'll be back for good.

 

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