Sticks and Stones

Starsky vs. Hutch aftermath

Starsky’s POV

 

I felt a little silly on the way over to Kira’s place. Well, not silly, but kinda excited, kinda nervous, but really happy. Then there I was, knocking on Kira’s door holding this box in my hand. Right then, I felt like a kid again. Yeah, I know, I’m not a kid anymore, but she made me feel young. Not that I’m old, mind you, but it had been a long, long time since I felt this way about anybody. After Terry died, I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way again. And it was nice, you know? This feeling, like whatever happened; it couldn’t spoil your day. Well, that’s what I get for thinking.

Yeah, I know what they say about Kira. I’ve heard them snickering behind my back, and I’ve seen them ogling her when she walks by. Why is it, when a guy sleeps around, he’s a swinging bachelor, but when a woman does it, she’s a slut? Talk about double standards. Kira is a grown woman. We’re both adults. I don’t care about how many guys she’s known. I’ve been around the block a few times myself. All I know is I like the way I feel when we’re together.

I know we haven’t known each other that long. So what? Where is it written that you can’t fall in love at first sight? I knew she was special the first time I saw her. It wasn’t just her looks, even though she’s a knock-out. I like her intelligence, her caring, and her sense of humor. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I love her. Why is that so hard to believe, or accept? And what business of yours is it anyway?

I thought we were friends, Hutch. We’ve been together for a long time, partners as well as friends. Were you happy for me when I told you I loved her? You know how bad I hurt after Terry died. Were you glad that I found someone to share my life with, to laugh with, and to love? No, you weren’t. You just stood there and looked at me with this weird expression on your face. I don’t know, maybe you didn’t hear me right. Or maybe you thought I was just yanking your chain. Cause if you had really believed me, you wouldn’t have gone tearing over to her house to put the move on her.

All I know is every single bit of joy that I was feeling went right out the door when I saw you coming out of her bedroom. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what you two were doing. Your hair was messed up, and in case you didn’t notice, your shirt was buttoned wrong and part of it was hanging out of your pants. You couldn’t have hurt me worse if you’d taken your gun out and shot me in the face. How could you do that? I tell you I love this woman and you run right over to her place and take her to bed. I never thought I’d want to hit you, but right then, all I wanted to do was pound your face in so bad that even your own mother wouldn’t recognize you. I guess Kira was the only one thinking clearly because she did the most sensible thing she could do: she kicked us both out of the house.

Man, I thought we were through with this shit. After we got Joey under wraps, we talked it all out, and I thought we mended our fences. We even put on that great big show at Huggy’s, letting Kira know that she couldn’t come between us. No woman was ever going to do that, right partner? Yeah, right.

So what happened today? We got in this big fight, and you told me to grow up, quit acting like a child, and you told me that all I wanted was to put another notch on my bedpost. Excuse me? Who saw who coming out of her bedroom? Unless I’m hallucinating, it wasn’t me.

I don’t know what’s been going on with you lately, Hutch. You’ve been pushing me away. I know the job’s got you down, but we’ve been friends for a long time. I thought you were the best friend I had in the whole world. But now I’m not so sure. You know that old saying about sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me? Well, they got it wrong. Words can hurt if the right person says them.

You know, maybe I didn’t love Kira. If I can live without Terry, I sure as Hell can live without her. But the one person I can not live without is you. You’re the only one in this mean old world that matters to me. You keep me sane, Hutch. You keep the walls from closing in and the darkness from taking over. Call me, Hutch. Whatever this wall is that you’re building between us, tear it down before it’s too high to climb over. Please call. Eating a little crow never killed anybody.

 

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