apartment. He let himself in quietly. Micki Ellis, his fianc�e, was in the greenhouse, watering the plants and singing softly. He smiled to himself. The difference a few months made was amazing. Tommy Carruthers was a distant memory. The scars, internal as well as external, were fading away, and the nightmares were long gone. Now, they could concentrate on their upcoming wedding and the new lives they would be starting.
Hutch smiled in bemusement as he realized the song Micki was singing. He stood out of her line of sight and listened.
It�s not that easy bein� green.
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold-
Or something much more colorful like that.
It�s not easy bein� green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things,
And people tend to pass you over �cause you�re
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water-
Or stars in the sky.
She stopped and smiled when she saw him standing there. �Hi! I didn�t hear you come in.�
He walked over to her and kissed her. �It�s not easy being green?�
She grinned hugely. �Well, it�s not. You should try it sometime.�
He laughed. �I think I�ll pass.�
She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They held each other close, then Hutch broke the kiss.
�So, what do you want for dinner?�
�Oh, a little of this, a little of that.� Her green eyes were the color of jade as she looked up at him. Her wicked smile spoke volumes.
Hutch sternly told his hormones to behave. �I was talking about food, Mick.�
She was practically purring as she pressed her body against his. �I like my idea better.�
He growled, pretending to be angry. �Down, woman. I�ve been working hard all day and I want something to eat.�
�Like my mom always said, the way to a man�s heart is through his stomach." She laughed gaily and stepped back. "Where do you want to go? Anywhere is fine with me.�
He hugged her briefly, then gently pushed her toward the bathroom. �Go get washed up and we�ll go to The Pits. I�ll call Starsky and Tracy and see if they want to meet us there.�
�Sounds good to me. I�ll only be a minute. I need to wash the plant food off my hands.�
She walked to the bathroom, singing as she went. �It�s not easy bein� green.�
They met Starsky and Tracy for dinner, and enjoyed a quiet evening. The next morning, Starsky picked Hutch up, as usual. Micki and Tracy left in Micki�s car, since they were going to the Hall of Records instead. Captain Harold Dobey was waiting for the two men when they arrived at the station.
�Starsky, Hutch, can I see you for a minute, please?�
The two men traded looks, then followed their Captain into his office. He motioned for them to sit down, then sat behind his desk.
�I heard from Warden Woolridge this morning.�
Hutch scowled and shook his head slowly. �Don�t tell me Carruthers escaped again?�
�No, but he will be getting out of prison soon. Only, this time, he�ll be going out in a coffin.�
Hutch raised an eyebrow, surprised. �He�s dying?�
�Yes. He�s got cirrhosis of the liver. Warden Woolridge says he�s pretty bad.�
Starsky looked confused. �He�s only been in prison a few months. How�d he get so bad so fast?�
�Apparently he�d had symptoms for a while, but he either chose to ignore them, or didn�t realize how seriously ill he was. Anyway, I wanted to let you know so you can tell the girls. It will be better coming from you instead of hearing it from somebody else. Considering the history Micki and Carruthers have, I wasn�t sure how she would take the news.�
Hutch frowned again. �I honestly don�t know, either. Thanks, Captain, for letting us know. I guess I should tell Micki as soon as possible. God knows, I don�t want her to read it in a report, or something.�
Starsky drove Hutch back to their apartment, then went home to wait for Tracy. Hutch prowled the apartment, wondering how Micki would react to the news. When she came home an hour later, he kissed her hello, then led her to the couch.
�I have some news, Micki, but I want you to hear me out before you say anything.�
She searched his face for some sign of what he was going to say. She knew instinctively that it wasn't going to be good news. Micki took a deep breath, and released it slowly. �OK, go ahead.�
�Warden Woolridge called Dobey this morning. Carruthers is sick. He has cirrhosis of the liver. He�s dying.�
Micki sat very still, her eyes riveted to the floor. She looked up after a few minutes, and he could see the conflicting emotions move across her face. She clasped her hands tightly together, then asked quietly, �How long does he have?�
�Dobey didn�t say, but the way he talked, it won�t be long.�
She got up and walked out onto the balcony. She touched the leaves of a large plant, and looked out over the city.
Her voice was muted, as if she were talking to herself. �As you sow, so shall ye reap.�
Hutch followed her into the room. He stood beside her and ran his fingers through her hair. �Are you OK, Mick?�
She shrugged and moved away. She sat down on the bench, and hugged herself as if she were suddenly cold. Hutch sat down on the bench next to her, but she kept staring out at the city. He shook his head slowly.
�Don�t shut me out, Micki.�
�I�m not. I just don�t know what I feel right now. He seemed so healthy. I never would have guessed he was sick.�
�Well, apparently he didn�t realize it, either. It�s not your fault, Micki. You didn�t force him into his life-style.�
�I know. I think I need some time to let this sink in. Would you mind if we didn�t go out for dinner? I�d rather stay in tonight.�
�Sure, whatever you want. I�m sorry, Micki. It seems like every time we think we�re going to get away from Carruthers, he pops in again. I hated dropping this on you, but I didn�t want you to hear it from somebody else.�
�I�m glad you told me. I just don�t know what I should be feeling. Should I be glad that he�s dying? He�s done some horrible things, but he�s a human being. I should be happy, but I�m not. It just makes me sad.�
�I won't insult you by saying that I know how you feel. It has to be a shock. You would have never known he was sick by looking at him. But, this isn't something you could have prevented, Micki. Nobody is immune to cancer, not even Tommy Carruthers."
Micki shrugged. "I know, but I lived with him for six months. I should feel something, but what?"
He put his arms around her, and this time, she didn't pull away. They sat on the bench for a few more minutes, then he led her back into the kitchen. "I wish I knew what to say to you, but anything that I say will be just words. Look, why don�t we have a quiet dinner, and think about something else tonight? You�ll have more time to absorb this tomorrow.�
�OK, I�ll try, I promise.�
When the four detectives arrived at the Task Force offices, they were surprised to find Warden Woolridge waiting for them. Captain Dobey motioned for them to sit down, then nodded at the warden.
Woolridge gazed at Micki. �I have a message from Tommy Carruthers. He wants to see you.�
Hutch shook his head violently. �NO!!!�
Micki raised an eyebrow. �Excuse me?�
Hutch swore to himself. He knew better than to forbid Micki to do anything. Her Irish temper and stubborn streak would take over, and she would do it simply to prove that she could. He pushed his reservations away, and tried to reason with her.
�Hasn�t he put you through enough, Micki? Why should you go see him? You don�t actually think he�s going to repent, do you? He wants to intimidate you, that�s all.�
�Does it really matter? He�s dying, Ken. He can�t hurt me any more. What�s the harm in going to see him? He�s behind bars. He won�t be able to touch me, so he can�t possibly be a threat.�
Hutch ran his long fingers over his face and sighed. �I know that I can�t talk you out of it, but for God�s sake, be careful. I don�t know why you�d want to see him. You don�t owe him anything. Just�.be careful, OK?�
She walked over to him, and laid her hand gently on his face. Then she let her hand fall onto his, squeezing it briefly. �I will, I promise. Don�t worry, I�ll be on one side of the bars, and he�ll be on the other. I won�t stay long, either.�
Tracy and Micki followed the warden back to the prison in Micki�s car. Tracy stayed at the door to the cell block as Micki walked to Carruthers� cell. She flinched involuntarily when she saw him for the first time in months. The cancer had already taken its toll on him. When they first met, before Micki had learned his true identity, Carruthers had possessed a boyish charm. His blue eyes and freckled face made him look like the boy next door. She found out later that the fa�ade hid a ruthless monster, but if he had been genuine, she could easily have fallen in love with him.
Now, his eyes were shrunk in his head, with dark circles under them. His shirt and trousers hung on him, emphasizing the weight he had lost. His skin was so white, a result of being in prison in addition to the illness, that it was almost translucent. There was no doubt in her mind now. Tommy Carruthers was dying.
He walked up to the bars and stood calmly while she looked at him. His upper lip curled slightly at one end.
�I�m not exactly at my best, am I, baby-cakes?�
She shrugged slightly. �How do you feel, Carruthers?�
He laughed. �I�m dying. How do you think I feel? And, what�s with this Carruthers shit? Ain�t I still your Danny boy?�
�I�m sorry, Danny. You may not believe it, but I am. I wish things had turned out differently. You could have been so much more.�
He lunged at the bars. �Don�t you pity me, bitch! I lived my life the way I wanted, and I didn�t owe anybody anything! If it wasn�t for you, I�d still be living high. You put me here. It�s your fault. I hope you�re happy.�
�I�m not happy, but I didn�t do this to you, Danny. You made your own choices. I didn�t force you into anything. You murdered those girls and you tried to kill me. I�m not the one punishing you, God is.�
He sneered at her through the bars. �You�re still so high and mighty, aren�t you? You put me here, and got a big reward for it. And you got your blonde cop, too, didn�t you? But be careful, baby-cakes. What goes around, comes around. I ain�t six feet under yet.�
She smiled sadly. �You can�t threaten me any more, Danny. You don�t intimidate me, and you certainly don�t control me. You�re a loser, Danny. You were a loser when you lived, and you�ll be a loser when you die. Your whole life was a waste. Good-bye, Danny. May your soul rest in peace.�
She turned around and walked away. Carruthers grabbed the bars and shook them.
�You haven�t seen the last of me, baby-cakes! I�ll see you in Hell, bitch!�
She stopped and looked over her shoulder. �Don�t bet on it.�
Micki walked down to the end of the cellblock and nodded at Tracy. They left the prison without looking back.
