| Don't Take My Son |
| Sweet Revenge- Rachel Starsky's POV |
The sun is shining so brightly today. After the cold and cloudy days we've had, this is a wonderful sight to see. The whole world seems happier, and every one wears a smile. I'm doing much better, myself. Oh, the doctor said I gave him quite a scare, but it was only angina. He said that if I take it easy, watch my diet, and take my medications, I'll do just fine. Then he told me that I shouldn't have any stress. He looked puzzled when I laughed. No stress? I have two sons, need I say more? Nicky is my baby. Oh, I'm sorry, I mean my youngest son. He's a grown man now and gets upset when I call him my baby, but he is. He was so young when his father died. I watch him as he looks at his father's picture. It's almost as if he's trying to remember the sound of his voice. He doesn't remember Mike's strong hands when he carried him on his shoulder. Mike's gentle kiss when he tucked him in at night is only a faint memory. The pictures can help him remember what Mike looked like, but they can't show him the love his father had for all of us. I feel like, in some ways, that I failed Nicky. Losing a parent at such a young age is traumatic, and I constantly tried to make up for it. I turned my back when I should have been watching Nicky closely. I didn't ask enough questions. I didn't ask who he was going around with. I didn't ask what he did after school, or where he went when he skipped school. I didn't ask where he got the money for the presents he bought me, or the new shoes he was wearing. I spent so much time making up for the father that he lost that I forgot to be his mother. He seems to be doing better now. Maybe the visit he had with his brother helped him in ways that I couldn't. Davy is my oldest son. If Nicky is more like me, then Davy is the image of his father. He has Mike's eyes, his smile, and his big heart. Nicky doesn't remember much about that awful night, but the sight of his father lying in a pool of blood on the street is something that Davy will never forget. I was so caught up in my own pain that I couldn't help Davy come to grips with his. For a while, I was really worried about Davy. He got in with the wrong crowds, and nothing I said or did seem to matter. I was really worried that he would end up in jail, or worse, so I did the only thing I could do: I sent him to live with his Aunt Rose in California. It took a long time for Davy to understand why, but I think we're over that now. We don't talk about it, but I know how difficult it was for him. Losing his father was bad enough, but then he was taken away from everything he knew. His friends, his school, and what was left of his family were here, a whole country away. He says he understands how hard it was for me, too, but I think only a mother would truly understand how it felt. It was like amputating a part of my soul. But it worked out in the end. David grew up to be a fine young man. He joined the army and survived another difficult part of his life. When he was discharged, I hoped that he would come back to New York, but he didn't. He said California was his home now. I know he loves me and Nicky, but this apartment is a part of his childhood, a part of his past. When he called me and told me that he was going to be a policeman, my heart skipped more than a few beats. I had lost his father to violent crime. I didn't want to lose my oldest son, too. But, like I said, that's the way Davy is. He does what he thinks is best, no matter what harm may come to him. He did very well in the academy and he wore his uniform with pride. When he passed the detective's exam, he was so happy. He told me that finally, he could make a difference. And he has. He hasn't been alone out there, you know. He has Ken. The two of them are as different as day light and dark, but Ken is the brother Nicky could never be. They share the same hopes and dreams, and they are closer than any two men I've ever seen. Mind you, their relationship has had a few rough spots, but that's to be expected. They are both very strong, and being together so much, it would be foolish to think they never disagree. But I know when it really matters, Davy will take care of Ken and Ken will take care of Davy. Although I've only seen Ken a few times, I can hear the love he feels for Davy in his voice whenever I talk to him. Did the sun go behind a cloud? Why does it seem so dark now? It's colder, too. The hair on my arms is standing up and I can feel the goose bumps under my sweater. "Davy?" I thought I heard him calling my name. I know I'm just being a sentimental old woman. Davy is fine. If anything happened, I know Ken would tell me. Still, maybe I should give him a call. I know how busy they are, but it would be nice to hear his voice. Maybe I could talk to Davy, too, if only for just a minute. I miss him so much. Did I tell you how much he reminds me of his father? Don't Take My Son He lived inside of me for nine months I had such hopes and dreams Even when his brother came along He was still my first-born son He's seen so much tragedy He lost his father and his home But in spite of that, he grew from a child to a man Now he follows his dreams, wherever they lead I taught him love then he went to war And they taught him how to kill But what would bring a weaker man to his knees Made him strong and showed him the way Now he's caught up in a different battle The streets of his home filled with his enemies I'm asking you Lord, please don't take my son It's your work he's been doing If you let him live I know he'll make you proud |