Glimpses

Glimpses of the Past

   Sergeant David Michael Starsky was cleaning house. The workload at the 9th Division had been heavy lately, rising in proportion with the summer temperatures. His apartment had suffered from his long hours and hectic schedule, and was starting to resemble a junk yard.
    Starsky chuckled to himself. "It's starting to look like Hutch's car. Mom would have a fit if she came for a visit right now. I can hear her talking now. 'David Michael Starsky, I taught you better than this. Clean up this place right now!"
    After putting the living room and kitchen in order, he decided to tackle his bedroom closet. Clean clothes had been carelessly folded and left in a basket on the closet floor. He put his shirts in the proper dresser drawer, and hung his jeans in the customary place. He bent down to gather up the underwear and socks in the bottom of the basket, and straightened up too close to the closet shelf, bumping his head.
    "Ouch, that hurts!" He rubbed his head, and then jumped back as a shoe box fell from the shelf, spilling its contents onto the floor.
    "Way to go, dummy. You're supposed to be cleaning up, not messing up."
    Muttering to himself, he kneeled down and started picking up the old photographs that he had stashed away in the shoe box. A particular photo caught his attention, so he put the shoe box back on the shelf and backed out of the closet.
    It was a picture of him, taken after he had moved to Bay City. Almost against his will, he had joined the YMCA right after he came to live with his Aunt Rose and Uncle Al. He was around fifteen at the time the picture was taken, and remembered all to well the circumstances that surrounded the move. Standing there, and holding a basket ball, the young man in the picture looked sadly out of place, and extremely unhappy. His heart ached as he remembered one of the most difficult times in his life.
    He sat down on his bed, looking at the picture. He sighed as a melancholy mood washed over him.
   "Fifteen years old, too old to be called a boy, but too young to be a man. But, I tried to be, didn't I, Momma?"

    Fourteen year old David Starsky eased the door open and tip-toed through the living room. He was almost to his bedroom door when he heard a snap, and the lamp beside the couch came on. He groaned inwardly as he saw his mother's arms crossed against her chest.
    "Where have you been, Davy? It's almost midnight."
    David scuffed his toe against the threadbare rug. "No where. Just out."
    "No where, you say. And who were you with, while you were no where?"
    "No body special, just some friends. What's the big deal, any way? We weren't doing anything wrong."
    "The big deal is, it's late and you're fourteen. You have no business being out this late, even if you weren't doing anything wrong."
    "It's not that late. You're treatin' me like I was a baby. I was just hanging out with the guys, that's all."
    "And where you were didn't have a phone? You couldn't take time out from your friends to call and let me know you were OK? If you hadn't come back soon, Joe was going to go out looking for you."
    David exploded. "Joe Durniak? What did you have to call him for? He's not my father!"
    "Now you listen to me, David Michael Starsky. Joe is a very nice man, and he's done a lot for this family. We owe him a lot."
    "Joe Durniak is a crook! If Pop were still alive, he wouldn't let him near this apartment. I don't owe him anything!"
    Rachel Starsky pointed her finger at her son, and shook it. "Lower your voice, young man! You'll wake your brother. Joe helped us in our time of need. He paid for your father's funeral, in case you've forgotten."
    "He didn't have to! Cops take care of their own. Pop said that. Remember Sergeant O'Malley's funeral? It was nice. Pop would have liked something like that. If he knew Joe Durniak paid for his funeral, he'd roll over in his grave."
    Rachel massaged her temples. "Davy, there are some things in this world that you don't understand. Maybe you will when you're older, but not right now. I don't want to discuss this with you. It's late. Go to bed, now."
    David's reply was bitter. "I'll never understand. Pop put creeps like Joe in prison all of the time. Now you just let him walk in and take over. When I grow up, I'm going to be just like Pop, not like Joe Durniak."
    Rachel took a step toward her son, but he ran into his bedroom and slammed the door before she could touch him.
    David shrugged out of his jacket and threw it over a chair. He walked over to a shelf beside his bed, where a baseball lay in a small, clear box. The baseball had been autographed by Lloyd Herman Eckworth, and it was one of his prize possessions. Eckworth wasn't exactly in the same class as Babe Ruth, but he had gone to the game with his dad, and that made it special. The young Starsky rubbed his face as unwelcome tears stung his eyes. He flung himself on the bed and buried his face in the crook of his arm. His tortured voice was muffled.
    "Why did you have to die, Pop? It's not fair!"

A week later, David and his brother, Nicky came home from school and found visitors waiting for them. Nicky ran over first.
    "Uncle Al, Aunt Rosie! I didn't know you were coming. Did you bring us anything?"
    Rachel laughed at her younger son, only slightly embarrassed. "Nicky! Is that any way to say hello? It's not nice to expect presents."
    Al waved his hand. "It's okay, Rachel. Nicky didn't mean anything. If you'll help your Aunt Rosie unpack, you just might find something there for you and Davy."
    Nicky grinned. "OK! Come on, Davy, let's go!"
    David stayed where he was, reluctant to move. Al nodded encouragingly.
    "Go on, Davy. We can talk later."
    The older boy shrugged. "OK."
    As he left the room, Rachel twisted her apron in her hands. "See what I mean? He's so quiet lately, and so sad. We used to talk. He'd tell me all about his day, or his dreams. Now, he just spends time in his room, or disappears for hours. I don't know what he's thinking any more."
    "He just lost his father, sis. I know, Mike was your husband, but Davy is at the age where he really needs his father. He's hurt, he's angry and he's confused. You have to give the boy time. He'll come around, eventually."
    Rachel sighed. "I know, but I'm afraid of what will happen in the meantime. I've been hearing things, from Mike's old friends on the force. Davy's getting in with the wrong crowd, and I'm worried that he might get into real trouble. That's why I want him to come and stay with you, for a while. He'll probably be furious with me, but I'd rather have him furious than in jail, or worse."
    "You know that we'd love to have him. Nobody says it has to be forever. We'll do our best, sis. Have you told him yet?"
    "No. I know that's being deceitful, but I was afraid that he'd run away if I told him." A single tear ran down her face. "He'll think I'm abandoning him."
    Al put his arm around her shoulder. "I won't deny that's possible, but he'll come around in time. In a few years, he'll thank you. Try not to worry. He'll have a great time, and he might even grow to love Bay City. It's not like you're sending him into exile. You and Nicky can come out and visit any time you like."
    She patted her brother's hand. "I know, Al. I really appreciate you taking him in. I don't know what I'd do without you."
    "It's going to be OK, Rachel. Now, why don't we all go out to eat, and we'll tell Davy the news after dinner."
    She sighed. "No, I think I'd rather cook. It would be too much like giving the condemned man a last meal."
    Rachel cooked her oldest son's favorite meal, and was happy to see him eating again. She braced herself for the scene she knew would come later that night. As soon as she could, she sent Nicky to bed, with a promise of blueberry waffles the next morning. After Nicky was tucked in, Rachel sat beside her oldest.
    "Davy, Uncle Al and Aunt Rosie would like you to go home with them."
    David's eyes widened. "And miss school? How long would I be gone?"
    Al kept his voice gentle. "We're not talking about a visit, Davy. We want you to come and live with us for a while."
    David looked at his mother. "Are you and Nicky coming, too?"
    Rachel touched his hand. "No, sweetheart."
    The implications of what she had said sank in. "But, why?"
    "Davy, I'm worried about you. I can see how unhappy you've been. I think that getting away for a while would help you. There are so many bad memories in this house. You need to get away, and decide what you want to do with the rest of your life."
    "I know what I want to do! I want to be a cop, just like Pop was. I don't have to go away to figure that out."
    Al cleared his throat. "Davy, your mom thinks it's best for you to come home with us. She's not punishing you. You haven't done anything wrong. She just doesn't want anything to happen to you."
    Davy stood in the center of the room. "What if I don't want to go? All my friends are here. I've gone to the same school since I was a little kid. Why do you want to get rid of me?"
    "I don't want to get rid of you, Davy."
    "That's a lie! You want to get rid of me so Joe Durniak can come in here and take over the place. I bet if Nicky was older, you'd get rid of him, too!"
    David ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
    Rachel ran after him. "Davy, come back! Please, listen to me!"
    Al stopped her before she got to the door. "Let him go, Rachel. He'll come back. He just needs to sort things out. He'll come around, you'll see."
    "I hope so. I hope I'm not making a big mistake. I'm afraid he'll hate me for the rest of his life."
    "He won't, sis. I promise."

   David Starsky wandered around the streets he had called home for fourteen years. Occasionally, he swiped angrily at the tears running down his face. He stood under a street light and shook his fist angrily at the stars.
    "It's not enough that you took my Pop away from me? You had to take Ma and Nicky, too? What did I do that was so wrong?"
    Desolate, he leaned against the street light and closed his eyes. "I need you, Pop. I don't know what to do."
   Suddenly, he heard his father's voice. You aren't a boy anymore, Davy. I'm gone now. You have to be a man.

   What am I supposed to do?

   You do what your Ma tells you to do. Her heart's breaking. Can't you see that?

   But, what if I don't want to go?

   We all have to do things we don't want to do. I didn't want to leave you guys, but I didn't have a choice. It won't be forever. You have to turn it around, Davy. When your life hits the skids, you lean into it. Make it work for you. You'll see, it'll turn out fine in the end.

   I wish I was sure of that. OK, Pop, I'll do what you say. But, I'm coming back when I grow up, and I'm going to be a cop, just like you.

You'll do what's best for you, Davy. I know that. Never forget that I love you, and so does your Ma.

   I won't, Pop. I promise.

   Davy scrubbed his face with his hands, straightened his shoulders, and walked back to his home. He had a lot to do before he left.
   The next morning, he pulled the old cloth suitcase out of his closet and started packing. As he packed, he saw Nicky peeking around the door.
   "Hey, shrimp. What are you hiding from? I ain't gonna bite you."
    Nicky took that as an invitation and jumped on the bed. "How long are you going to be gone, Davy?"
    David shrugged. "I don't know. A long time, I guess."
    "But, you're gonna come back, aren't ya?"
    David grinned. "Of course I'll come back. And maybe you and Ma can visit me sometimes."
    Nicky looked down at his feet. "I don't want you to go, Davy."
    David ruffled his brother's curly hair. "I don't want to go, either, Nick, but I have to. Ma says I got to go."
    Nicky thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up. "I know! We could run away. We could go down to one of those big ships in the harbor, and we could stow away. Or, maybe we could even get jobs."
    "Nah, they won't let kids on those ships by themselves. Besides, I'm not old enough to get a job yet. And, I couldn't take care of you. Anyway, you don't want to make Ma cry, do you? She'd be really sad if both of us were gone."
    "Yeah, I guess you're right." He looked up at his big brother, his eyes swimming with tears. "I'm going to miss you, Davy."
    David's voice was hoarse. "I'm gonna miss you, too, kid."

.

Stoically, Davy put his suitcases into his uncle's car, and hugged his mother and Nicky. Despite his uncle's attempts at conversation, he was quiet on the trip to the airport, preferring to be alone with his thoughts. As he climbed the ramp to the plane, he turned and said a silent good-bye to his home town.
    Once again, he heard his father's voice. Be a man, Davy. I know you can do it.
    As the weeks went by, Davy buried himself in the routine of going to school, and helping out his uncle in his hardware store. At night, he helped his aunt with the household chores, and then went quietly to his room. Al and Rosie watched their nephew climb the stairs and exchanged looks. Al shook his head quietly.
    "We're doing all we can, Rosie. The rest is up to him."
    "I know. He still seems so unhappy. It hurts to see him like that."
    Al snapped his fingers. "I know what he needs. He needs to make some friends. He doesn't know anybody here, yet. I'll take him down to the Y and show him around. I know he likes sports, so maybe he'll meet some nice kids, and get into a game."
    Rosie smiled. "It will do him good to get out for a while. He's much too young to sit around all night, moping."
    That Saturday, Al took David down to the local YMCA and introduced him to one of the counselors. After giving him some money for lunch, Al said good-bye and told David he'd be back later. Left alone once again, David wandered around the club for a while. He soon found an empty gym, with a basketball lying on the floor. He picked the ball up and started dribbling. Davy finally relaxed as he threw the ball into the basket. Before long, he was immersed in a game and forgot about his problems for a while. A voice from the sidelines startled him.
    "Good shot! Can you do it again? That had to be a three-pointer."
    David clutched the ball, self-conscious. "I didn't hear you come in. There's a game down the hall, if you're looking for somebody."
    The tall, blonde youth shook his head. "Nah, I just left. I got tired of playing, and besides, they weren't keeping score. They won't miss me. I'm Ken, by the way."
    David scuffed the floor and looked down. "I'm David. Nice to meet ya."
    "Hey, you want to throw some hoops? Maybe you can give me a few pointers. I'm really not that good at basketball."
    David looked up shyly. "Yeah, if you want to. Come on, you can take it out first."
    The two boys played for a long time, then sat down on the bench, exhausted.
    Davy looked around the gym. "Hey, you want a soda? There's a coke machine in the main hall."
    "A soda? Wouldn't juice or some water be better?"
    Davy snickered. "Juice is for breakfast, and water doesn't have any taste. What are you, some kind of health food nut?"
    Ken looked startled, then grinned at his new friend. "My grandpa says that if you treat your body right, it will treat you right. But, I guess one soda won't hurt."
    Davy slapped him on the back. "That's the spirit. I won't tell if you won't."
    The two boys got their drinks and sat down, watching the other teens playing games. Davy looked over at the blonde.
    "So, are you from around here?"
    "Nah, my dad is in town for some big meeting, so he dropped me off here for a while. We're supposed to see a game tonight, if he gets finished in time. What about you? Do you live in Bay City?"
    "Yeah, I just moved here a few months ago. My Uncle Al thought this would be a good way to meet some guys my age. Are you going to be in town long?"
    "We're supposed to leave in the morning, if my dad gets his business done."
    "What's he do?"
    "He's a lawyer."
    "Wow, that must be neat!"
    "Nah, he's a corporate attorney. He works for this hotshot business back home. He doesn't do any neat stuff like trials. He just pushes paper around all day. What does your dad do?"
    Davy looked down at his soda. "My dad died a few months ago. I've been staying with my Uncle Al and Aunt Rosie for a while."
    "Man, that's rough! I'm sorry. I don't like my dad sometimes, but I don't know what I'd do if he was gone. What happened?"
    "He got killed in the line of duty. He was a cop. I'm going to be a cop, too, someday."
    "He must have been really special. It's not easy, being a cop. I think it's great that you already know what you want to be. I don't know what I want to do, except I know I don't want to be a lawyer."
    "You don't want to be like your dad?"
    "No, all he does is work. Sometimes, I don't think he even likes being a lawyer. He's gone all the time, and he never gets to stay home with me and my mom. The only time he gets to relax is when we go to my grandpa's farm."
    "Your grandpa has a farm? That's cool!"
    Ken grinned. "Yeah, and it has horses and everything. We go out there every Christmas. In the summer, he lets me drive the tractor and help with the plowing. But, I don't think I want to be a farmer. It's really hard, and sometimes the weather turns bad and the crops die."
    "I never thought about it that way. That's too bad. I never thought about being anything else except a cop. Even before my dad got killed, I wanted to be just like him."
    Ken sighed and looked around. "My dad keeps asking me what I want to do with my life, but I just don't know. I want to help people, not just make lots of money. Money isn't everything. I know lots of people that are rich, but aren't really happy. Were you close to your dad?"
    "Yeah. I mean, he worked a lot, but we spent a lot of time together, too. Me and Ma, and Nicky, would go on picnics with my dad in the summer time, and we'd go to games in the fall. We had a lot of good times together."
    "Who's Nicky?"
    "He's my kid brother. He's back home with my mom. He's too young to come out and stay without her."
    "Man, you got more guts than I do."
    Davy looked sideways at his friend. "Why do you say that?"
    "You lost your dad, and you came all the way out here without your mom and your brother. That's a lot to go through. I know guys a lot older that couldn't handle it."
    Davy shrugged, secretly pleased. "Well, my dad said that when your life hits the skids, you lean into it. You gotta do what you gotta do."
    Ken nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He looked around and grinned as he saw a blonde man enter the room. "Hey, there's my dad! He made it!"
    The two boys stood up. Ken smiled at the other boy. "I gotta go. Maybe I'll see you again, sometime. I had a lot of fun today. Thanks."
    Davy smiled back. "You're welcome. Have a good time at the game."
    Ken grinned and walked away, then turned back. "You're gonna make a great cop, I know you will. See ya around sometime."
    Davy nodded to himself. "I hope so, Ken. See ya."
    He was headed back to the gym when a familiar figure caught his eye.
    "Hey, Uncle Al! Here I am."
    "Well, Davy, did you have a good time? Did you meet a new friend?"
    "Yeah, I did. That was Ken. He's from out of town. We played some ball, and hung out for a while." Davy smacked his forehead with his hand as a thought occurred to him. "Oh, man, I don't even know what his last name was! I didn't get his address or anything!"
    Al smiled encouragingly. "Don't worry, Davy. If you're meant to see each other again, you will. Well, are you ready to go? Your Aunt Rosie is fixing pot roast tonight. Your mom said it's your favorite meal."
    Davy's eyes lit up. "Yeah, it is! Come on, Uncle Al, let's go home. I'm starved!"

   Starsky smiled ruefully as he studied the picture. After that day, things had gotten better in his new home. Starsky had finished high school, and joined the Army. Even though he went back to New York for a while, after he was discharged, he still thought of Bay City as his home. When he was accepted at the academy, Starsky knew he wanted to stay in California.
    He looked at the sad figure in the photo. "We sure have come a long way, haven't we, kid?"
    He never mentioned Joe Durniak to his mom after that, and she never told him what kind of hold he had on her. Joe was dead now, so the secret of that time died with him.
    Starsky sighed. "What was it about him, Ma? I don't guess I'll ever know."
    His thoughts turned instead to the blonde youth that had befriended him. Although he touched his life only briefly, David was able to see himself through another's eyes. The losses he had suffered made him strong, and taught him to appreciate life that much more. Maybe it was Fate that had brought him a young friend named Ken, and would soon give him another Ken that would be his partner and his best friend.
    Starsky thought back to that fateful day, and his heart skipped a beat.
    "Could it be? Was it�? Nah, it was just a coincidence. Or, was it?"
    David Starsky smiled to himself, then looked around the room. He sighed again.
    "Well, enough daydreaming for now. This ain't getting the place cleaned up. Time to get back to work. Nobody's going to do it for you."
    He put the photo back in the shoe box, and laid it gently on the shelf.
    "Thanks, Ken, whoever you are. I owe you one."

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