Double Jeopardy: From “The Avenger”
She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed as she
threw her hairbrush down on the sink. Her hair was longer now, so at least she
looked more like a woman than a man in drag, but brown was such a boring color!
Why couldn’t they have let her keep her wig? She loved the long auburn tresses!
They made her feel so sexy. What harm would it have done?
They said her own hair kept her in touch with reality.
The delusions she suffered were because she insisted on living in a dream
world. She laughed and turned away from the mirror. How silly they were! The
wig simply made her feel beautiful, and what was wrong with that? She walked
over to the bed and picked up the stuffed kitten that was propped up on the
pillow. Her sister had given her the toy so she wouldn’t feel so alone and she
appreciated that. But what she really longed for was the strong arms of a man.
She missed the feel of a warm body lying beside her at night.
She hugged the kitten close to her body as she thought of
the men in her life. She had loved all of them, in her own way. The good
looking detective was the last person she had seen before the orderlies had
taken her away. David Starsky was a gentle man. He was different than the
others. He didn’t want to push her into bed. He was concerned for her safety,
and she was convinced he really cared about her. The psychiatrist told her that
she killed the men in her life because she hated the way she was, but Monique
knew different. She didn’t hate the way she was, she hated the way the world
was. When a man slept with a different girl each night, he was only doing what
was natural. But when a woman slept with more than one man, it was a sin. Even
her sister, who she loved more than anyone, condemned her for her lifestyle.
None of them understood, except perhaps David Starsky. Maybe when they let her
out, she would talk to him, and see if there was a chance for them.
She put her head down on the kitten and closed her eyes,
thinking of the dark-haired man. She remembered the song he sang to her, and
wondered if he knew how much it meant to her. If only they had been a “real”
couple, instead of a detective and a protected witness. She heard footsteps
approaching her door, but didn’t bother to get up. Moments later, the door
opened and Frank stuck his head in.
“Hey, Monique, you’re missing the movie! You know, “My
Fair Lady”? You said it was one of your favorites. If you hurry, you won’t miss
much, just the opening credits.”
Monique opened her eyes and smiled fondly at the male
nurse. She had to admit that everyone at the institution was very kind to her.
Frank was a good-looking young man, perhaps a little too young for her, but she
liked the way he admired her body when he thought she wasn’t looking. She put Fluffy
the kitten back on her pillow and stood up. She smiled seductively as she
smoothed her blouse and ran her hands down her hips.
“Thanks, Frank. I forgot all about it.”
She threw another smile over her shoulder as she
sauntered out the door, her hips swaying sensuously. Frank watched her with an
appreciative eye then sighed with regret.
“You’re a nice lady, Monique, but you remind me of the
black widow spiders I used to find in my grandfather’s barn: beautiful but
deadly. I don’t think I’ll be following you into your parlor any time soon.”
He shut the door carefully and went back to his duties.
Monique enjoyed the movie, losing herself in the fantasy. If only she could
find her own Professor Higgins like Eliza Doolittle had! He could teach her how
to act, and then maybe she wouldn’t be an outcast anymore.
After the movie was over, Monique went back to her room.
She hated the solitary life she was leading! If only she could go out for a
drink. She missed the noise and excitement of her favorite bars. Monique was
the type of woman that needed a man to make her feel alive. She wished more
than anything that she could go back to the way things were before Harry came
along.
Monique crawled into bed and covered up. She was
almost asleep when she heard the voice calling her name.
“Monique. Monique! Wake up!”
It was a voice she never thought she would hear again.
Her heart beat wildly as she opened her eyes, and she gasped as she saw the
silhouette standing beside the bed. She sat up, clutching the blanket to her
chest.
“Harry? It can’t be you! The doctors said you weren’t
real, and if I took my medicine you’d go away. I’ve been taking it every day.”
The hoarse voice was sarcastic. “You know that’s not
true. I’ll never go away, Monique.”
She climbed out of bed, shaking her head in disbelief.
She stood face to face with her nightmare. It was like looking in a mirror.
“What do you want, Harry? There aren’t any men here. I’m
all alone. I haven’t done anything wrong!”
“I know what you’re thinking, Monique. It never ends,
does it? Even here, you want them. I’ve told you what would happen if you did
it again!”
“I’m not doing anything,
Harry! I haven’t been with a man since I came here. Please go away! Leave me
alone!”
“I can’t leave you alone. I’m a part of you. Don’t you
know that by now? I killed all of those men for you! I thought it would make
you pure again, but I see now that I was wrong. They weren’t to blame for what
you did, you were! You’ll never change, Monique. There’s only one way to make
you stop.”
Monique threw her hands up in front of her as the knife
glittered in the lamp light. Her screams shattered the silence of the night.
“Harry, NO!!!”
Detectives David Starsky and Ken Hutchinson gazed at the
body underneath the bloody sheet. Hutch turned and glared at the shaken doctor.
“I thought you said she was getting better.”
The psychiatrist in charge of Monique’s case swallowed
convulsively. His face was pale as he looked at his former patient.
“She was! She took her medicine every day. Her therapy
sessions were going well and she was starting to face her dark side. I thought
we were very close to a break through. I can’t believe this happened!”
Starsky looked at the wounds on Monique’s chest. “Where
did she get the knife?”
The doctor spread his hands out in confusion. “I don’t
know! We only have two knives like that in the entire facility and they’re both
kept under lock and key. They’ve been accounted for, both of them. You can
check for yourself if you’d like. I don’t know how she could have gotten
another knife, though. This whole thing is unreal!”
Hutch moved close to the doctor. “And you’re telling me
she did this to herself? How?”
The doctor looked perplexed. “Of course she did this to herself.
Who else would do it? Harry Ashford was her alternate personality. He wasn’t
real. He existed only in her mind.”
Hutch put his finger in the man’s face. “There’s going to be an investigation, Doctor. Bank on it.”
The blond detective turned away from the doctor in
disgust and motioned for the EMT’s to take the body. Starsky stood to one side,
looking at the message on the mirror.
I warned
you, Monique!
Back to A Walk on the Dark Side