His Home Is His Castle

Part 2

 

Linda walked up to their small cottage and listened before unlocking the door. She could hear the TV on the other side and sighed in disappointment. The rain had stopped the night before, so she had been hoping that Jimmy would still be at work. If he’d been home by himself, she knew without a doubt that he was drinking. She took a deep breath and braced her shoulders before opening the door.

            “I’m home, Jimmy!”

            He took a drink of beer and looked blearily up at her. “Where’ve you been?”

            I knew it! He’s already drunk. She kept her voice calm. “I’ve been at work, remember? I help Anita with the lunch rush, between 11 and 2.”

            He sneered at her. “I didn’t think drunks ate lunch.”

            You should know, shouldn’t you? She tried to smile. “Well, a lot of them do.”

            She reached into her pocket. “Look, I made fifty bucks in tips, just in a few hours! I don’t have to work tomorrow afternoon, so I’ll get us some steaks. We can have a nice dinner, just the two of us, before I have to go to work.”

            “Yeah, well, I’m almost out of beer, so you’d better not spend all of that on two lousy steaks. Anyway, that’s tomorrow and I’m hungry now. What’s for supper?”

            “I’ll fix us some spaghetti and garlic toast. It won’t take long to fix. How does that sound?”

            He glowered at her. “I don’t care what you fix, just stop yakking and get in the kitchen and fix it! And bring me another beer!”

            She bit back an angry retort and headed for the kitchen. She returned a few moments later and sat an opened bottle of beer on the small table beside him. He grunted without looking up and handed her the empty bottle. Keeping her expression neutral, she threw the bottle away and went back into the kitchen. She put the pasta on and started the sauce then ran into the bedroom to change her clothes. As she looked in her closet, she saw that she only had enough clean clothes for that night. Linda sighed to herself. She’d have to find the time tomorrow to do the laundry. Suddenly, the fifty dollars that she’d been proud of a few moments ago seemed like a paltry amount. Thankfully, it was Friday night, so she should bring home more money after her shift.

            Why did you just work half a day, Jimmy? You’re always putting me down because I don’t bring home enough money. Why can’t you help out once in a while? But she knew better than to say anything. It would only make him angry.

            As she fixed the spaghetti and endured another meal with her husband, Linda fantasized about a life without Jimmy. Anita said she got out and she has two sons to support. I only have myself to worry about. Why can’t I get away? Oh, God, I don’t want to live like this any more!  Then she chastised herself for dreaming. You’re trapped. You don’t have any way out. How are you supposed to make it on your own with a part-time job? Stop dreaming, kid. You’re only making yourself miserable.

            By the time she left for work, Jimmy was nodding in his chair. With any luck, he would pass out completely before she came home and she would get a decent night’s sleep. As she walked back to Huggy’s, she blinked back her tears. Her whole life was measured in snatches of peace and quiet. Lately, the only time she had that was when Jimmy was asleep or gone, and when she was at Huggy’s.

            As usual on Friday nights, the place was hopping by nine o’clock. Linda lost herself in her job, forgetting her problems for a few hours. When Starsky and Hutch came in toward the end of her shift, her chest tightened. But the worry she felt only lasted for a moment. They seemed friendly enough, and genuinely concerned about her. So, instead of shying away from them, she smiled when she took their order and chatted with them for a while. They didn’t mention Jimmy or their marital problems and she enjoyed the relaxed banter between the two friends. It wasn’t until the last of the customers left that they approached her again.

            The two detectives moved to the bar and sat while Anita and Linda cleared the dishes from the tables. Starsky smiled over at them and teased them in a good-natured tone.

            “You know if business stays this good, Huggy just might need another waitress. Then you ladies can start a union and negotiate for a raise.”

            Huggy looked up from behind the bar. “Now, watch it, Starsk, don’t go giving my girls these high falutin’ ideas. They don’t need a union, because they have me.”

            They all laughed then Starsky turned to Linda. “We talked to someone you used to work with at the diner. She said to tell you hello and she misses you.”

            Linda looked surprised. “Oh, who did you talk to?”

            Starsky thought back. “Her name tag said Debbie.”

            “Oh, that must be Debbie Walsh. She’s really sweet. She was really mad when Harry let me….” She broke off and turned away.

            Hutch’s voice was gentle. “We know what happened, Linda. Debbie told us that Harry fired you because the customers were uncomfortable. Harry knew what was going on, but when he pushed you about it, you weren’t honest with him.”

            Linda’s blue eyes pleaded with him. The sunglasses were gone, but the make-up she wore couldn’t hide the fading bruises on her eye.

            “Please, you don’t know what you’re getting into. I need this job! I like Huggy and I like Anita. Please leave me alone!”

            Starsky looked steadily at her. “And you thought that with the dim lighting, people wouldn’t see underneath the make-up and dark glasses. Besides, after a few beers, most of your customers can’t see past their noses. So, you figured you were safe.”

            “Yes, I’m safe! I have a few hours of peace, and I don’t have to think about the mess my life is in. You can’t help me. I know you mean well, but you’ll only make things worse.”

            Starsky laid his hand on hers. “We can help you, Linda. You don’t have to stay with him. A marriage license doesn’t give him the right to hurt you. You can get out. Other women have done it, and you can, too. We’ll help you, if you’ll let us.”

            A single tear ran down her face. “And where am I supposed to go? I don’t have anybody but Jimmy! Look at me! I’m thirty years old. What man is going to want me? And what kind of man am I going to meet in places like this?”

            Anita walked up to her. “You can stand on your own, Linda! I did it! Jimmy has got you so beat down that you don’t realize how strong you are. My God, how long have you been supporting that bum? Is the few bucks that he brings in worth the Hell you’re going through?”

            She looked around at her small audience. “You say you can help me. I’ve been married for fourteen years. If I leave now, and try to get out on my own, what if Jimmy comes after me? Are you going to protect me for the rest of my life? Let’s say that I press charges the next time he hits me. How long will he be in jail? Can you keep him there forever?”

            Starsky and Hutch looked at each other. Starsky shook his head. “No, but we can keep him there long enough for you to get out. There are people you can go to for help, Linda. They’ll help you get a restraining order, and then they’ll help you start over someplace else, someplace where Jimmy can’t get to you.”

            She wiped at her tears angrily. “You make it sound so easy!”

            Hutch shook his head. “No, it won’t be easy, but you can get away, if you want to.”

            She smiled sadly at him. “You don’t know Jimmy. He won’t give up. Some day, he’ll find me, and it'll start all over again. It’s a nice dream, but that’s all it is: a dream.”

            She turned away and started clearing the rest of the tables. The others looked at each other, shrugging helplessly. Then Anita started to help her while the men looked on.

            An hour later, Linda slid silently into bed beside her husband. As she fell asleep, another tear slid down her face. It’s just a dream. And dreams never come true.

 

            The freedom she longed for seemed even father away by the next day. She looked out the window at Jimmy as he stood by the grill they'd bought when times were better, a beer in one hand and a book of matches in the other. Maybe I'll get lucky one of these days and he'll blow himself up. Oh, why did I think we could have a quiet afternoon at home? We haven't had one of those days in so long that I've forgotten what it's like.

Jimmy threw the lit match on the fluid-soaked charcoal and jumped back as the flames rose out of the grill. He laughed drunkenly then looked toward the window.

"Hey, Linda, get those potatoes out here! The fire's almost ready!"

"I'm coming, Jimmy!" She examined the three potatoes carefully before wrapping them in foil. Jimmy hated potatoes with "eyes" in them and had retaliated before by throwing the hot vegetables at her when he wasn't satisfied.

While Jimmy tended to the steaks, Linda fixed the salad and shucked the corn on the cob that she'd found at the small vegetable stand on the corner. She scrubbed each ear meticulously, making sure she got every strand of silk off the corn. She let her mind wander as she enjoyed the few minutes of peace.

If Jimmy hadn't lost that job, we'd have a couple of kids by now. They'd be playing out in the yard, staying far away from the fire, of course. Then we'd have a real sit-down dinner at our picnic table, and maybe have a game of badminton afterwards. She shook her head fiercely. You're dreaming, girl! Kids would only make things worse. Get your head out of the clouds! You're never going to have more than what you have now!

Soon the steaks and potatoes were done and Linda had the table set. The picnic table she'd dreamed of earlier had never sat in their back yard. Jimmy hated eating outside because of the flies and other pests, so she knew better than to ever ask for one. Instead, the same set of mismatched dishes and bowls sat on the secondhand table as they had for years. The fine china she stored in the hope chest her mother bought her had been the target of Jimmy's tantrums early on, and now only a few cherished pieces remained. Those treasures were still hidden in that chest, but all "hope" was gone.

Linda sat quietly as they ate dinner. Jimmy ate with all of his attention focused on his food, stopping only to take a drink of beer to wash it down. To Linda, food was simply nourishment, something she needed to keep going. The constant fear of setting off another tantrum from Jimmy kept butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Finally, she sighed in relief as her husband left the table and wandered into the living room, a new beer in his hands.

She cleared the table and started water running in the sink for the dirty dishes. As she put the leftovers in the refrigerator, she glanced up at the clock and moaned under her breath. The potatoes had taken longer to cook than she'd planned and if she didn't hurry, she'd be late for work. It would have been easier to rinse the dishes and do them when she came home, but Jimmy wouldn't tolerate that. So she washed them as quickly as she could and still get them clean. Even drunk, Jimmy could spot a crumb left on a plate, and they really couldn't afford to lose any more dishes. She was drying the last of the silverware and putting it away when Jimmy yelled at her.

"Hey, Linda, bring me another beer!"

"I'll be there in a second, Jimmy. I'm putting the dishes away."

She frantically put the silverware away, making sure they went in the right compartments in the drawer. A place for everything and everything in its place, as my mother used to say. Well, I know where I'd like to put you, Jimmy Brewer!

"Linda, what the Hell's taking you so long? I said, bring me a damned beer!"

"Hold on, would you? I told you I'd be there in a second!" Linda stopped cold and closed her eyes. "Oh, God."

She shrank against the counter when she heard him get up. "Please, Jimmy, not now! Not now!"

She couldn't stop the whimper as he walked into the kitchen. His eyes were two pinpoints of fury.

"What did you say?"

She rushed to the refrigerator. "I'm sorry, Jimmy! I was trying to finish the dishes. I'm going to be late for work. I'm sorry! I'll get your beer right now."

She yanked open the refrigerator door, but before she could reach inside, he slammed the door shut.

"You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that. I don't give a damn if you're late for work! You think that pissy-assed little job is more important than me?"

"No, Jimmy. I'm sorry! We just- we need the money!"

Her words only inflamed him. "What, you're telling me now that I can't support my family? I bring the paychecks home! You're just a lousy barmaid in a run-down bar. I make more money in one hour than you do in a whole day!"

She backed up against the counter. "I know, Jimmy. But it's been raining a lot lately, and we need the money to tide us over."

"And that's my fault, right? I can control the weather?"

"No, I didn’t mean that. But I can help out until the weather gets better. Then when you go back to work full-time, I can save for extra stuff. You keep saying you want a new TV, don't you? I - I can save my tips and get us a new one, a big, color TV. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

She ducked as he threw the empty bottle in his hand. He grabbed her with both hands and shook her violently.

"If I want a new TV, I'll get one myself. I'm not going to let a woman support me!"

"I didn't mean that! I know you can. I just meant I can help. I just - I need this job!"

He glared at her with blood-shot eyes. "You mean you want this job! You like sashaying around a bunch of drunks, bums pinching your ass and squeezing your tits."

"It's not like that. I don't let them touch me. The tips are good, Jimmy! I can handle the drunks."

He grabbed her hair and yanked her head back. "And what's that supposed to mean? Your old man's a drunk, so you can handle the ones at the bar? Just because I have a couple of beers now and then mean I'm a drunk, just like those losers?"

She gasped as he back-handed her across the face. "No, that's not what I meant! Please, Jimmy, let me go! I have to go to work. I don't want to get fired. We need the money! Please!"

He punched her in the stomach, hard, and then stepped back. "Go, go to work! Go back to your precious bar! But you'd better bring home some decent money for once! Go on, get out of here!"

Linda ran into their bedroom and snatched up her clothes then rushed into the bathroom. She dried the tears that were streaming down her face and examined her reflection closely in the mirror. The hand-print that Jimmy had left on her cheek was slowly fading, but her eyes were still red-rimmed from crying. Her stomach still hurt from the punch he'd thrown, but at least the sore muscles weren't visible. Quickly, she washed her face and dried it with a towel. It only took a few minutes to apply her makeup then she dressed and ran out the back door. She whispered a prayer of thanks that she only lived a few blocks from The Pits and knew Huggy wouldn't question her if she was only a few minutes late. As she sneaked in the back door, Linda pushed all thoughts of Jimmy from her mind. She would be safe from his torment for a few hours, at least. Please let him pass out before I get home. I can't take another fight tonight.

As Linda waited on the throng of customers, lifting trays heavy with pitchers of beer and mugs, she could feel the pull of the abused muscles in her stomach. She was glad that Huggy wasn't close enough to see her wince in the dim lighting, and Anita was too busy with her own rowdy bunch to notice. She was ashamed to admit that she felt an enormous relief when Starsky and Hutch didn't stop by for an after-work drink or a game of pool. Though she knew they only wanted to help, she didn't need the added stress of another interrogation.

The rest of the night went too quickly and before she knew it, the last of the stragglers filed out the door and the bar was empty. She helped Anita clean the tables and stayed to share a snack with her and Huggy. Finally, she couldn't put off going home any longer and trudged back to her house. She unlocked the door and tip-toed into her bedroom. Jimmy was snoring loudly and she slipped into bed without waking him up. As Linda fell asleep, her last thought was she wished he'd never wake up.

 

The sun was shining when she woke up the next morning, so Linda happily packed Jimmy's lunch while he was in the shower. After a hearty breakfast, she stood at the door and kissed him good-bye. With any luck, he'd be gone the whole day, giving her a much needed break. Linda flew through the housework, determined to have the chance to relax before she went to work. She was almost done with the bathroom when she heard a knock at the door.

"Anita, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be at work by now."

The brunette shook her head. "Huggy called me a few minutes ago. The water pipes in the bathroom broke sometime last night and when he came in, there was water all over the floor. He called a plumber, but it'll be a couple of hours before he can get to the bar, so we'll be opening late. Huggy's fit to be tied, but there isn't anything he can do about it. I was going to stop at that thrift store that opened last week and thought you might like to come, too."

"Oh, I don't know. I really don't have any extra money to spend."

Anita pouted slightly. "Come on, Linda. Jimmy's gone to work, right? It's a beautiful day and there's no reason for you to be stuck in the house. Anyway, you don't have to buy anything. I just love looking in thrift stores. You never know what you'll come across."

"Well, I guess I could go for a little while. As long as I don't buy anything, Jimmy doesn't have to know. OK, let me get dressed for work and we can go. Come on; you can keep me company while I change clothes."

The two women spent an enjoyable morning rummaging through the new store. Linda found a couple of shirts and three pairs of slacks that she could wear to work, but balked when Anita suggested she buy them.

The blonde woman bit her lip pensively. "I don't know, Anita. There's no way I can call Jimmy and ask him if I can buy these, and we honestly don't have the extra money."

"Linda, they're only a quarter a piece! Jimmy's not going to miss a dollar and some change and you'll make that up in tips tonight. And you're buying them for work, right? It's not like you're throwing the money away."

Linda looked at the clothes in her hand. "Well, that's true, but if Jimmy sees them, I'll have to explain where I got them. I know! Would you take them home with you for a couple of days? Then I can tell Jimmy about this store and ask him if I can get some new work clothes. If he knows they only cost a quarter, he shouldn't mind."

"Damn it, Linda, it's your money, too! Why should you ask his permission before you spend a measly dollar? Oh, don't look at me like that. I'll take them home and you can let me know when it's OK." She thought for a minute then snapped her fingers. "I know, why don't I pay for them and you tell Jimmy it was a gift from me? Then you won't be spending any of his money."

"No, that'll only make things worse! He's really sensitive about supporting us. He'll look at it as charity. Please just do it my way. It's for the best."

"All right, I'll do whatever you say. I still don't see why it’s such a big deal, but I don't want to get you into any trouble. Let's pay for these and get to work. The plumber should be finished by now."

Linda smiled at her friend. "Thanks, Anita, I really appreciate this. I know how you feel about Jimmy, but I really don't need any more hassles."

The plumber was putting his supplies in the van when the two women arrived at The Pits. Huggy was mopping the water off the floor so they put their belongings in the back and helped get the bar ready to open. Despite their best efforts, it was another two hours before the hungry horde of customers were allowed in the door. Linda and Anita rushed to take all the orders while Huggy filled endless pitchers of beer and Haimie covered his grill with hamburger patties.

When Linda finally got a look at the clock above the bar, she gasped. "Please tell me that clock's wrong!"

Huggy glanced up and shook his head. "Nope, it's right. What's the matter?"

"I'll be an hour late getting out of here! Jimmy will be home soon and I still have to cook supper. Is it okay if I leave now, Huggy? I really don't want to make him mad."

"Linda, why don't you let Starsky and Hutch help you? You don't have to live like this. One of these days, that man is going to kill you!"

"Please, Huggy, I don't have time to get into this right now! Can I go?"

Huggy sighed. "OK, I know when I'm wasting my breath. Go on; Anita can finish cleaning up. You just be careful, girl!"

Linda pulled her apron off and tossed it on the bar. "Thanks, Huggy, I'll see you later!"

She ran the few blocks to their house, which earned curious looks from the other people on the street. After she unlocked the door, she ran to the bedroom and changed her clothes and threw them in the dirty laundry hamper. She dashed into the kitchen and grabbed the chicken out of the refrigerator.

"Oh, why did I promise him fried chicken tonight? It would be so much easier if we could just have sandwiches and soup, but he'd want to know why I changed my mind. I don't have the strength for another fight. Please, God, give me some time to get this done."

She was still preparing their meal when she heard the front door open. Hurriedly, she took a beer from the refrigerator and walked into the living room, a cheerful smile pasted on her face.

She kissed him and handed him the beer. "Hi, Honey, how was your day? Supper's almost ready."

"I don't want to talk about it. That new foreman is a real prick. All he does all day long is look over our shoulders to see what we're doing. There ain't nothing wrong with his back and if he'd help a little, we'd get done a lot sooner."

"I'm sorry you had a bad day. But you've got time to take a long, hot shower, and then you can watch TV for a while. I'll let you know as soon as supper's done. It's fried chicken, just like I told you."

Jimmy looked suspiciously at her but simply took another swig of beer and walked away. Linda breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the water running in the shower then went back to the kitchen to finish cooking. She watched the chicken carefully, making sure the batter browned evenly on each piece.

            She jumped when Jimmy's voice came from behind her. "Hey, where's my blue tee shirt? I thought you just did laundry."

            Linda turned to him. "I did, but you wore that shirt yesterday. I didn't have time to do any laundry today."

            His eyes narrowed. "You didn't have any time? What the Hell did you do all day?"

            Linda backed up a step. "I – I worked today, remember? I cleaned house this morning and then I went to work. I'll wash your shirt out in the sink after dinner and you can wear it tomorrow."

            "I want to wear it now. Why couldn't you wash it out while you were cleaning house? You're some hotshot barmaid at work, but you can't do more than one thing at a time when you're home?"

            "It's only one shirt, Jimmy. You have lots of others. I promise I'll wash it after supper."

Her eyes widened as she smelled something burning. With a cry, she turned back to the stove. Hastily, she turned off the flame under the skillet and moved it to the back.

Jimmy yelled. "Now look what you did! You let the chicken burn! What am I supposed to eat now?"

"I'm sorry, Jimmy! I didn't mean to. I'll fix you a hamburger steak to go with the potatoes and green beans. It will only take a few minutes."

"I don't want a hamburger! I want a real meal! I worked all day long and I'm hungry."

"I'll make it thick and make gravy to go over it. I'll get some more chicken and we can have that tomorrow."

He advanced on her. "Tomorrow, tomorrow, everything's tomorrow with you! Can't you do anything right?"

Linda tried to get away. "Please, Jimmy, don't hit me again! I didn't do it on purpose. Give me a break, please!"

"I'll give you a break, you lousy bitch! I work hard all day and I have the right to a decent meal when I come home!"

Something inside her snapped. "I work, too! I clean your house, I wash your clothes and I cook your meals! And I work, too! I give you every penny that I make and I rush home to take care of you. You don't do anything when you get home. You watch TV and drink beer and I wait on you hand and foot! I'm sorry I let your supper burn but it was an accident! I was doing fine until you started complaining about your shirt. Supper would be done already if you had just left me alone!"

With a roar, he grabbed her by the hair and slapped her across the face. The force of the blow sent her flying across the room, leaving a clump of her hair in his fist. He followed her and yanked her off the floor, punching her in the stomach and ribs over and over again.

She cowered against the wall. "Please stop, Jimmy! You're hurting me. Please don't hit me any more!"

Jimmy towered over her and clenched his fist, but before he could land another blow there was a knock at the door.

He growled at her. "You stay here! And don't say a word."

Linda slumped to the floor, sobbing. She heard Jimmy open the door then heard another voice.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but we got a call from one of your neighbors and they thought there might be some trouble. Is there a problem, son?"

"Oh, no, sir, there's no problem at all. The little wife got distracted and let supper burn, and I guess I lost my temper a little. I worked hard today and really had the taste for some fried chicken. But everything's fine now. You know how it is. I'm sorry you had to come out for nothing, but I've got it all under control."

"Is your wife OK? Could we talk to her for a minute? It's for our report, you know."

"Sure, she's fine, but you can talk to her if you have to. Linda, would you come here? This nice officer needs to talk to you."

Linda wiped her face the best she could then walked to the door and stood beside Jimmy. He put his arm around her shoulder and drew her close. The policeman standing on the porch couldn't see his hand as he squeezed her tightly.

"Are you OK, ma'am? The neighbors said they heard you cry out."

Linda glanced nervously at her husband. "I'm okay, really. I slipped on some grease on the floor and fell. I'll be fine, honestly. I'm sorry you had to make a trip out for nothing."

The officer looked skeptical but nodded reluctantly. "Well, if you're sure, I'll be going now. I'm sorry I bothered you folks."

Jimmy smiled. "It's no bother at all, officer. It's good to know you're looking out for us regular folk. You really make a guy feel safe."

The policeman fidgeted slightly. "That's a nice thing to say, sir. Have a good evening." As he started to walk away, he turned back. "If you need any help, we're only a phone call away."

As soon as the patrol car drove away, Jimmy slammed the door and pushed Linda away.

"I can't believe those nosy neighbors called the cops again! What we do is none of their business. Now you get in there and clean up that mess and fix me some supper! I said, now!"

Instead of doing as he said, Linda marched to their bedroom and pulled a suitcase out of the closet. With a determined expression on her face, she started putting her meager belongings in the suitcase. She knew Jimmy was standing in the doorway but refused to look at him.

She could hear the contempt in his voice when he spoke. "What do you think you're doing?"

Linda swiped at the tears on her face as she turned to face him. "I'm leaving you, Jimmy. I can't take this any more. I used to love you more than anything else in the world. I was so happy when you asked me to marry you. I thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives. But as hard as I try, I can't feel anything but fear. I walk on egg shells around you and I jump every time you come near me." She shook her head slowly. "It's over, Jimmy. I don't love you any more."

Jimmy picked up the suitcase and sent it flying, scattering clothes all over the floor. "You aren't going anywhere! You're my wife. You're not going to make a laughing stock out of me by leaving me. If you ever get the idea in your head again to walk out on me, I'll follow you and break your fool neck! Now get in there and fix me something to eat!"

Linda felt her resolve crumble as he blocked the doorway. She didn't try to hide the tears as she put her clothes back in the drawers and the suitcase back in the closet. Tentatively, she walked past Jimmy and into the kitchen. She threw the ruined chicken in the garbage and took some hamburger meat out of the refrigerator. As she worked it into a thick patty, she gazed up at Jimmy.

"I'll fix your supper and then I'm going to work. If I don't go, Huggy will know something's wrong and he might even call the police. They might wonder what's going on if they have to come out here twice in one night."

"Well, if you're going to work you'd better hurry up with dinner. And you tell that punk you call a boss that if he sticks his black nose in my business, I'll break his scrawny neck. Then I'll make you wish you'd never been born."

Linda watched him take another beer out of the fridge then stalk out the door. "I've been wishing that for years."

 

 

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