| PART IX BY STACEY Chad: That�s right.......I�m an impostor. Jerry: (worriedly) Then who are you ? And where�s the real Chad? (The front door suddenly slams and in walks the real Chad. He strolls into the kitchen, and grabs a banana.) Real Chad: Hi. Jerry: Where were you? And do you know who the hell this is?! (points to Chad�s double) Real Chad: (exasperated) I was at Taco Bell. (examines his double) Hmmm.........come to think of it, he does look familiar. Almost like.......Darth Vader! Doug: (rolls his eyes) Chad...... Stacey: (frantic) So if this isn�t the real Chad, then who have I been trying to kiss for the past 24 hours? Real Chad: (yawns) I don�t know about you guys, but I�m tired. Let�s figure this out in the morning. Jenna: Good idea. It IS four in the morning. Fake Chad, you can sleep on the floor. I�ll get you a sleeping bag. Real Chad, you might not want to sleep in Stacey�s room because you don�t even know her, so you and Doug can share, and Mickey goes with Stacey. Stacey: Excuse me? Mickey: (in the weird little �heh heh heh� laugh he has) Yo, bitch, you and me are roomies! Stacey: Um, right. Let�s move your stuff out, and Chad�s in. (Everybody walks upstairs, except Mickey and Jerry) Jerry: (yawns) I was gonna kick your ass tonight for sleeping with Erin, but I�ll wait �til morning. Mickey: (sleepily) See you then. (They go upstairs to sleep) THE NEXT MORNING (Stacey opens her eyes and rolls over to see Mickey, still sleeping.) Stacey: (whispers) Ewww.......he�s drooling all over my pillow! (she climbs out of bed and heads down the hall to the bathroom. She opens the bathroom door, slips in and closes it behind her. Suddenly, Chad steps out of the shower.) Stacey: AHHHHHHH! Chad: AHHHHHHH! (Luckily for Chad, but unluckily for Stacey, he is wearing a towel) Stacey: (embarrassed) I�m SO sorry! I didn�t know anyone was in here! I�ll leave. (she grabs for the door handle and jiggles it. It won�t budge.) Chad: (who has his hands covering his eyes, figuring is he can�t see Stacey, she can�t see him) What�s going on? Stacey: (panicking) The door won�t move! We�re stuck! Chad: (eyes still closed but he takes away his hands) Let me try. (wiggles the knob, but it�s still stuck) Hmmm....that�s not good. Stacey: What are we gonna do? By the way, are you the real Chad or the fake Chad? Chad: I�m pretty sure I�m the real Chad, but maybe not. What does the real Chad look like? Stacey: You..... Chad: Then it�s probably me. Stacey: Let�s just yell for help and we can worry about who you are later...... If no one finds us, we could be stuck here for DAYS! Chad: (scared) One time, I saw this movie where this guy got stuck in a room with some other people and they were running out of food so they had to eat each other and all the guys getting eaten are like ahhhh and the guys who are eating are like yuck because there friends didn�t taste good but you know what once I saw this guy with no hand and he was like telling me how a shark ate his hand...... Stacey: (excited)....you know what? I had a pet shark once and his name was Sharky but then he bit off my brothers head and he as like ahhhhhh except he didn�t have a head and I�m like eww �cause my shark ate my brothers head..... Chad: ....Once, my dad was shooting our dog �cause she had rabies, he missed and it hit my brother Rick and he�s like ahhhh and blood was like everywhere goin� spshhhhhhhh......... (they keep talking but it was all stupid so you probably don�t wanna hear it) MEANWHILE, EVERYONE ELSE(Jerry, Jenna,QT, Doug, fake Chad) HAS GONE TO THE PNE QT: (trying to look macho) Jenna, want me to win you one of those stuffed bunnies? Jenna: That would be so cool! QT: Ummm....how �bout that one? (he points to one of those little booths, and this one you have to knock the bottles down with a ball to win a prize) Jenna: Sure! I want the big one! QT: Okay! (he gives some money to the booth guy and starts throwing balls)(like a girl) MEANWHILE JERRY DOUG AND FAKE CHAD ARE SITTING ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND. Jerry: So why couldn�t you tell us who you really were around QT and Jenna....you�re gonna have to tell them who you are eventually. Fake Chad: (nervously) Well, I just didn�t want to say it in front of so many people. I�m kind of shy, and this is something really important. Doug: What are you trying to say, Fake Chad? Fake Chad: I�m not really Chad. Jerry: (rolling his eyes) We already figured that out, remember? Fake Chad:(turns to Jerry) I�m your son. BACK IN THE HOUSE: Chad:(delighted) You are SO cool, Stacey! You like all the things I do! Ice cream and kittens and see-doos and Star Wars........you�re the best! (he blushes, suddenly shy again) Stacey: (smiling) I like you too... Mickey: You�re BOTH in there? Yo, Chad, what�s up with that? Chad: (mumbles) Nothing. Can you get us out of here, Mickey? (Mickey charges into the door and bounces off.) Mickey: DAMN! That door hurts, yo? Maybe I should try again. (he runs into the door again, and falls to the ground in pain)(groaning) Mickey P be fine in a minute, y�all, don�t be worrying about me now. Stacey: Oh, here�s the problem! The door was locked! No wonder we couldn�t open it! (the door clicks, and out steps Stacey in her PJ�s and Chad still wrapped in a towel) Mickey, are you okay? (they bend down to look at Mickey, who�s sprawled on the floor holding his shoulder) Chad:(to Stacey) You know what? That�s EXACTLY what I looked like when I broke my leg, except I didn�t break my leg, I lost my tooth instead! Stacey: And one time, when I was 12, I saw a guy who broke his leg and he was all like oww and everyone else is like ewww and we�re all like man, he broke his leg! Chad: And one time..... Mickey: Can we PLEASE get back to Mickey P, here? Stacey: Oh, right. Let�s take him to the hospital! Chad: OK! BACK AT THE PNE (QT is still throwing balls. Jenna looks at her watch as QT misses again. Suddenly Jerry comes running over, Doug and Fake Chad trying to hold him back, but he breaks free and screams at QT and Jenna) Jerry: I�M A FATHER! (QT whirls around, and while he does this, accidently lets go of the ball and hit Jenna in the head. She crumples to the ground, unconscious.) Doug: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! JENNNNNNAAAAAA!! Quick! I�ll have to give her mouth to mouth! (bends over) QT: No, Doug, I�ll do it� I�m her favourite! Jerry: Oops�Why don�t we take her to the hospital instead? <TO BE CONTINUED> |
| part 10 |