She came home from school
Flying
As I'm floating here in midair
He Loved
She stumbled here
I Am
I read
I Feel
I have friends
Insecurities
In the day
Wasn't Enough
I look into the mirror
Inside
I was lost
Pretender
You search the room
The End?
She ran
Unclear
As I'm sittin� here by the phone
Wasted Lives
There goes another one
What If I
What if I
Unsolved Mystery
Shadowed by the moon's own hand
Dead
My flesh
Silence
We sat there
My Fault
Why do you hate me
A Difference
What would you do
Behind the Smile
She was never
Knowing Me
Full of laughter
Don't Care
I don't care
Stupid
Stupid
The Girl Behind the Mirror
The girl behind the mirror
Don't Bury Me
Don�t bury me
Catch Me
Who will catch me when I fall?
Forgetting You
I can sit beneath the willow
Why
And he wonders
Hiding
Window opens
Belonging to Death
I need it
Hope
The wind blows, but there is not a sound.
Existing
Tears fall and I don't know why
Strong
I fight their wars
Life
Fragile as a pond
Embers of Hope
My face burns
Remember Me
I can't live in this world any longer
Control
Don�t know what's just thoughts
Is This Me
This girl I see
Love Me
Can you love me
Inches Away
Walking in the middle of the road
Leave Me
You won�t leave me here
Reflection's Eyes
Her eyes�
This is a Girl
This is a girl
Unimportant
What they say
Destiny's Door
Knock knock
The Knife
There's a knife
Yellow Lines
I walk the yellow line
Nighty Night
Go to bed
Roses' Pain
Pinpricks under my skin
They die and I am left alone
I hear their voices
Time Passes
So slowly the time passes
Dear Teacher
I've tried to be happy
I am not in my best spirits
My mind is how it used to be
I'm tired constantly
I can't seem to get myself to do anything
I get irritated more
I cry when I don't need to
Can you see me?
Dancing
Heart is the drum
Missed: The Lost Poem
I wanted to put a note here about this poem. I found this poem in pieces in my room. I pieced them back together and am now putting it here on my site. This was probably written about 2 years ago.
I miss the way you looked at me
But why did you leave me like that
I took it for granted
In the end I learned something
A tragedy can bring
No One
I never had someone to run to
How do you want me to lie today?
When someone finds out the truth
I'm not lyin' when I tell you
Are you fine now, are you done
I know you can hear their pain
Sunshine and Smiles
Sunshine and smiles
What Life Is
Life is a cave
Life is a playground
Life is a shadow
Life is a rainbow
Life is a meteor shower
Life is a rocking chair
Life is a grave
Follow Your Heart: song lyrics
follow your heart, boy
Died Years Ago
I died a thousand years ago
Ignored
you ignored my fears
you ignored the blood
no one understood
you wish you were blind
See Me
I shoved the cuts
what do you take me for
something you had to have known
I am my own
My Skin
to fill my skin
Drowning
drowning in a vat of nothing
Draw a Rose
draw me a pretty rose
In Your Eyes
Ran to her room
not to be heard from
until late afternoon
No one knew
what she did
what she thought
what she said
The family she had
legally that is
did not even notice
her life was not bliss
She did not know why
she felt that way
there was no reason
when she was happy all day
As soon as she walked
through that front door
all that she wished
was that she could soar
Above the clouds
free like a bird
instead of stuck on the ground
never to be heard
High above the sea of clouds
I can tell there's a place somewhere near
How I wish I could be there now
It's a calm and peaceful time
With the setting sun ahead
Purple skies surround me
I could've sworn that I was dead
But I'm still here as you can see
And I'm not going anywhere
I don't think I would have minded though
If they let me spend time here
fell over there
He can see the marks
On the ground from her tears
Still she ran
Never forgetting
Where she was to go
and hoped to be getting
Freedom she whispered
He heard her echoes
Never seeing her face
But listening to the bellows
The rain cried for her
The thunder screamed
weeping forever
or so it seemed
He searched all his life
for just one glance
When the rain stopped
He knew he missed his chance
She thought she was unloved
maybe she was
He did not think so
but that was because
He loved her
Not because I like the stories
But because they tell my greatest desires
I am a Dreamer
I laugh
Not because I am happy
But because it makes others smile
I am a Peace-Maker
I comfort others
Not because they are down
But because I can't bear to see them sad
I am Sensitive
I change
Not because others want me to
But because I want to
I am Me
But they don't seem
To understand me
I feel...
I smile and laugh
But it isn't
Because I am happy
I feel...
My eyes water
When no one is around
But I do not cry
I feel...
Alone
you will see me
and will say
that I'm simply
fully into everything
But at night
when we're talking
you can tell
that I'm nothing
that I ever truly seemed to be
I am full of insecurities
and I put on this mask
so you can't see
Will you run
now that you know I'm not perfect?
I don't like what I see
Too short and too skinny
No wonder no one likes me
Everyone thinks I'm happy
They don't see through my disguise
They don't see me at night
With tears in my eyes
I wonder if I could vanish
Just disappear from this earth
No one needs me
There was no point to my birth
I stare at the glass
So smooth and shiny
I press the edge against my skin
And cut my wrists slowly
I laugh insanely
At the pain
I deserve this
My death is everybody's gain
Flowing red
All over my arm
I love this
Causing myself harm
I want to die
I need to die
I have no point
No need for lies
God is unreal
He didn't send me
Unless I'm here for torture
His ecstasy
I'm slowly slipping
It's almost done
I can't believe it
I'm almost gone
I ask that certain someone
To please forgive
You were the only reason
I had to live...
But it wasn't enough
but now am found,
but I can't see
why I don't make a sound
You're holding me
safe in your arms,
but why can't I
look into your eyes
I try to run away,
but hold you tight
Just why do these fears
seem to come at night
I am so confused,
lost in the dark,
so why should you
care who I am
inside
Looking for the pretender
But he is not easy to find
He is wearing a false smile
Says the description
Laughing a fake laugh
You look around the room
You don't see any fake smiles or laughs
They all seem to be having a wonderful time
Then you turn around
To see what you find
But there is the pretender
Staring back at you
not knowing where
but she had to get away
It was too powerful
controlling
always there
When would it leave her alone?
'Never' was whispered
There was no away
It wanted her
and it always got
what it wanted
When would it stop?
'Never' was whispered
She was running forever
going nowhere
ending in the beginning
It would never stop
always continuing
everything connecting
No hope
All fear
confusion
complication
The end?
Never
waitin� for you to call
I'm wonderin� why I'm alone
and why did I have to fall
Why do I waste my time
when I know you can't see
that without you in my life
there's no chance to be happy
You laugh and you flirt with me
but I don't know if it's true
So if you can make it clear to me
I'll know what to do
wasted
You could have been happy
But you chose not to be
Instead dwelling on the past
when you should be looking ahead
You could have done something
with your life
Why you chose this
I do not know
But know this
I will not go down the same path
I will be somebody
I will do something with my life
I will love
be successful
But most of all
I will try
I will not let my life be
wasted
wasn't there
after you said
see you later?
Would you be joyous
or mournful
of my death?
What if I
ran away
to escape
this life?
Would you say
good riddance
or search day and night?
What if I
got tired
of all the
what if's?
Would you care
if I decided
to stay?
I wander through the darkened land
What had happened here in the past
a mystery I wish I could solve at last
Though how I came here is unknown
and as I stand here all alone
I know that I will not find
the answer to the question in mind
The wind throwing 'round the sand
I pick up some in my hand
I have not will not come to regret
I know now that I can not find the secret
Lives have past and I still live
I do not have much left to give
Will I complete this one task
I highly doubt that I will pass
If no one else has figured out
how could I have any doubt
that I am not the last to appear
to try and solve why I am here
My blood
My soul
How could you do this?
Abuse me
Use me
I am your tool
to amuse you
to let your anger out on
You see
That is all I am
Even as I breathe
move
speak
even as I seem alive as you
I am dead
I do not feel
can not
You have beaten me
You have won
That is what you wanted
Are you happy
now that you finally have it?
speaking of nothing
Complete silence
The wind blows
Still no sound
He stares out in space
So quiet
I dare not break it
I had so much I wanted to say
so much I wanted to do
I stopped myself as I reached for him
Sh...
He never noticed
He never does
and he never will
I have yet to figure out
What have I done
What can I do
I am too loud
too stupid
too crazy
not cool enough
I can never please you
Why do you hate me
I have always wondered
You laugh sometimes
but even that is short-lived
You rarely smile
tell jokes
tease lightly
Please be calm
I say I hate you
I do not
I am sorry
I am too sensitive
It is my fault
always my fault
You have done nothing wrong
I should know not to get you angry
You
my own blood
if after you forced
yourself
out of this world
you were thrust back
in it
Would you cry
and scream
about the unfairness
the inhumanity
Did you know that there
is a purpose
a reason
you are here
It could be small
Saving a young child
an infant
or huge
You could be a hero
saving thousands
thousands of lives
or you could have no
purpose
no reason
You could do nothing
of any importance all
your life
You could think this
It isn't true
You may not know it
but you have made a
difference
in someone's
life
mad or sad you see
She walked around
so happily
Nothing could
ever go wrong
as long as you
played along
Beneath the smile
there is a frown
though no one
ever came around
to see if there was
something to say
to make the sadness
go away
She told no one
'cause no one cared
And if they ever
ever dared
they'd be afraid of
what they'd find
that it was the smile
she hid behind
That�s the real me
That�s what you think
That�s all you see
What if I wasn't
just think for a second
what if I wasn't what I show
What if I proved everything that you know
wrong
I�m not loud
not attention-seeking
as I seem
It�s second nature
to act this way
but it isn't me
You didn't know me
when I was young
the quiet girl
the silent girl
the shy girl
That was me
I wish I was her again
I miss her
No one noticed her
No one knew her
mysterious
No one cared
and still no one knows
that I don't like it
how they all think they know
that they could ever know me
Why should I?
You don't care
about my feelings
about my fears
as long as I act
as I wear this mask
as long as I seem
happy
glad to be alive
The death wishes
they aren't real
you say
She just likes being
dramatic
Why should I care then?
Am I
selfish
for it?
Should I be punished?
It doesn't matter
You don't care
I don't care
The whole damn world
doesn't care
I say screw it
screw the world
screw the people
screw life
Why should I care?
I�m happy
Are you happy?
You are
so happy
That�s what you want to
believe
isn't it?
Go right on thinking...
thinking it is
It isn't true
but who am I...
who am I to dictate truth?
That�s what I am
An idiot
How could I believe
for just one second
How could I think it was real?
How could anyone love me?
Me!
Just a game
a stupid game
Oh how funny!
Are you laughing?
Isn�t it funny?
How I could actually think
just think
that you speak truth?
Lies
That�s all it was
is
Lies
How stupid
Stupid!
of me to believe
for just one second
that anyone could love me
she seems so sad today
I know that I can't comfort her
There's nothing I can say
The tears fall down her face
but she doesn't even see
I can see why she don't know
when she's too busy staring at me
Her eyes are red and puffy
She looks like she can't breathe
but she doesn't even notice
cause all she sees is me
what is so important
about the girl that only I can see
Why doesn't she look away
What's so important about me
I touch my face in wonderment
as I finally feel them fall
I never noticed but now I do
It's a mirror after all
Don�t restrain me to the ground
Let me fly
Let me swim
Let me finally be free
When I die
I wanna be me
Won�t get to see the people
Won�t get to smell a rose
Won�t have the chance to finally see my dreams
Don�t bury me
Don�t try to keep me down
Let me fly
Let me swim
Let me finally be free
And when I die
oh when I die
I�m gonna be me
Cause I�m in love with the sky
oh I just want to fly
away
Will you catch me when I fall?
Cause you know that when I do
that I�m counting on you
to be there
Who will catch me when I fall?
Cause I will soon someday
no one will stand in my way
Won't you catch me
when I fall?
and pass away the years
I can run right through the dark
and fight away my fears
I can stand here in the rain
and wish that you were here
But I know what I should do
is forget about you
I can raise the spirits
and will away their pain
I can hear the secrets
that are screaming through the rain
I can try forever
to make our love remain
But I know what I should do
is forget about you
why I want to die
and I wonder
why do you ask why
If you can't see
what I go through
then you don't
know me
that well
I can't live
in this sad cruel world
I don't think
I can last
I don't want
to live anymore
Too much time
has past
When I leave
I'll go
on my terms
Ain't no one
else gonna choose
I might go
right now
if I want
but I know
you're gonna loose
Cause he wonders
why I want to die
and I wonder
why do you even
have to ask
doors close
Stay inside
so no one knows
what you feel
and what you think
No ones gonna
see you sink
into depression
beyond this world
of nothing you
will ever mention
Hiding from
your fears again
behind the masks
of lies
I see
just what you
want to hide
Been there
done that
Nothing new
to me
you see
Window closing
doors are open
Face the world
and hide your sins
I fear it
What can you do
when you belong to it
Where can you hide
when you belong to it
I embrace it
I shun it
I am so scared
I don't know what to feel
I am so confused
I don't know what to think
I deny it
I avoid it
I don't think I can last much more
I don't think I can keep these thoughts away
I�ve tried it
I�ve bled
Dull red was all over my arm
So lifeless it seemed like no harm would come
cause I belong to it
He is my partner in crime
He is my master that I obey
He is the one that I go to when I am alone
I never belonged anywhere but with him
because I belong to death
Wondering what has happened to silence this town,
I seek out help, but
no one is willingly found, so
I battle the silence and
fight fears
of the future children that will lose their
way to find themselves trapped in their thoughts
of terrifying wars and lands of no hope.
What�s wrong?
What did I do?
I�m scared
I feel empty at times
not emotionless
no
I�m full of emotions
More of a tool
a body
a moving body with emotions
No conscious thought
doing what I�m told
Existing
but not living
Always confused
Will I ever live?
Will I ever reach that point?
Want help
Need help
Begging for it
You foolish girl
just being goofy
You�re fine
Don�t need help
I�m scared
confused
Will I ever be alive?
I face their fears
I faced myself
and fought my tears
I am alone
There's no one here
I'm not that strong
but they don't care
I can do it
they all say
They all know
my heart won't stray
Just focus on
what they want
Nothing can go wrong
if I stay strong
but I am not
not deep inside
All I do is
cry and die
I scream and shout
when no one hears
No one's there
to see my tears
Will no one help
Will I stay alone
I can not do it
I am not strong
Bumpy as a road
Turns and curves
everywhere you look
Hard as a stone
Mean as winter
Harsh and beautiful
at the same time
Bright as the sun
Dark as the night
Confusing but precious
is my life to me
as the light flickers
The tears fall
as the flames die
It is dark with only
dimming embers light
On the ground
I stare hard at them
around my knees
They refuse to die
as does my hope
I hold on to their light
for as long as I can
My existence is troubling the earth
I was never meant to be
and I cry so hard
oh I try so hard
I don't know how to leave
don't know how to leave
I have always dreamed
of a life for me
of life that I could lead
but I know that it won't last much longer
I can't be any stronger than now
so I will take my life away
won't see another day
It�s time to say so long
Good bye
I won't see you any more
Don�t bother
I�ll see myself to the door
I love you
Just remember
or what I�m really saying
until you comment on my words
Did I say that out loud
or did I just imagine
everything
How did I get here
when I was just there
What made me walk this way
I don't remember moving
or talking to you
What could have made me
this way
Nothing is happening
that I can control
Everything I do
seems to come from someone else
come from something I never knew
I�m sure she can�t be me
Her tears are clear
Her eyes are dark
I can see the conflict beneath it all
Is this really me
this girl that I see
Her blonde hair
blowing so free
Her jeans are grass stained
Her shirt is muddy
I know I would never do this
The guilt is there
The pain is visible
to those who know how it is
Is this me
the girl that I see
I would never let another
see me cry
Where is her love
The one that promised to hold her
promised to love her with all their heart and soul
Is this me
This girl that I see
hidden somewhere in my memory
Can you hold me tight in your arms
and never want to let go
of
me�
I need all your heart
I must have it all
I can�t trust
It isn�t lust
Sorry�
Can you keep me safe
and secure in your embrace
I must see your face
smiling
at me�
Love me tender
Can you please
Hold me closely
closer still
Never let me go
even when I say so
I get scared so easily
and I try to run away�
Don�t let me go this time
Don�t let me
go�
Love me forever
Will you still
hold me tightly
tighter still
I try to run
but don�t give up
I get scared so
easily�
Don�t let me go�
Can you love me
so much
that you will do these
things for me�
Can you give me
all your heart
all your soul�
all your trust�
all the love that you can give�
I will try to run
and you let me go once before�
Don�t let me go this time
Hold me closer still
until I cry�
Love me�
feeling like a new born babe
My legs are wobbly
The world is tilted
My lifeline is inches away�
Let me hold on to you
just for this one time
I know I�ve hurt you
in the past
but I don�t think I can make this�
I feel so weak
I can�t breathe
My heart is hammering in my chest
You�re next to me
pat my back�
and then you move away
Don�t go
Let me hold on to you
Let me feel your touch
So comforting
is your love
even though I know I�ve imagined it�
Walking in the middle of the road
the lines I stand on
are not straight�
I want to fall
so hard to the ground
just so I don�t have to be
next to you�
Don�t make me walk any longer�
Don�t make me want your touch�
I yearn to hold your arm
just one more time�
Please, let me walk away
It�s so hard to refuse
the comfort you hand to me
the comfort that I know you can give�
Inches away from me�
Leave me in peace
You won�t let me be on my own
I just want to die
Just to disappear
But you won�t listen to me
Can you leave my world
Leave me here to die
I beg I plead I get down on my knees
Just this once
Can you leave me alone
Can you let me settle this
Let me freeze up
Become numb
I don�t want anyone�s warmth
Can you leave me here
Leave me in piece
Can you let me be on my own
I just want to die
Just to disappear
But you won�t listen to me
I beg I plead I get down on my knees
I still cry
You won�t leave me to die
They can�t be mine
Mine are brighter than that
Her�s are dark as night
I stare into her eyes and I�
I am afraid
Her face morphs into one so unlike mine
I stare deeper
Her smile is so thin
So cruel
This mirror is one of lies
This girl is not me
Others tell me she is
They don�t understand
They must not see the girl standing there
If she is not me however�
Who am I?
I feel so detached
My head is fuzzy
My ears are ringing
Am I no one?
This girl is not me
I am not me
I do not feel
I have no reasons
Her eyes�
Why are they haunting me?
A girl with no place
No place in the world
In the world that lies
That lies so bluntly
So bluntly that it sickens
That it sickens her so much
So much that she wants to die
She wants to die because she
Because she doesn�t think that
Think that anyone would care
This is a girl
A girl that walks through
Walks through life so slowly
So slowly so she can look
She can look at everything
At everything that is beautiful
That is beautiful and unnoticed
Unnoticed just like her
Like her real self that she
That she tries to hide
That is hid
That is
Unimportant
What they think
Unimportant
Who they are
Unimportant
Who I am
Unimportant
Mind is lost
Unimportant
Fear is life
Unimportant
Love is gone
Unimportant
Love is gone
Unimportant
Love never was
Life ends
All is lost
Mind numbs
Heart stops
Knocking on the door
Bang bang
Banging once more
I don't know what's in store
For me
Knock knock
Knocking on the door
Bang bang
Banging once more
I don't know what is my
Destiny
Should I answer
Should I wait it out
What's the question
Can you hear me shout
I am screaming my pain
I can barely hear my name
Knock knock
Opening the door
Oh no banging any more
Every thing is silent
Every thing is dark
Future is scary
I'm closing this door
Knock knock
Knocking on the door
Bang bang
Banging once more
Destiny will have to wait
Knock knock
Knocking on the door
Bang bang
Banging once more
in my drawer
been there so long
Never thought that I'd use it
How I was wrong
Took it out today
brought it across my leg
No blood was shed this way
Dull edge I noted
I'll put it up later
in a drawer downstairs
where it shall stay
I'll find one sharper I'm sure
in my drawer it will stay
I only hope I won't need it
someday
Running through my dizzy mind
I know that something is wrong with me
When I trip and fall
I feel I've lost I all
Please let there be something more to see
Why can't I be
Just simple me
Everything's so complicated
Why can't you see
What I can see
Cause nothing else will keep me sated
I walk the yellow line
Running through my crazy mind
Help me see what is reality
Falling through the cracks
I can't trace my tracks
Hidden by invisibility
Life is just a dream
Will you wake me up?
Can't get to sleep
Sirens outside my window
Ambulances at our door
Coroners march up the stairs
Officers break down my door
Breathing all over my body
"No pulse
She's gone"
Wrap me up
Let me out
I'm trapped
Don't leave me here
Thorns are tearing me apart
Roses growing too fast to live
Petals falling tickle my legs
with Pain and Sadness as my friends
Scars left are quick to fade
Hope is gone from my memory
resounding in my thoughts
My careful touch is all
that keeps them free
My head lays down
My eyes shut for a nap
I glance at the clock when I awake
One minute has passed
I am so tired
My mind is a blank
While my heart races
Nothing is ever calm about me
I can not get rid of this feeling
It has taken over my life
Control is not something I have heard of
I rest my eyes once more
I will not awake again
I tried to make this perfect
Nothing I could do worked
I am, in fact, at my lowest
I think something is wrong
My attitude is the same
Yet, at the same time, it is different
I fall asleep in class
You don't see me back there, do you?
Did you notice that I lied about my homework?
I didn't do it last night
No one will leave me alone
I just want to sleep
I don't think you noticed
I always turn my face to wipe my eyes
Are you looking at me now?
I am screaming, but you don't hear me
beating it's rhythm
Moments are the dancers
twirling in their flocks
Life is a dance
we all tire of eventually
Death is the end
The drums stop
Dancers are clearer
You can read each face
crying as they leave you
to live on forever in others
With your little smile
All the joy you brought to me
It was worth the while
You couldn't wait for me
I know I should have asked you
To go along with me
The time that we shared
I didn't think you would leave so soon
The pain I couldn't bare
A lesson never told
You can't have everything in life
Not everything is sold
A lesson untold
Learn from it and cherish
And the world you will hold
No one ever wanted to know
When you ask me how I'm doin'
I don't have anywhere else to go
I am feeling A-Okay
avoidance is all I receive
Don't you realize I don't need you
You don't have to believe
I wanted to die, and I still do
I'm not crazy, I'm not alone
There are millions just like me
You are just too blind to see
though you are deaf to mine
is all I have known
No pain no sorrow
It is all rainbows
You never find it out
until it's too late
until you have to think�
I saw behind the mask
to pain and fear
It was just a glimpse
but I saw the tears
Why did I do nothing
to help her
Why did I condemn�
She died yesterday
No more tomorrow
All her pain is gone
No fear no sorrow
What did she do
to deserve this
How could I let her think
I did not care
If I had done different
she would still be here
dark inside
that first ray of light
when you walk outside
happy and free
butterflies flying
children are laughing
never really there
never alone
always detached
who are you?
just reaching for
that pot of gold
you know is at the
other end
what's coming where
when
unexpected shocks
drifing away
no cares
slowly now...
regrets?
another life?
emptiness?
all I know
is the end
you'll fall apart, boy
everything you ever dreamed
ever wished to do
nothing ever happens
none of it comes true
your heart is a fool, boy
your heart is a tool, boy
it tugs you around
giving you false hope
you think you're movin' up
you're goin' down a slope
listen to your head, boy
it knows what's true
it knows what's possible, boy
it knows what you can do
it makes complete sense
knowing what's in your future now
follow your heart, boy
you'll be let down
and you weren't there
You never helped me out
when I called your name again
You always looked away
You felt my pain everytime
And I know
you were aware
of myself
standing there
and I never understood
No I can't imagine
why you didn't want to know
why you never let me go
when you knew
how I was
dying inside
I died a thousand years ago
I died a thousand years ago
I died a thousand years ago
and you never cared
no never gave a look to me
never called my name to help me out
left me there to rot
left me there to bleed
left me there to die...
I died a thousand years ago
screaming in my place
you ignored my tears
streaming down my face
dripping down my arms
you ignored the flood
believing there's no harm
no one seemed to care
no one ever could
see me standing there
you wish you were deaf
leave me out of mind
you sentence me to death
into your face
I screamed me hoarse
into your ears
you didn't want to hear
....
you didn't want to care no more
I'll cut myself bloody 'til you see
kill myself for you to realize something
a-bout me
something that you should've known
...
you should have known...
to know anything about me
I rely on you to see
I am myself
but I can't live without you by me
I need someone to notice
everything I do
I need someone to let me
be selfish like you
why can't you see that I can
be just as self-absorbed
why is that a crime
...
why am I ignored
I rip it apart
the seams tough
the tears silent
fabric of life
do not belong
never did
wrong time
wrong place
too wrong
no notice
don't care
I'm me
in here
be what willed
not what is
how'd I get here
what do I do
bleeding just to know I'm still here
I haven't disappeared
do I still exist?
dead now but still breathing
can't breathe
crushing against my chest
the weight of nothing
wringing hands
nothing to do and I feel empty
something
something
must do something!
kill me
please
it's all I can think
dead dead dead...
no no no!
shut up!
I'm dead...
rock back and forth
my only comfort
is not comforting
rock-a-bye baby...
rocking
rocking...
shhh....
don't press don't too hard
the point will break
right through the sheet
and mar the perfectness
black and white
leave your crayons behind
leave it like it is
I don't want to see your view
make it pretty and perfect
don't erase a line
it'll smudge the rest
leave the rose to bud
across the paper and
watch in awe afterwards
as I tear it up again