| 03-02-01 Blastoff! Ha. Think what you may, but I am many things. Somethings I am only a little. Somethings I am a lot. And then there are things that hit my straight on bullseye, and those that completely miss. Humans don't come out of boxes. Or aren't put into boxes. If anything it's a big blob which on the outside you see just chaos, no pattern, or rules. But once you look inside it becomes obvious, there are billions of things there and a pattern must be present to sort it all out, right? Sinner from saint, black from white, rich from poor, everyone from everyone. As I said no one is everything but everyone is something. Or someone. So how do you tell what 1 out of these 6 billions organisms are? Look back at their roots, what branch they came from, where they grew up, what was around them. Basically everything before them. Next see the current position that they are born into. The world. A person has a lot of catching up to do, the later they were born, the more catching up. This is why adolescence is starting earlier and earlier, people are catching up faster and faster. Finally, what do people think of the future. This is important because most things that are thought about the future never come true. The jetsons, 1984, every worlds fair. As long as the future is thought to be something, awe-inspiring, dangerous, horrible, it will never happens. The two extremes of an era usually dictate sides and of course history takes the middle course. So what does this have to do with a person? Humanity may dictate a person, but for a human to dictate humanity they have to be in touch with all three of these things. And then they can break the cycle and do something extraordinary. And everything will wrap around them. Waves into circles, circles into a point. A blob into a human. 03-06-01 Is it better to be complicated or simple? This I ask. In your mind you can look at the world and see it either of these two ways. See a person as your friend, or not. Or look back and see everything that has happened in the past between you and that person, what your current status is at the present, the possibilities for the future, factor in your emotion at the moment, what your horoscope said in the paper, and if fate destined this moment to happen or not. Friend or foe. Person or person. Walk outside. You can see beauty in a flower, or ugliness in trash on the ground. Mostly beauty though. Or, you can see a building and think of all man had to do to get to the point where he said I am going to build on ths spot right here and purposely use this building to serve a purpose which will eventually lead to hiring people and paperwork lots and lots of paperwork. The flower. The piece of trash on the ground. Beauty. Fluid or solid. Black or white. That's really the big one. But again, what about all of the colors inbetween. As new things are born and created, the chaos just grows. Until everything becomes grey. That will be the day when people will cease to be people, and they will be neither complicated nor simple but just plain. 03-08-01 As Peter walked into school that day, he had something in mind. In his jacket was an instrument that would take the life of whomever he wanted: he had the power. There would be no more being lonely. There would be no more waiting for the girls to see why he was so much better than all of the other jerks in school. No more ridiculing. No more teachers telling him what to do. He would have control. As he took the first step into the building, he was shaking. It was a normal day, at least for the other students. He hadn't told anybody. Get in, get out. He would shoot at anytime and run. Run away from all of the problems, and hitchhike across the country. His parents weren't there for him. They didn't care. They wouldn't understand. He took another step, and froze for just a second. Who is going to die today, who deserves a lead salad in their head. An administrator walked by. "Take off that jacket young man." The boy mumbled something back and walked on with his head down. He would finally make a difference, this wouldn't be like all of the other shootings, this was unique. This was him and he had to do this. Peter knew right from wrong. He knew he would go to jail. He was only 16 however, jail would allow for some quiet finally. After all kids are treated better in prisons than they are in schools. Freedom is overrated. He went to his locker. Looked around. Look at everyone laughing, the couple kissing overthere that makes me sick. Friends walking and talking, people flying through the halls with smiles on their faces, they can't actually like it here can they? If they only knew. If they only knew how it really was. Stupid people alienating the shy, smart, fat, ugly. People just want to be part of something. Well you'll definately be part of something today. Something clicked in his mind. The thought shot past in his mind and he smiled demonically. Then he walked fastidiously, pushing people out of his way to hurry to the cafeteria. That's where the most people would be. Innocent people, or at least thats what the media will think. I'm sure they've committed many a sin, sex, stealing, lying, no one is up to those stupid 10 commandments. He walked into the cafeteria slowly and everything slowed down. He saw the deer waiting quietly in the field. The scope was ready. As he reached into his jacket, a girl called. She looked up sweetly enough. "Hi". Her blond hair and blue eyes were enough to get him back up to speed and his thoughts shot out of his head. "Sit down." She smiled. He didn't know if this was a trap or not. It can't be genuine. But he sat down. As his hand left the jacket, the gun fell out of his jacket. Time slowed as he jumped down to try and muzzle it, make it all go away. But it fell, and the trigger went off and the bullet moved through air as it was fated to. The blond girl had a smile on her face as she did not know what was heading her way. She was innocent. He went to jail. But he didn't mean it. At first it was just a thought. |