"What is up with the hair and the earrings?"
"Cause imma hero."

Although gramps is all sick and all the booji, I gotta say that the best time to meet your FAMILY is during these type of events and all the good stuff yeah? Well, this weekend I ended up on a trip to SB and Oxnard cuz, 1) Somsamay had a baby shower, 2) Gramps is sick, and 3) Gramms in Oxnard is sick... it sucks, but that's how it is...

I met a buncha new relatives and all that jazz at Somsamays baby shower, and shiet, are asian people really that short?... It was like a friggin freakout fest when all the "new" fam-fam found out who mah parents are and how much I've changed since mah baby form... It's a lil bad since all the remarks that give is like an ego booster, but none the less they get a kick outta mah jackass remarks... Well, crazy enough, the baby name is Alyssa and da budday is August 18 2005... Deng, one more day and she would have been born on the same day as a hero...

For that night, I friggin drank myself a total of 9 coronas, 3 shooters of hennessy, and 1 bottle of smirnoff... "OoOoO, so fuckin hardcore on that last drink"... I was on a good roll after that, so Kong n Khan took me out to the harbor to get a wiff of dirty sea breeze... "I hadn't seen Khan for about... 6 or more years?... But deng, she grew hella dark from when I last remember her"... Anyways, the next morning we wuz spoze to leave to Oxnard, but Kong n Khan made us food... AIGHT, they didn't make GOOD food, but for living on their own, its average but they sure need help on some cooking skills... "Khan, the steam rice is crunchy?"...

Anyways, gramps was gettin better the next day since the hospital sent over a liquid medication, "thanks to me", and it really did make me feel better cause he actually got outta bed an started chattin wiff everyone... "I think imma end up like him when I'm old... Well not in that sense, but even though he's in his current state, he's still hardcore as a moe-foe and takes no help from friend nor family... yu stubborn stubborn old man"... As long as anything eases the pain off, then I'm game for what ever...

The day ended in Oxnard when we went to check up on gramms from uncle Nams side uv da family... no one was home so I went ahead and took a nap, stupidly enough, moms left me sleeping on the couch and went to the hospital with everyone else... By the time I woke up, a buncha clueless aunts and uncles were runnin about the kitchen n dining room chattin n eattin, while me n mah lil sis were nappin... Eventually the rugrats woke me up and I sat there for a good 30 minutes until everyone figured out who I was... "OMG!!! IS THAT YOU?!"... "Shiet you bastard, I thought you were some mexican guy"...

It was a kick wiff the older folks, but shiet, even mah cuzn's didn't recognize me... Has that much time really passed?... Have I changed that much?... All the older folks left fer the hospital after they finished eating, and at some point in the day, the teen-sized rugrats made it to the pad... I knew everyone one of them, but I decided not to say anything to see how foolish I could make em feel... Well, it took like 15 minutes before they finally noticed... Linda friggin split er wig and started screamin off the back and bum rushed a hug off me... "I guess it's a family thang wiff a lotta luv... 5 or so years apart'll do dat to yah"... It wuz koo seein em all again, some changed for the better and some stayed perfectly the same, so it wuz all good... But shiet mang, if yu can't remember me, then the height is a dead give away...

Well to end the day, I learned that regardless of how many piercings, tall, dark n creepy a person is, lil kids will look pass all that "FOR SOME REASON" and start buggin the crap outta yah... either dat or I'm next best thing to a real monster?... "Seriously, I've got a knack fer lil boogahz regardless of my tasteless character"... New photos up, if not now then later... and is my writing style slowly reverting back to the ghetto thang again?

-wolf

"What the hell is this? You don't answer your emails. You're never online, and when you are, it's only for a split second. Your phone is always on, but you never seem to pick up, let alone text back or answer your voicemails. You don't even come visit anymore, and when I finally run into you, all you can do is smile. What the hell are you running from and don't give me any of that lone wolf shit... enough is enough..."
"Take that last part back, or you'll never see me again."

Well, the best thing to do in situations like this is to let it be... "One less person is one less burden"... I scratch my head sometimes, but recently I've been getting sick of being around people... I unno, it's not like me to literally hate people, but mang...

I'll talk and all that jazz if I have to, but if nothing needs to be said, then I'd prefer to stay silent... It's morbid if you ask me, cause lone wolf only had one meaning up until now, and now it's about to be projected as the real me... mebbe this was the real me all along, and I'm just finally getting into character?... I unno, I havent tried to reach out or counsel anyone ever since this month started... Honest to say, I've been tending to myself and leaving everything as is... No matter what's happening or how good n bad things are, I haven't thought about anything...

I lack motivation?... Seems that way... People put up a lot of excuses these days, and I've no intention of pointing fingers, but if that's the way it's gunna be, then I think I embedded myself with the thought that it's alright for me to keep my ground also... So mebbe that's it?... I've nothing but love for everything, but when all efforts don't match up and everyone points fingers, who's to blame?... "Slowly I'll fade and become a ghost, only then will everyone see the world as they deem important"...

All I do these days is sit on the piano and play tunes all day, and when I'm not playing, I'm playing a piano tune in my head... For sure this has something to do with something from back in the day, cause this has got to be a side effect from the things that I've forgotten and finally trying to remember... If I can't remember on my own, then I'll just have to sit here and play until I can find what it is that's provoking this loner thang... Sadly, the more I play, the more I care less about everything else...

Until then, don't nobody miss me cause I don't miss you... "One less person is one less burden"...

-wolf

"You're a much happier person when you listen to that trance of yours."
"Only to melodic trance... It pulls you into a dream-like mindset."

Much love out to mah gramps... I'm a lil down at da moment, but yeah, it's been one helluva ride, so lets see you fight dat moe fuggah back and have it come to a close wiff a bigass bang...

From a father, to gramps, and even to great grandfather, ends a chapter...

-wolf