"If I see you for christmas, I'll give you a dollar."
"no... if i see YU fer xmas... ill giv yah a hole fuckin dollar..."

fuckin darn... fuckin darn... itz almost new yearz once again... an im still fuggin waitin fer mah recordz... oh da fuckin agony... HOOZ GOT A FUCKIN WISHLIST... at da rate im goin... i tynk i'd buy myself all uv mine by da tym dat comez... if any carez or if i go MIA in da next month... me wishlist... (hint: der all fuckin recordz)... ahh fux nevva mind... i lost da list...

anywayz... i went ahead an sold off da c-west wing and added dat charge onto my vacation fundz... sadly i wish i coulda put it on at least... but it wuz better off untouched in da box... da next item on mah list iz da skyline headlightz an spoon mirrorz... (wut da fux... stoopid shiet... i dont pick up restricted or numbahz wiff no ID)... uh... dat should add jez a lil more ass money fer japan... (Y buy ass from mehiko wen yu can buy ass from japan... asians the way to stay)... mah turbo kit went on halt a fuggin long long time ago... so i say away wiff sum uv doz partz also... i could care less...

hmmm... da beach soundz nice dis weekend... well yah gotta sieze da opportunity while eberone iz keepin away from da cold... well mebbe itz a bipolar thang... but hell itz an achievable goal fer da weekend ne... i tynk datz wut ill do... but den again itz perty pointless fer huntington in da winter aint it... wut evva ill see to it...

hmm... seems lyk im usin time management skillz to prep fer da weekend... well while im at it letz do so...

- get a haircut... not really but yah kno wut i mean...
- wash ayumi... goodness shez friggin filthy...
- go doggy shoppin... im gettin sicka bei bei... hez no fun out in da open...
- get ridda da taillightz an headlightz...
- sleep at da beach...
- search fer recordz along da way...

holey shiet... datz not dat bad uv a list... er uh... ah... mebbe... ill prolly stop by an get a foto uv me mug fer mom momz or sumpin... mang... i havent even seen mom momz sister... my aunt... an already shez sendin fotoz fer xmas... but i gez... "26 yearz ryt mom... datz a fuckin long tym"... so... hoo knoz... i take more fotoz uv mah car dan me mang... ind dat sumpin... but hell derr goez one void... (wonder wut she lookz lyk... lyk mommy?...)

-wolf

"How can you be so sure about that?"
"i unno..."

a place to get away from it all... datz so idealistix... there wuz a place at some point in tym... but alla sudden it gradually disappearz to no where... a place does not exist in dis place called land uv da free... never wuz... never will...

skunk iz enigmatik character... but fer sum reason he's a lil more in touch dan anyone in da group... i really cant say az to Y... but he cries for a reason... hell he'z da only one dat really criez bout us... he haz a reason to cry... he has a motive to cry... not to puttem on da spot... but he'z kynda lyk me... a place to get away from it all were nuttin elz matterz... drinkin wiff all da homiez an evertyng elz in da world jez ceases to move... ind dat a dream fer everyone to hav...

today i caught myself again... i cant stand enuff to da truth as how reiko sayz it... but da past iz da past... an da future jez fuck it... today i couldnt even seize da day cuz i had werk da next mornin... hmph... werk... sumpin i thought i would never comply to... i kynda hate myself ryt now... da once all mighty shadow is challenged on hiz valuez an all he did wuz submit to the system... dis iz a pretty shameful sight... im startin to looze myself gradually...

wut skunk wantz iz to find a place were nuttin elz matterz... hiz version iz simply good timez wiff all da homiez... now dat i can call propz on... his get away from da world iz us... itz az simple az a cupple drinkz an a cupple drunkz makin an ass uv each other... mang... i can hate da werld az much az i want fer itz trendz an conformity... but den again it wouldnt do a deng thang to make anytyng better...

in my story... da only way i can get away iz to leave everytyng behind... but ironically my past makez da future... i have no way out... how sad... everyone tynkz im a fuckin goldenchild wiff everytyng at hand... but in truth... da real me haz no where to run but to wear a mask an blend in... typical story ind it...

soon itll be x-mas... den new yearz again... den ill be a year older an finally decide to type lyk a decent writer... but iz anytyng really werth celebrating wen we all lyv in a werld were da valuez we once had are blindfully shut off... an makeshift truthz are made to ease da mind... such a place were nuttin elz matterz does not exist anymore... dis iz my woe...

-wolf

"a person once asked me... what do you live for... back then i had no answer... an i still dont..."

i find myself askin da same questionz ovva and ovva wen it comez round to tyngz... in general im heavily pessimistix an truly a sadomasochist wen it comez to any situationz... but i had a heavy sigh dis mornin wen i awoke for work... life sux...

it sux in general... but sumtymz i wish i hadnt had frenz on da way up... it woulda made it all EZer dat way... i hav no idea Y itz a negative but everytyng datz brought me down haz been buddyz an shiet... funni... frenz bring joyous feelinz fer othaz while it createz burden on my part... wat a deng pity... everytyng i evva did on da way up wuz all alone... i did everytyng mahself an accomplished eberthang alone... den alla sudden a change in environment iz supposed to make yu turn yer bak on yer valuez in whole... i hav nevva did an nevva will look to anyone els fer support... i carry mah own weight...

it sad how i turned out though... my expectationz fer everyone to be as morally strong az me jez turnz out to be sticky mint... i jez fukkin looze respect fer doz peepl on da spot... i symphatize nor send pity to no one... az selfish as it may sound... i would hav a better life if i hadnt built bondz wiff anyone... da only effect peepl hav on me is to slow me down... pity...

not everyone realizes Y i left the way i did... but... if i hadnt den no one would be taking me as serious as they are now... if you really look at the image that i set of myself... i dont give a ratz ass for any companionship what so ever... you can label me anything yu want... deny anytyng about me... but itz all da truth... sumtymz i realli dont give a shiet about anytyng but myself... anyone hoo relyz on a seperate entity to support their weight iz only showwing a weak point to their story... an wen it all comez down to it... chancez are you are complainin all sortz of shiet about me an stressin yerself out while im sittin on mah ass wonderin about my clothez... weak shiet... yu fukkin peepl are weak shiet... what ever yu say i am... is the greatest fear dat yu dont want upon yerself...

what do i live for... i honestly dont know anymore... nuttin has any value deez dayz... da only tyng i truly want... iz a place were i can go to be away from it all... nuttin els matterz...

-wolf

"now yah see... yuz old skoo... an we new skoo..."
"Hey, the progression is like this. We old school stick to the basic kick punch fireball combo stuff. Then there's you new school where you guys get all crazy with the air combos and power up shit."

i arose at 7.00am... an i wuz drunk until 9.00pm wen i finally reached home... now dat mah flenn iz called a fuggin bad bad hangover... but i woulda came ovva it faster if i found a better sleepin spot dan next to da toilet... now ind dat sumpin... ill report bak wen i feel lyk it... oh an mah bio an ayumi logz hav been finished an updated... sumwut at least...

-wolf

-wolf

"I heard you touched the clouds finally."
"yeah... i fuggin climbed dat big ass hill an couldnt see shiet through it..."

wow... mang... yearz boutta end yo... an it wuz only lyk yestaday wen i fuggin got mah stoopid ass drunk at shyboyz new yearz party boutta year ago... mang... eberthangz bout ryt...

i dint realize it til it hit me dis weekend... but eberthang i evva wished fer or evva dreamt uv were all booshiet... datz a good thang... dreamz are for lozerz hoo only hope fer thangz to happen an continue to wallo in dey own self pity while da radical dreamerz take eberthang apart... dis weekend wuz da best fuggin get away to reality i evva had fer a while... priceless it wuz...

it wuz a constant feed fest fer me while onkeo an kaori kept pummelin thoughtz into mah dome... "yeah well go to the bubble bath houses with kaori's brother"... "when we climb mt. fuji you'll need oxygen tanks... but i'm pretty sure peter's gunna have corona bottles instead"... "lets ship corona cases and a buncha liquor ahead of time, but i'm pretty sure it'll be gone by the time kaori's dad gets it"... "yeah, my brother will take you around town, Daikoku, Ryopongi, Shinjuku, whatever, you got it"... japan... at da age of 20 fer peepl mah age... da only fuckin way dey could even go to japan is to beg fer freebie ticketz from mumz an dudz... from da US to japan i mean... (no reference fer vice versa situations... yall peepl gotta study)... but fux... it hit me wen dey kept sayin mah name... we will do dis... you can do dat... would you like to... hey wen were derr... ... ... at age 18 nuttin seemed possible but at 20 all da shiet happenz... i grew into a self dependant nygga... holey shiet... i jez bought mah own ticket fer japan an im flyin on mah own saved up money from mah own hard werk... shiet shiet shiet... at any rate ill figure eberthang out in da next year or so ne...

dis weekend i spent ovva 1.5 g'z on a buncha schuff... sorta... an i hav no fuggin regret az to were da money went... an i am still wonderin were it really did go... but hell... money has no means in dis life yah kno... mumz an popz already spent a great deal uv der time to invest in wutevva... an now dey dun really gotta werk dat hard... plus on da side deyre chill at eberthang i do at da pad... it soundz koo dat dey dun trip... but it aint even lyk dat... mah popz iz ryt wen he sed i should be savin money at mah age... i mean wut elz could i ask fer... all da money i get iz spent on sentimental itemz but da truth dat i shoulda seen long ago iz da far run... datz sumpin ill be lookin to getta fix at... aftah japan dat iz...

wen i went to northridge fer da weekend only fer one purpose... but it ended up better dan i thought... it turned into a 3 day weekend startin from saturday... an it felt fuggin great to hav all dis money left on da side an to wake up eberday an not hav da feelin to do nuffin... in a situation if i wuz in daygo... i'd prolly be out slangin partz or off on mah feet runnin round... but hell... it wuz great to really wake up an literally hav shiet to do... dat weekend i jez finally had it wiff all da booshiet an told mah self... fuck yer frenz... fuck da battlez... fuck werk... fuck racin... fuck eberthang and relax... relax... an later i found mah ass walkin down hollywood wiff a wolf beanie struttin... mang dis weekend wuz sumpin elz... im perty sure all da homiez were partyin an wut not... but sumtymz yah jez gotta walk yer own path... an it felt fuckin great to see sumpin new fer once...

i left daygo on bizness... chilled in TK... left fer LA on a battle draw... an ended up in norffridge lazy... now datz sum shiet...

-wolf