"Hey I like how the front bumper has a white sparkle. What type of paint is that?"
"iz called rock chipz mang..."

welcome 2 another week uv skoo... so far i got bout 4 hourz til i gotta wake up again... gracias-spank yu... but hea i am as usual hackin away at da thurst uv nocturnal lyf... kiss-kiss daymit... kiss le wind batch... OH OH! looki at da sky dat reflectz off ayumi... so bootiful daymit... i luv er so...

anywayz me an boa wuz havin a talk bout v-day da otha day... she seemed a lil bummed an lonliful... (dood iz lonliful a werd?)... oh da woez uv bein a single person wiff a passion tah give more luv dan hate... oh woe... ... ... EwWwWw... gurl yah needa stop readin dem bookz... *SHHH* shez a hopeless romanticist... wut a wuss...

anywayz... i wuz bein hoo i wuz an pullin punchez while she cried out her itty-bitty heart... but hell dood... v-day dun mean a gawd daym tyng wen yah tynk bout it... Y iz it dat only on v-day iz wen everyone goez all out an buyz flowerz an candy fer one friggin day... itz pointless... yah got 356 dayz in da year tah be a fuggin knight but one fuggin day yu do buy her candiez an giftz (yea dis iz v-day)... yu become a fuggin god an shiet from buyyin simply roses an cocolettz... huh?... but wen yah get er chocolatez or sumpin sum otha day... shez like "huh? wut da hell are deez fer?" or "aight... wut da fugg yu do mang?"... dood mang... yahll women iz crayzee...

one otha brain teaser... wut makez v-day so special... every year so far all i heard iz "i wish i had sumone tah spend v-day wiff" or alla sudden evryone getz depressed ovva it... but... wut da hell iz so different from v-day an easter?... HUH?... dey both hav a 24 hr day and fukkin good ass candy... (cadbury fuggin eggz are da fuggin shiet mang)... so Y not yearn fer a luvvah on dat day also... *scratchez brain*... daz da tyng bout society deez dayz... yahll dunno wutchu want unless sumone or sumthingz tellz yah to... but one tyngz fer sho... v-day haz got sum gawd daym cute stuffed aminalz... hey ill admit it mang... imma get mahself sum stuffed berrz cuz dey iz koo beanz mang...

anywayz... im predictin on mah tax return dat i will get... bout 8 billz... hopefully i do... i got... actually i got no moe planz fer dat cash... currently im jez savin up... but... fer wut... eh... ill figure it out wen da cash hitz mah handz... but anywayz... 2 morroz a skoo day... an da lecturez are tyt az fuck... now imma head on outta herr...

-wolf

"What the hell? Didn't you use to sleep earlier?"
"da fuck if i remembah..."

countless weekendz hav passed since mah pad haz been invaded wiff peepl crashin on an off in da guest room... will derr evva be redemption fer an open weekend... oh woe iz me... woe i say...

well were off tah a good start... i went tah skoo 2day tah get mah english textbookz... but fuck mang... dat sheit wuz closed... an da learnin center wuz closed also... so... i wuz screwed since i couldnt do mah diagnostix test... bull i say...

but luckily janni lee hit me up on da info dat da store wuz open on saturday also... but yea... 6 hrz later after i texted er... now dat sumpin... i alredy started mah back up plan tah search daygo fer da bookz... but seein az how tyngz went... i gez not anymore... so itz off tah paintball ryt after im done wiff dat shiet...

outhai an onkeo are hea... again... bein da 5th or sumpin tym alredy in dis year... jeezuz mang... so i gotta full schedule ahead in da mornin... lez see... i gotta wake up in da mornin lyk round 7 an camp out at da houzin were dey were gunna purchase... hopefully daz ovva wiff qwikly... den head out tah skoo an get mah bookz... den off to escondido fer sum paintballin... so far da statuz uv dat... not lookin good...

well da ferst tyng dat hit mah mind wen i heard paintball wuz "pain"... oh hevenz by all meanz datz a good tyng... bein both masochist an sadist ill enjoy either receivin da pain or lyttin sumone elz' ass up... an da good tyng bout it... mosta em are beginnerz so imma hav me a free fer all slug fest... now ind dat sumpin... but on da real... i fuckin luv gettin hurt... at da same tym itz painful an fuckin funni if yah bean or get beaned by a homie... YOM BITCHASS ALIEN SKERRED TAH GET HURT AN SHIET YAH FUGGIN PUSSY! IMMA LITE YO ASS UP WEN IM DONE WIFF DA ARENA!

so dat bout bakez it... but did yahll evva meet a chix dat wuz so fuggin cute dat yah couldnt remembah err face da next day... now ind dat sum shiet... i see dis one chik in mah class every otha day were i fuggin gotta say "daym" every tym... but stupidly i cant remembah wut she lookz lyk da next day... now ind day strange eh...

-wolf

"What? You ever seen an asian guy pop lock before?"
"nygga dat aint shiet mang... dis iz b2k quality sumpin batch..."

dis wuz da longest weekend in mah life mang... it wuz... fuggin cute... fuggin fun... fuggin tirin... fuggin illin... yahll peepl evva wrestle wiff sumone dat wuz one foot under yo height... DAT SHIETZ FUGGIN FUN AZ HELL!!!

anywayz... yahll women throw hell too many curb ballz mang... wen yu imply sumpin yu expect uz tah kno... RYT?!... shiet mang... i jez kno how tah hav fun so i dont waste tym on lil itty bitty detailz... get on da boat an ride mang... enjoy da trip...

so tah update yahll peepl... i started conditionin mah movez like a month ago... an ryt now... itz more bettah dan back den... but wut da fuck... i havent been poppin since... uh... half a year or so... but yea mang... im fuckin whoopin b2kz asses mang... or it feelz lyk it at least... but let it be known dat "girlfriend" myt be a slow beat... but dat shiet iz pop material... ill sho yah sumpin lil sumpin...

so boa wuz hea on da weekend... oh excuse me... BOUA... daym it... but i gotta tell yu dat not all femalez act da way i tynk all femalez are... dis one wuz daym hella annoyin... mang yahll lil peepl dun sleep or sumpin... illin... aight im playin...

it wuz hella koo beanz seein er dis tym... but hell... talk bout broken ice... she ind even hesitate tah strangle me... actually daz da ferst tyng she did... ... ... da ferst tyng she did... after a 2 year gap... ... ... now daz da shiet im talkin bout... it wuz a fuggin slug fest tween me an er... an yah kno sumpin... I CAN BENCH PRESS HER! HOLEY SHIET BOA!... pweh... ill see yu in wichita daym it... yu betta pray i aint got da money fer mah plane ticket...

but truthfully speakin... da presence uv a female wuz really much needed fer me... specially a type like er... it tweeked me a lil bit tah acceptin minor female acts... or sum shiet lyk dat... but all i kno iz dat iz a matter uv tym wen ill finally accept an enjoy da presence uv a female... cuz ryt now... all yahll gurrz izza buncha hussy gold diggahz... yah feel me mang...

oh yea mang... skoo iz fuggin hella koo beanz... mah english teach got purple herr and peercinz all ovva... i mean... wut da fuck... she lookz lyk me an shez a teacher... daz fuggin tyt shiet mang... but on da badside... im still da only fuckin asian guy in mah classes mang... were da fux iz all yu at mang... talk bout reprezent an shiet... so anywayz... imma b2k mah ass on outta hea mang... PEECE OWT!!!

-wolf