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| how can you, one person, bring me so much pleasure... yet so much pain? being with you makes me so happy... something that i doubted i would ever feel... but you scare me... no, thats not right, the happiness scares me. with the knowing that all happiness ends... then the pain, with an equal strength, seeps back into my life. i can already feel the dark shadow, wrapping its arms around me... trying to convince me that it is hopeless that i shouldn't struggle that i should give up on ever being with you again... i try to fight it... but you treat me as if you agree as if you don't want me anymore... is it true? do you want me to just go away? should i runaway like i have always done? too scared of the pain to look back? i don't want that to be my life anymore i am tired of hiding i don't want you to just fade into a regret i wish that i could just come out and ask you but i can't... my fears bar my way.. the fear that you don't care about me as much as i hope, that i'm just another girl i don't want some long relationship... but i don't want it to be over this soon.. and i don't want it to end the way that i fear that it has.. |
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