| Your Bowling Average may be 200, but your IQ is -20 -Saturday, September 13th, 2003 |
| In my opinion, bowling is the most athletically demanding sport out there. Few people have the strength and endurance it takes to roll a ball. Honestly people, what is so great about this "sport"? Anyone below the age of 50 should not play this. Hell, anyone over the age 50 should not play this. Do something that actually takes some skill. I mean, rolling a ball toward a bunch of pins? Somebody should throw one at you, pinhead (pun intended). All the old people who can't run two feet without having their legs collapse beneath them play this because it doesn't take alot. WTF? All other sports too hard for you? Here's one. One of my favorite sports: GOLF. Try this. It doesn't take alot, and it's actually FUN. My siblings bowl. They got this bowling magazine a few days ago. Let me show you one of the letters to the editor: I am nine years old. I just wanted to let you know I think the XPress magazines are really great and fun to read. My high game is a 153 and my average is 103. Last year I improved my average 29 pins. Once my gradpa bowled 10 strikes in a row. I started bowling two years ago. Every week I go bowling, I dream of bowling a 300 game and think someday it will come true. You can tell this was written by a nine year old by the way it jumps from subject to subject. Let's start at the beginning, shall we? I am nine years old. To the parents: get this kid involved in a physical sport. You want him to be one of those 12 year olds that outweigh Rikishi? Try wrestling, or boxing, or golf, or soccer, or baseball, or karate, or gymnastics. Something that will help this kid. Skipping on down... My high game is a 153 and my average is 103. Last year I improved my average 29 pins. He neglects to mention that he also has thos gutter guard things that keep you from getting a gutter ball. Once my gradpa bowled 10 strikes in a row. Yeah? He probably gets that in baseball too. So your grandfather bowls? My grandfather was active in the military in WWII. I started bowling two years ago. Every week I go bowling. You mean you could stand it that long? Maybe I was wrong. You have to be pretty tough to endure such torture for so long. I dream of bowling a 300 game and think someday it will come true. While most kids dream of becomming rockstars or astronauts, this little loser's number one goal in life is to bowl a 300 game. Poor kid with no life. I feel your pain. I'm not going to give out his name, but he's from New York, like me. It shames me to admit that. There's a PS too. I named my dog after Pro Bowler Parker Bohn. DOGS SUCK COCK. I was planning on going easy on this poor kid until this. I thought he was just a tortured soul, but now I realize how much of a dumbass he really is. As for the other part of that PS. Are you telling me that there is a such thing as a porfessional bowler? I guess that means I'm a professional computer user. This guy isn't a pro bowler, he's a pro moron. Please people, if you bowl, do me a favor and drop one of those balls on your foot. And don't ever give me the excuse that your too old or out of shape. Play a good sport and get in shape! If you ARE beyond help, here are some sports you can play that are better than bowling, yet you won't kill yourself playing: Golf Pool Foosball Quad/ATV riding And if you are in shape and bowl, consider one of the following: Wrestling Boxing Hockey Baseball Badminton/Tennis Weightlifting Soccer Track/Field Karate/Martial Arts Paintball Bullfighting Do NOT play any of the following: Bowling Football Basketball (NOTE: Basketball itself isn't bad, but don't join any leagues or anything) Volleyball (NOTE: The note next to basketball) Rodeo Teh British version of rodeo Note: Everything expressed here is my opinion only. It should NOT be taken seriously. Reproduction and/or distribution of this, as well as everything else on this site, without permission from me makes you an asshole. |