| Here's a Video Game for you, MTV!-Friday, February 13th, 2004 I have an excellent video game idea. You play as a UOX Agent (UOX is a special forces team in a story I once planned out but never got around to writing). You have been assigned to protect the newest pop fraud, er, sensation as they appear on TRL. While there, you find here some conversation. You do some exploring and find out that the MTV headquarters is actually a base of terrorism. You have to break into the base and steal their secret weapon: a missile that, when explodes, makes everyone in the world hear bad rap music! Once again "Music" Television proves it's name is 100% wrong. I was in the library the othey day reading Electronic Gaming Monthly, when I came across an interesting article. MTV and EGM's Best 15 Games. Immediately I thought 'how could EGM be so fucking stupid to team with MTV?' But on the first page EGM posted a disclaimer. It said that the games listed were more like the most popular ones from no earlier than 2000. DAMN RIGHT. It then went on to make up an excuse for that, instead of just being honest and saying that MTV made the whole list and they refused to change it because they were afraid of what it would do to their reputation for going against MTV. Cowardly bastards. Let me give you the game list. Dance Dance Revolution-A dancing game. Wow. How fun. Have you ever played it? It basically has symbols scrolling up and down the screen and you have to press the corresponding button. How freaking fun. Gran Turismo 3 A-Spec-What? I know what Gran Turismo is. WTF is the A-Spec? And why would you put just one game from a series here? Gran Turismo is an okay series, though the controls are a little dodgy. What about the other two? Bastards. NBA Street Series-I've never even heard of this. There's a series? Whatever. It's a basketball game, so it's probably shitty. WWE Smackdown/Def Jam Vendetta Series-Aha. Now that's my kind of game. Wait... what is that? DEF JAM VENDETTA? What the fuck? That's not even part of the same series! Oh, but there are rap stars, and it is MTV, so it had to be included. Rappers can't even sing. You expect them to be able to wrestle? A wrestling game with rappers. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard (other than that, I've never played teh game, so I don't know about the quality of it) Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell-Never played this either. But it looks pretty much the same as Metal Gear Solid. I guess I don't have any right to complain since I haven't played it. But I have to say that there are other games that I'm sure are ten times better. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater Series-I have mixed feelings about this. THPS is an okay series, but hardly as good as it is displayed as. I'd say this probably belongs on the list, just alot lower. Madden NFL Series-Football. Sucks. I've even played football video games. You spend more time setting up each play than actually playing the damned game. It sucks. Soul Calibur II-No arguement here. This game kicks ass. Mortal Kombat would have made a better placement though. Super Mario Series-I agree here, too. Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty-The gameplay is good, but it's pretty shallow to include just one game when there is an entire series. Does this mean none of the others are any good? I hope Snake gets you, MTV. |
| Grand Theft Auto Series-Meaning 3 and Vice City. How often do they talk about one and two? Never. I have to admit though, 3 and Vice City are fun. Maybe they do belong on the list. Just not so high. Final Fantasy Series-I've only played one, which was, in fact, the original. But judging from it overwhelming popularity, they must be pretty good. So I'll let it stay. The Sims-Fuck you. Fuck you. And you know what? Fuck you. I played this game a couple times. It isn't that great. In fact, it's mediocre. This doesn't belong here. At all. Fuck you. Halo-I think this is some kind of first person shooter. So you know what? If it isn't popular enough for me to not even know what kind of game it is, it is definitely not popular enough to be on this list. And finally... The Legend of Zelda Series-Okay. This is a good one. I agree here. My only objection is that it was accompanied by screenshots; all of which from Wind Waker. This game sucks. It plays EXACTLY like the N64 version. The storyline? Absolutely nothing to with the previous Zelda games. And to top it all off, IT'S CELL SHADED. That is the stupidest thing the gaming industry could do. I have an idea. Nintendo can take the cells, turn them sideways, and shove them straight up... This never would have happened to a playstation game. So that's it. MTV can't even get video games right. Get your stupid karibou-fingering hands out of our gaming magazines and go back to producing shitty television. Or even better, get your hands out and go back to producing music videos. Or better yet. DROP DEAD. Note: Everything expressed here is my opinion only. It should NOT be taken seriously. Reproduction and/or distribution of this, as well as everything else on this site, without permission from me makes you an asshole. |