| The AP Video Music Awards-Sunday, September 14th, 2003 |
| So, I just got back from David's house. We spent the entire morning watching the Reality Television Video Music Awards (NOTE: Music Television is a lie, since this is one of the few things they do actually associated with music). And I realized how many people won that suck, and suck but won. So I'm devising my own VMAs. I'm not entirely sure if this is considered an MPFH, but I don't care. So, here we go. Best New Artist Award MTV's Winner: "In Da Club" by 50 Cent My Comments: Yeah, it figures, with all the preps in the world today 50 Cent would win. Society sucks My Winner: "Something Beautiful" by Cauterize Breakthrough Video MTV's Winner: "The Scientist" by Coldplay My Comments: I don't even know what the fuck this award is. I just put this one up because of Coldplay. I do say, after their performance, they don't deserve to win any awards. Wait, I take that back. I'll nominate them for one of the AP VMA awards. You'll see it closer to the bottom. So anyway, just wanted to let you know, COLDPLAY SUCKS MAJOR ASS. My Winner: "Go With the Flow" by Queens of the Stone Age (NOTE: These guys were nominated by MTV, I selected them because they were the best of MTV's nominees) MTV2 Award MTV's Winner: "Girls not Grey" by A.F.I. My Comments: MTV2 Award? What I think they mean is 'unpopular yet good bands' award. Most of these were good songs. Though Queens of the Stone Age should have won. My Winner: "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age Best Video From A Film MTV's Winner: "Lose Yourself" by Eminem My Comments: As much as I hate to admit it, Lose Yourself is an okay song, BUT there are better. They didn't even nominate any of the good movie-based music videoes. Here are MY nominees: "Won't Back Down" by Fuel (Daredevil) and "For You" by The Calling (Daredevil) My Winner: "Won't Back Down" by Fuel Best Rap Video MTV's Winner: "In Da Club" by 50 Cent My Comments: What a loser. This guy doesn't even deserve one award, much less two. Now Linkin Park's "Somewhere I Belong" isn't really rap, and the "Faint" video sucks (NOTE: The song is okay, but the video sucks). My Winner: "Time and Time Again" by Papa Roach Best Group Video MTV's Winner: "The Scientist" by Coldplay My Comments: COLDPLAY SUCKS. David was pointing out "You like Trapt but not Coldplay?" They don't even sound remotely alike! David was also complaining about Good Charlotte for copying others. HELLO? Coldplay is a major rip-off of one of my other favorite bands: R.E.M. So, once again, COLDPLAY SUCKS. My Winner: "Headstrong" by Trapt Best Female Video MTV's Winner: "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce Knowles featuring Jay Z My Comments: First I'd like to say IT'S BEST FEMAL VIDEO. This should not have won because IT FEATURES JAY Z. How can it be the best female video if a guy sings the song? So who did I pick? My pick was actually filmed at another MTV award show! My Winner: "Not Gonna Get Us" by Tatu Best Male Video MTV's Winner: "Cry Me A River" by Justin Timberlake My Comments: There wasn't a single nominee that was any good. I already pointed out how bad 50 Cent is. Eminem is okay, but just that: okay (although I did find it funny when he beat up Special Ed). Johnny Cash sucks. I know he died a couple days ago, and he's the legend, and he was old and all that. That's fine, in fact I thought it was cool that they actually nominated him. He even had a couple good songs considering he sang country. But the fact remains that, no matter how much of a legend he is, this particular song SUCKS. There was also that loser that sings "You're body is a Wonderland." I once saw and interview with him and he said the song was about exploring each other's love. In other words, he's too much of a pussy to say it's ABOUT pussy. My Winner: Don't really have a winner. This award shouldn't exist. AP's Award: Worst Video of the Year Nominees: "The Scientist" by Coldplay "In Da Club" by 50 Cent "Crazy In Love" by Beyonce Knowles featuring Jay Z "My Love is Like Whoa" by Mya "21 Questions" by 50 Cent "Pump It Up" by Joe Budden My Winner: Um... Hmm... you know what? They're all winners! Every video above sucks major ass and should be taken off the air immediately! |