| If I could rearrange the Alphabet for you, I'd put NO and WAY together. What's my number? My number is 1 800 GET LOST! (also works to say your e-mail address is [email protected]) Buddy, if I could rewrite the alphabet, I'd put an X right over U. Why don't you give me YOUR number, and I'll call you if I'm feeling desperate. I've already adopted a dog from the animal shelter - I've got no more room for strays. Go back to your place? Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? If I could rewrite the alphabet, there would only be twenty five letters, because if U was in it, I wouldn't be. They say No means No, but in your case, no means HAHAHAHAHAHA! I only believe in love at LAST sight. So if I never see you again, you might have a shot. I would, except for the smell. And your face. And your shoes. And your voice. And your smell. I said smell? And your gut. You're kidding, right? I wouldn't let my dog date you. Nice pitch, but it was outside the strike zone, champ. And now, I'm walking. No thanks, I'm not into charity work. I'll have to think about that, thinking makes me tired, when I'm tired I want to sleep, not dance, so let's not, okay? I'm trying not to laugh at your pass, which did not have one shred of class. Your intentions are crude, your manner is rude, and so you can just kiss my ass. Come back after your plastic surgery and a bath, chimp-boy. (to your friends) Aw, look at the monkey! Look at the monkey! I have a dog already. You remind me of someone cute and smart, but not. It's not you, it's me. No. No, it's you. What is that smell? Thanks, but I've been more attracted to my own vomit. Sorry, I don't date outside my species. Where have I been all your life? Well, for the first thirty years or so, I probably wasn't even born yet. You're lost in my eyes? That explains the headache. I'm Mount Everest, baby, and you're a climber with one shoe, no food, and a tent from Toys R Us. My therapist says I need to avoid situations where I might be tempted to kill again. If I say 'No way' a billion more times in my life, I'll never mean it more than I do right now. No. But for a hundred bucks, I'll pretend to be interested in you so your dorky friends on the other side of the room will be impressed. You know what would be cool? Why don't YOU give ME a fake number, instead of me having to give you a fake number to get you to go away. Then, later, when I don't call it, I'll think you were too cool to give me a real one, and everyone walks away a winner. What's the Neanderthal word for "go away"? "What's your number?" "It's in the phone book." "But I don't know your name." "That's in the phone book too." Uh oh... looks like the local dorkkeeper left the cages open again. Sure! Meet me in the last stall in the ladies room in five minutes. Wait for me if I'm not there.I like your approach, now let's see your departure. |
| Rejection Lines |