| Blonde Jokes |
| Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. Q: A blonde going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs? A: To avoid the draft. Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route. Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? A: Shine a torch in her ears. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool? A: No smoking. Q: What does a blonde do when someone says its chili outside? A: She grabs a bowl. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? A: Flattered. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way. Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them. |