Savior

 

Disclaimer: Legacy of Kain belongs to Edios and Crystal Dynamics not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Vorador . . . then he’d be mine.

 

Warning: this fic contains YAOI HINTS (GuyXGuy); if this offends or upsets you do not read this, it that simple.

 

Rating: PG-13

 

Pairing: Raziel/Janos

 

Setting: Alternate universe, sort of the SR2 time frame.   

 

Summery: Janos Audron is the last surviving ancient; he makes a request of the one who would save him.

 

Authoress note: I’m not sure what inspired this one, it just kind of happened.

 

Italics mean either flashbacks or thoughts

 

 

* \/ * /\ * \/ * /\ *

 

 “Stay with me,”

 

Those were the words Janos had used, those words coupled with the expression on his face when he had whispered them took away any lingering doubt Raziel may or may not have had. How could he refuse this one anything, it was simple, he could not. If this one had asked for his head Raziel knew he would have looked around for a tool with which to remove it for him. He couldn’t help it; it was as if he were powerless, he could not speak, move or even think of rebellion; Janos had a power over him.

 

All thoughts of everything went out of his mind; he no longer cared what mystery Kain had been trying to show him, he no longer had any interest in false revenge, and it no longer mattered what Moebius was trying to trick him into. For this is truly what he had been made for, not for great quests and grand betrayals but rather to make this creature in front of him made from grace and graciousness, smile.

 

His past life seemed to fall away like melting snow; his anger faded making him feel powerless, young and unable to defend himself. Not that he had any interest in defending himself against this one; instead he let him wash over him like wind. 

 

“Yes.” He reached out “yes I will stay with you.”

 

* * *

 

“I thought maybe this one would suit.” Janos said, opening a door to a bedroom.

 

The ancient vampire seemed awkward now that his moment of desperation had passed, his wings constantly ruffled, the sound unfamiliar to Raziel yet comforting all at once; his claws playing about the ends of his robe and he could not meet the eyes of the one he had asked to stay. Raziel would have laughed if he hadn’t been feeling something similar; he didn’t look at the room, and instead he continued to watch the ancient vampire as he agreed that yes the room was fine.

 

Raziel couldn’t help but feel awkward when stood next to such a creature as Janos, so graceful and beautiful while he himself, a shadow of his former glory, felt small, broken and ugly. He snorted silently to himself, even when he had been beautiful he would have felt like an awkward gangly teen in front of this one. It amused him somewhat that the ancient was the one showing his awkwardness, but despite showing it, he didn’t seem to lose any of his grace, and only a little of his poise.

 

“I . . . would you like to see the rest of the aerie?” Janos asked slowly beginning to regain his confidence, he watched as Raziel nodded and managed to meet his eyes for the first time since he’d asked him to stay.

 

Janos sighed to himself feeling foolish, it had been such a bold request, “Stay with me,” but also one he had been thinking the moment his savior entered the room and spoke to him, He had thought he would never ask it, it was too much, but it had happened; he had meant to ask Raziel about the blade when it had just blurted out against his will. He had felt all his strength leave him at that moment, for surely his savior would say no, for how could he say yes? It was foolish and selfish of him to ask and now Raziel would pity him and there was nothing worse in this world than pity. But Raziel had looked at him with a need in his own eyes and the whispered agreement had made Janos think on many things. He had had a revelation shortly afterwards; this creature was not divine, it was a normal living creature that had had divinity forced upon him.

 

It had struck Janos then that Raziel was as lonely as he was.

 

“This place was once a strong hold for our race, it used to house over fifty of our kind.” Janos smiled, feeling pleased to be the one who would educate Raziel in what he was. “But now it holds only two.”

 

“Only two.” Raziel repeated, the sadness in his voice made Janos wince, he assumed the savior felt guilt at his lateness in arrival. The ancient vampire smiled and turned placing a claw on what was left of Raziel’s shoulder, Raziel looked down, it was his turn now not to be able to meet his new mentors eyes. A claw touched on his cowl, trying to tip his chin but not finding one, instead it found the roof of his mouth through the cloth and tipped it up, forcing eyes to meet.

 

“It matters not child.” Janos smiled and Raziel felt warmth rush through him, “as long as a single one of us stands we are legion.” Raziel took a step back, blinking, the lights in his eyes flickering. Janos looked distraught “what?” he questioned fearful at Raziel’s reaction to his words. But Raziel calmed quickly.

 

“It’s nothing.” Raziel muttered fixing his cowl which had started to come lose when Janos touched it, “its just someone I once knew said that to me a very long time ago.” He paused “or perhaps not so long ago, I get so confused lately.” Janos felt relief flood him and moved over to his savior, steering him forward. “Come I shall show you the gallery.”

 

The gallery was not as large as Raziel had expected he had assumed from the murals he had seen that this ancient race had a love of art, but Janos’ gallery was modest. He looked at paintings so lifelike it made him want to weep which was something he wasn’t even sure he could do anymore. Great creatures armed with spears, standing or in flight always looking regal and noble. But a few painting were different, different style and subject, no longer focusing on the ancient race but rather a newer race of vampire, simple fledglings dressed modestly, holding more brutal and less graceful weapons, looking for all the world like lost children.

 

“Vorador.” Janos breathed “he paints these, in life I believe he was a black smith of some kind but I may be wrong, for his hunting skills are beyond that of a normal man, but I do know he always wished to paint.” He laughed lightly “he was . . . pleased when I gave him a room here full of paper and gave him recipes for different colors.”

 

“Why tell me this?” Raziel asked frowning, he’d already known Vorador’s joy at painting, he’d heard many short stories from his father, Vorador had often tried to use him as a subject, Kain however had not been cooperative, what a surprise that had been. 

 

“I tell you because, when many look at Vorador, they see the muscle, the sword, the fangs, and the anger they rarely see his love for fine art, his enjoyment of music.” The ancient looked to Raziel with purpose “appearances can be very deceiving.”

 

“It is a lesson I have been taught many times,” Raziel nodded “but one that still I have not learnt.” Janos shrugged a graceful gesture; a few small black feathers fell from his wings as he did so. Raziel watched them fall struck for a moment at their fragility and caught with a strong urge to catch them in his claws. “I am in constant need of a teacher.”

 

“You seem to already have had one.” Janos raised an eyebrow, Raziel nodded

 

“I did not listen, my trust for him was shattered a long time ago and since then I have never listened to him, but you and he say much the same thing and now I wonder if perhaps I should have given him the benefit of the doubt, for maybe if I had none of this would have happened.”

 

Raziel swallowed and looked once more to the floor at the fallen feathers; Janos said a lot of the same things Kain had already told him. Their words were frighteningly similar, yet they themselves were almost polar opposites. Janos had a calmness that Kain lacked; he had a patience that Kain lacked. Raziel paused at that thought and took it back, it wasn’t true Kain had always had patience for him, for his brothers, it was others Kain was impatient with. Raziel smiled at the memory of times before he had been cast down away from his father by his father. He had never felt so loved, so protected, even when he was old and strong enough to defend himself Kain has always been subtly hovering somewhere, just keeping a quiet eye on him.

 

Raziel was hit with a sudden feeling of guilt, like it was he who had betrayed his father not the other way around. He was so confused, his love for his father had never really died no matter what he said but something big had been destroyed, something Kain had destroyed when he cast Raziel into the abyss. Janos brought out in him his softer emotions and his memories of this time and Raziel felt his anger fading and he was being left only with grief. But he looked up at Janos and the grief too seemed to fade, fade and be replaced by a strange quiet contentment. Yes he mourned his past, but now maybe he had a future here and a good one too. A future greater than his past, for although parts of his past had been happy there had always been problems.

 

It was refreshing Raziel found to be able to see a softer side to someone by just talking with them. He knew Kain had had more than one emotion, he knew Kain felt grief and fear the same as everyone else but it was frustrating to have to beat down his defenses every time something of that nature needed to be dealt with. In fact it was more than frustrating it was insane, which made Raziel think of one of the biggest difference between his sire and his new current companion. Something Janos had that Kain did not, sanity. Janos was calm and in control of everything around himself, Kain could barely control his own mind.

 

It was heartbreaking and frightening to watch your own father, your lover, go slowly more and more insane each day. It had frightened Raziel as a fledgling when Kain had had these episodes. Days or weeks where he could fall into silence or near uncontrollable rages. Although now, he seemed calm on the exterior, the things he said, the actions he preformed gave Raziel no doubt Kain was hanging on to rationality by a single thread. The reaver spirit swallowed at this thought, he knew he would rather see his father dead than see that thread snap, for when it did nothing would be safe.

 

That was why he had perused him. The real reason, not a lie or false revenge.

 

Janos moved forwards to stand next to Raziel, his expression concerned; his wings twitched suddenly as he did so sending a single lose feather into the air. Again Raziel watched it fall, it looked so delicate, but the wings themselves seemed powerful, powerful enough to lift the ancient. He was stung suddenly by the memory of his own wings and felt grief well up inside of him, turning to Janos he breathed soft words of rest, of wanting sleep and he turned and walked back down towards the first room Janos had shown him.  A cloven claw grabbed his shoulder

 

“You do not need to be alone.” Janos spoke softly “I . . . I am here, talk to me, be with me.” Raziel turned to look at the ancient, eye lights flickering in the dim light.

 

“I am here,” he spoke softly “but I have responsibilities, I have someone who needs to be dealt with.” He cringed at the words as they came out of him and watched Janos’ face fall. He hated himself with renewed vigor now, this beautiful, gentle creature had offered him sanctuary here with him, had offered him open hearted companionship which was something he had craved all his life, even in his years spent with Kain he had craved it.

 

“you have responsibilities.” Janos repeated softly, Raziel snapped his head back up to look to the ancient

 

“I wish to remain,” he felt his voice crack with grief, “but if I do he will break and the consequences of such a break would destroy us all.”

 

Suddenly he felt warm arms wrap around him, cloven claws pricked at his worn skin, digging in gently, softly. He was hit with the soft scent of the ancient, subtle and comforting, it filled him with a warmth that had been absent for far to long and he felt his own arms wind around Janos, claws becoming buried in dark feathers.

 

 

“It is your decision, what ever you decide I will respect but please do not make this decision alone.” The ancient swallowed loudly “you are welcome here, I want you to remain here with me, I want you.” The soft words were made all the more wrenching by the now softening grip he was held in, Raziel tried to pull back but the grip tightened and would not release him “but I know who you are and what you are called for and I will not be the one who doomed us for selfish reasons.” Raziel pulled away and this time Janos let him go.

 

“Janos,” he started but couldn’t bring himself to say more

 

“Please just come to me when you want to make a decision.” Janos looked desperate, so Raziel nodded, turned and walked away.

 

Raziel walked down the corridor, his mind was reeling from what Janos had just said.

 

He had assumed that due to his current ‘condition’ that he would never be looked at any way but fearfully ever again. It was true that Kain did not fear him and showed no disgust when with him, but Kain more than likely saw him as little more than a tool now, you were hardly disgusted by your hammer now were you. Yet even although he saw him as little more than a tool he was still the only one who was not afraid of him. But that was no longer the way of it, Janos not only lacked fear but he actually wanted him here.

 

He’d shown no revulsion at touching him, had even held him, and had let himself be touched in return. It was an intimacy Raziel had thought was now and forever beyond him; he shivered at the memory of clawed hands on what was left of his wings. It was strange he thought, the touch had been pleasant, he had thought after the last time his wings were touched he would never want contact there again. He stopped outside the room which had been given to him, to be touched again by Janos, he sighed for a daemon who’s only physical contact with people was when he tore them apart, or when they tried to tear him, it was a lot to take in.

 

Entering the room he sighed to himself and moved over to the bed and lay on top of the blankets.

 

He lay there wondering for a few moments if sleep would be a good idea. He had slept since his rebirth, usually cramped into some foul hole; someplace no one would come looking, somewhere safe. It felt so strange now to be lying on such smooth sheets. He snorted to himself in his time as Kain’s lieutenant; he would have turned his nose up at cotton sheets. Now it felt wonderful but alien, good but in a strange foreign way.

 

But that alone was not only part of what made this strange, the fact that the bed was large didn’t help, he was so used to those little cubby holes, small, dank and usually damp and foul smelling; but they had one great redeeming feature, they were safe. Nothing could get in them save one way, and those who came in were usually too small to be a real threat. This was such a big open place, shivering to himself and pulling the thin blanket tight he shut his eyes and tired to sleep.

 

Three hours later he was still awake.

 

He could not stay here, he needed to go, he needed to go back to what ever it was Moebius and Kain had been pushing him towards, for if he didn’t Moebius would try something else. Raziel swallowed he doubted Kain would be able to survive if something so fundamental was to happen. His mind was fractured at the best of times and now he seemed to be becoming worse, his wild and random actions spoke volumes concerning his instability. Also Moebius would likely try to get him to return, he would come after Janos, Janos could be hurt, Raziel knew he would protect the ancient but with the amount of men Moebius controlled it was clear that one would be lucky enough to land a blow to the ancient.

 

Janos who was so openly fragile and Kain who denied any kind of vulnerability but he was perhaps more brittle than any of them. They both needed him to protect them.  

 

But then he would have to abandon this place, this offer at contentment. He would be looked upon in fear or seen as little more than a tool, a pawn. Janos saw him not as a monster or as a tool but he seemed to see him for what he was. He couldn’t give that up, he just couldn’t leave behind the promise of soft intimacy that he had craved since the day of his birth and been denied just as long. He simply could not leave this place.

 

Yet he had to.

 

Janos would find his bed empty in the morning.

End Fic

 

Authoress note: Random, just Random. God knows what I was thinking with this one.

 

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