Between Times

 

Disclaimer: Legacy of Kain belongs to Edios and Crystal Dynamics not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Vorador . . . then he’d be mine.

 

Warning: this fic contains YAOI HINTS (GuyXGuy)

 

Rating: PG-13 sexual references

 

Pairing: Kain/Raziel

 

Setting: Post Soul Reaver Two, Pre defiance. While Raziel is captive in the underworld. 

 

Summery: Captive in the underworld Raziel contemplates the events leading to his destruction.

 

Authoress note: Please note that this is a STAND ALONE ficlet and is not connected to any other in any way.

 

 

Chapter Three

 

 

 

Time in the spectral realm moved differently to that of the material realm. Time here seemed to move normally while in the material realm time was slowed almost to a stop; one could do many things in the spectral realm while in the material realm mere seconds may have passed.  Raziel noted this fact once again with sincere depression. He felt like he had been here for so long when in reality it had probably only been hours ago in the material realm that Kain had saved him. He still didn’t understand why, no matter how hard he thought about it. Was it fatherly love that had moved Kain to action or was it simply that by saving Raziel he was simply keeping him until he needed him again and once that use was over he would once again be cast into some god awful fate.

 

Raziel snarled to himself, he needed a way to lose these memories, he desperately needed a distraction, it was getting ridiculous. He was cowering here trying to find a way out of his own fate when all he had done so far was lament about his past. He felt like a smacked child wondering why and how, how could a parent that professed to love him hurt him so. He grumbled to himself and rose to his feet, maybe walking would aid in a distraction and so he walked. The spectral caves in which he found himself were barren of all life save from parasitic soul eaters and of course souls bound to this purgatory until devoured and consumed by the elder.

 

Placed onto his wheel.

 

Watching the souls of people now dead float mournfully through this place made Raziel yearn even more strongly than before for food. He had not eaten in so long and was famished to the point of pain, but fear stopped him, fear stopped him from giving himself the strength enough to shift back into the material realm. The fear was so great in him he felt like now he was simply made up of fear. He used to feel happiness, contentment, sadness and every other emotion man cared to name but now all he felt was fear and anger. His fear swallowed him whole and his anger chewed at him. It was so consuming that Raziel couldn’t actually remember the last time he had laughed or really smiled –not that he could smile any more, but in an abstract sense he did not recall the last time he had smiled- it was truly depressing. Fearfully he moved away from these mortal souls and went looking for something a bit more effective.

 

He needed to forget, he needed a fight.

 

The slaugh were strange creatures, out of proportion and blood thirsty, well soul thirsty really. They had changed much in the time since he had first become a wraith. Raziel remembered when he had been new born to this life and the slaugh had stood as tall as he had, while now they were short almost dog like creatures. But as vile as they were they would serve his purpose. He ran head long into the group and summoning the wraith blade began to destroy them. But not once did he devour one, no he allowed them to devour each other until only one remained then when that single remaining slaugh now grossly huge turned tail he allowed it to flee.

 

It had not worked though. He still remembered, although the fight had drawn up different memories it was not enough to exhaust him into sleep, or at least the kind of sleep that he yearned for, a sleep so deep he would not dream. No it had not been that great a fight, it had been poor and easy; and it had dredged up memories from a long time gone. When the human hunters were still around, a few mortals who were in fact strong or clever enough to take down a vampire.  Mostly they worked in packs; Raziel smirked to himself remembering how his father had tried to teach him how to deal with such problems. Kain had placed him in what he assumed would be relative safety, which also happened to have a good view of a clearing. The tree Raziel was perched in was ancient and strong but something about it stank of death.

 

He had watched as his father had strolled into the clearing, appearing not to notice anything out of the ordinary. The clearing was bare and silent for a long moment then suddenly it was not, men burst from the ground making Raziel jump and almost tumble from his hiding place. He’d watched as mortals emerged from hollows carved into the ground then covered by leaves and moss, growling human curses at his father who simply laughed them off and broke a man’s neck with a simple twist of his wrist. The ambush was well planned and executed but they were only human and the resulting massacre did not last long. Raziel had clambered down when only one mortal remained, the mortal standing its ground despite the deaths of its comrades, something in that shook Raziel somewhat. He did not understand it then but now he knew that although humans are physically weak and their magic is not as strong as a fully fledged vampire they have a cunning and determination that matches that of his father.

 

It was what made Moebius so dangerous now. He was old and frail but he was cunning and determined to destroy Kain and just as determined that Raziel be the one to bring down the final blow. Maybe Moebius matched those human hunters a little to well, maybe he really was just protecting the humans from a most dangerous threat. Raziel sighed and shook his head this was all so complicated, Kain was a savage dangerous creature but not all his actions had been savage, he seemed to for once have pure motives. But then Moebius although the man was in no way a friend, in fact he was highly despised by the reaver spirit maybe, just maybe he wasn’t fighting a bad fight. Raziel sighed and remembered back to that lesson which Kain had given him on mortal hunters and how pointless it had been.

 

Later Kain had shown Raziel how he had known that mortal trappings had been set, he had pointed out broken branches, clumsily covered up footprints in dried mud and most of all he had stressed the silence. Never were woods silent unless something had spooked the local wildlife. Raziel had argued that many wild creatures had a terrible fear of Vampires and Kain had laughed agreeing that this was true but also many wild creatures did not have the senses strong enough to detect a vampire. The lesson was well taught but still pointless because it was poorly received.

 

Decades later when Raziel had grown somewhat older he had himself been walking through the wooded areas of Nosgoth which were now diminishing greatly. He had heard tale from a captive that there was a small settlement here and he had planned to take it himself, alone. The action would impress his father and add to his own lands and prestige. But as usual Raziel was cocky.

 

No human in that time would have simply built a settlement with any defenses, but not once did it occur to the first born of Kain to check for them, he simply barreled in and found himself in a rather unfortunate situation. He was used to by now the fact that mortals often hid themselves in the ground, it was a clever tactic as the damp soil and covering of leaves masked their scent and dulled any sound they made making them virtually undetectable, also they had improved somewhat at disguising these hiding holes and Raziel quiet simply marched right into the middle of such an ambush. But still he was not afraid when the mortals burst from the soil to attack him; he laughed it off and moved to attack. But one vampire no matter how skilled can still be outnumbered. It took him a few moments to realize this was the case and decided to lead the mortals astray and take them down individually, a tactic taught to him by his brother Dumah. Who was proud and fierce but also was aware that even he could still be outnumbered, although his pride had started as of late to become something of a hindrance to the third born son.

 

Unfortunately for Raziel when he had turned to escape the ambush and lead the mortals apart he had collided firmly with air. Solid air, it acted like a wall, surrounding him. He panicked then and lashed out at the nearest mortal, hoping it would be the mage but he was mistaken all he managed to do was knock back a trained fighter and had his arm badly cut up as a result. A woman appeared suddenly on the outside of the barrier and had laughed then her voice cold and harsh. She had spoken to him briefly of how she was the one holding up the barrier, a talent taught only to women from a time when vampire hunters roamed the earth freely putting down all in there path. Vampire hunters from the time of Moebius. Raziel had been thrown slightly at that name for it sent a cold sensation though him but at that point he had known Moebius only as a man from his father’s tales. He jerked suddenly when he felt a blow to the back of his scull, it was hard enough to knock him down and make the world spin sickeningly. He felt himself failing to get back up and just for a moment as the darkness closed in he thought he saw a flash of white behind the woman who had spoken, but another blow to the back of his scull brought the darkness crashing down around him.

 

Raziel shivered to himself remembering that moment, when he had learnt in a most painful way that he wasn’t invulnerable. It was a hard lesson to swallow, and an even harder one to be lectured on, he grunted to himself as he made his way back to his usual hiding cave, everyone, it seemed thought they had a right to lecture him, his father, Moebius, the elder god and even his own fledglings. Maria had been his first born and after that fight it was her he had woken to see. She had been tending him since Kain had brought him back draped over his shoulder and had dumped him on her. She had told him then of how it had been a trap, the mortals had known the vampires arrogance and as such had sent one of their own to be captured. He had then spoken of this hidden settlement and as expected Raziel had come alone to attack it. The mortals it seemed knew him very well. They had known his strength, his skills and his weakness and had exploited each very well; he had been in a situation that could have killed him. Luckily for him a report had been made to his father, Maria had coward in front of the vampire king and had told him of how her sire had gone, alone to attack and that it stank of a trap. Kain had demanded to see the mortal who had told of the settlements location and had managed to get the human to speak the truth to him. Raziel watched then as his fledgling went pail and finally spoke to him of her own fear of his father.

 

He shivered remembering the small amount of fear he had felt then and compared it to what he was feeling now. Fear then was nothing, it had scared him as fear does but it had not driven him to action or frozen him completely like this fear did now. It was horrific to think that one day he may end up in that sword. Held captive for eternity, to become mad and still be confined; it was too much to bare. Why did everything have to change, why now did he have to question his father rather than give him the blind trust he always had before? The faith, he had once had was blown away by Kain’s own hand, why had he done it, wouldn’t it have been easier to convince Raziel if Raziel still loved him openly the way he once had? Why did he

 

He was so damn confused! A great part of him wished to trust his father again, but another part spoke against it, it was foolish. He sighed loudly to himself, why was it so hard? Why was everything so damned hard! Since when had he started to fear his father? Truly fear him; he snorted to himself loudly remembering people who had feared Kain, Maria was one of them. She had been terrified of Kain since the day Raziel had raised her; Raziel groaned loudly frustration finding its only exit to be his voice. He had never feared Kain before; Kain had always been something he loved. But then he saw the man and not the god that others claimed he was, he was there when Kain did foolish things, tripped over his own feet, made bad jokes and sulked. He almost laughed remembering back to that night Kain had pulled him from the ambush.

 

His father hadn’t spoken to him after that for over a week.

 

Proving that Kain could when it suited him be incredibly childish. So much so that it had truly surprised him when his own fledglings expressed fear at the mention of Kain’s name. Maria had been terrified when Kain had dumped Raziel on her and growled something; she still hadn’t stopped shaking by the time Raziel had woken. He had never understood there fear mainly because even when Kain screamed at him he himself had not been afraid. He had never run from his father, not once. But now . . .

 

“MARIA WAS RIGHT TO FEAR HIM”

 

“What! . . .” Raziel jerked upright at the sound of the elder’s voice.

 

“MARIA WAS RIGHT TO FEAR HIM, HE IS A SAVAGE CREATURE,” the elder paused as if for dramatic effect “ONE THAT CAST YOU DOWN TO ME ON A JELOUS WHIM.” The elder’s voice echoed through the chambers and Raziel sighed and stood once again. He walked slowly towards the largest chamber where he knew for some reason the elder preferred talking with him. Maybe the eye that was visible here was the main one, Raziel did not know, nor did he care. He thought for a moment about ignoring the elder, well, as much as was possible to ignore a creature that can speak into your mind anyway, but on a whim he decided to obey the silent command to come and speak with the elder.

 

“HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO CONVINCE YOU HE LOVED YOU.” The Elder spoke again when Raziel entered the main chamber and dropped down onto the lower floor making his way slowly to the stand in front of the elder.

 

“He did love me,” he said quietly when he arrived “I was with him for a millennia I know him. I know when he lies.”

 

“NO.” the elders voice echoed inside his head making Raziel wince “IT WAS A HOAX, DO YOU NOT RMEMBER HOW HE WAS WHEN HE FIRST RAISED YOU, HOW HARSH HE WAS TO YOU, HOW COLD. YOU WERE A TOOL TO HIM AND NOTHING MORE.”

 

Raziel sighed the memories rising to the surface of his mind, pushed there by the elder’s words. Memories of when he was first raised always held at arms length, pushed away when ever he tried to be closer. Words that were a little harsh directed at him when he tried to impress. Then suddenly a change without provocation, without any obvious sign as to what had made him change Kain had changed, he had suddenly become softer to his fledgling, coddling him, protecting and reassuring him that nothing in this world could harm him. Telling him he loved him.

 

“But that changed.” Raziel sneered to the elder.

 

“SIMPLY BECAUSE HE SAW HOW YOU REACTED BETTER TO SOFTER EMOTIONS, SOFTER TOUCHES. HE MANIPULATED YOU THE WAY HE HAS EVERYONE.” The elder sounded smug at his own words and for a moment Raziel found himself believing them. What if it all was some kind of hoax, considering the abyss . . . it was not the fate you gave to one you claimed to love. But Raziel paused suddenly in his thoughts and smirked.

 

“You’re contradicting yourself.” He almost smiled “If he cast me down on a jealous whim then how could it all have been preordained.”

 

“SIMPLE, HE NEEDED AN EXCUSE.” The elders voice was thunderous, Raziel winced the great creature always seemed to have an answer for everything. “AN EXCUSE TO CAST YOU AWAY SO THAT OTHERS WOULD STILL FOLLOW HIM IN FEAR. ALWAYS IN FEAR.”

 

“I did not fear him.” Raziel remembered others fearing his father but never him, he had never feared Kain. Until recently. Until now. He was so confused!

 

“DON’T YOU THINK IT ODD THAT OUT OF ALL HIS CHILDREN YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE HE PROFESSED TO LOVE.” Raziel swallowed loudly, that thought had haunted him more than once but he always managed to beat it down with the fact that you cannot choose who you love. He himself was proof of that, Kain had almost destroyed him and still he could not help loving him, he continually made excuses for Kain’s actions and even when Kain had given him the open chance to destroy him, to have his revenge he had been unable to act.

 

“He did love me.” Raziel whispered, his voice was shaking, he knew deep down he was right, he had to be right but the elder did make a good point. A very good point.

 

“YOU CANNOT EVEN CONVINCE YOURSELF OF THAT LET ALONE ME. I WHO SEES EVERYTHING, EVEN YOUR HEART. I SEE THE DOUBT AND FEAR IN YOU.” Raziel sighed and stood again as if to leave, he did not want to have this argument, he knew he would lose, he had never been a very skilled debater; that talent had gone to Rahab. “YOU DOUBT HIS HONESTY AS YOU SHOULD AND YOU FEAR THE SWORD.” God damn that monster, Raziel turned and hissed, his hatred of being reminded of that weapon, of that fate still raw and bleeding “IT IS NOT THE SWORD THAT YOU SHOULD FEAR BUT HIM.” “IF HE WERE DESTROIED THEN YOU WOULD BE SAFE.”

 

“It was not him who hurt me before. It was the sword; he was the one who saved me.” Raziel felt smug now that he had found a great loophole in the elders argument, the sword hadn’t been anywhere near Kain when it had almost consumed him, it had been himself who had held the sword, no one else just he. It had been Kain who had pulled it from him, Kain who had saved him at least for now.

 

“BECAUSE HE STILL DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE WILL DO, WHAT BEST SUITS HIS OWN SELFISH NEEDS.” The elder spoke loud, the walls around shaking with the vibration of his voice.

 

“What?” Raziel frowned, it was true Kain had seemed a little disorientated when he had pulled the sword as if the memories he had gained as a result had taught him something he had not realized. Something that he had not planned for. But Kain had as of late anyway always seemed to know exactly what was happening, why then at that crucial moment had he looked so surprised, so afraid and what was it he had tried to say as Raziel had slipped away from him into the spectral realm.

 

“HE HAD TERRIFIED YOU INTO SEEKING REFUGE HERE WITH ME; HE IS USING YOUR OWN FEAR TO KEEP YOU HERE, IMPRISONED UNTIL HE HAS A USE FOR YOU ONCE MORE.” Raziel swallowed; if that was Kain’s true intention then it was working like a charm he was keeping himself here, the fear of the sword to great for him to risk his own life in the material realm, to great to risk his sanity, his life and his freedom. “THEN WHEN HE IS FINISHED WITH YOU, YOU WILL BE IMPRISONED IN THE BLADE.”

 

“But he saved me.” Raziel repeated.

 

“A TEMPOARY MEASURE. IF HE TRULY WISHED TO SAVE YOU FROM THE BLADE WHY HAS HE NOT DESTROIED IT.” Raziel felt like he had been hit in the face with a war hammer. It was true, pulling the blade from Raziel was a temporary measure, so why hadn’t he done something more permanent, why hadn’t he destroyed the blade. True it was said that the blade could not be broken but Kain had broken it before. Raziel winced Kain had used his head to break that damned blade. Why couldn’t he find another way, why hadn’t Kain used his ability to move through the time stream to go back t when the blade was made and stop it? Why hadn’t he?

 

“YOU KNOW WHY HE HAS NOT.” The elder sounded like he was smiling.

 

True Kain had always held the reaver with reverence, always. It was impossible to think of him ever destroying that blade. It was a part of him as much a part of him as his eyes were, his arms, his mouth; no Kain would never sacrifice that blade.

 

The way he had scarified him.

 

Maybe the elder was right, Kain had had many sons why was Raziel the only one that got gifted with such attention, why not Turel, Turel who was so much better than he. True Raziel knew he was stronger than Turel but he was also more stubborn, more prone to tantrums, less help when help was needed. Turel was more organized than Raziel to, always ready no matter the situation and the others respected him, they feared Raziel . . . but they only feared him because he was favored, so really it was not he they were afraid of but rather Kain, or Kain’s reaction should they harm or anger Raziel.

 

They were afraid of him, of his temper. While Raziel had never been afraid, never afraid and completely unsuspecting that he would ever harm him. The spoilt prince kept free of all knowledge of his own fate.

 

“YOU ARE STARTING TO UNDERSTAND MY RAZIEL.”

 

But Kain had saved him, he had loved him, he rarely said it but he had shown it often. He had trusted him, had placed his life in Raziel’s hands and had done nothing to stop the attack. He had even attempted jokes, pathetic as they were and had laughed at his child’s which was even worse than his. Why, why would he go to such efforts when he could just as simply use violence? But then Raziel stopped and thought, the elder had used threats and violence as had Moebius and they hadn’t worked at all, but Kain had used soft words, gentle emotions and breath taking touches and Raziel knew he had been putty in his fathers hands. So maybe just maybe . . .

 

The elder was right.

 

End Fic

 

Authoress note: Short, pointless not sure what it’s meant to mean really lol but it just kind of flowed out.

 

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