Chapter one

 

Heaven: Pearly Gates.

 

Aurelius was not pleased. In fact he was more than not pleased, Aurelius was annoyed.

 

Instead of lounging delicately on an ivory cloud sipping nectar from flume glasses made from ice with all the other angles Aurelius was stuck outside the pearly gates, in an uncomfortable golden chair, doing someone else’s job.

 

Times like this he hated Peter and all the other ex-human’s. Normally he would just scoff at them and occasionally make a sarcastic comment or drop nectar on them from his cloud, but today he really hated them. It was bad enough that Heaven had been made for angles and was now nearly over run with ex-humans.

 

Aurelius could remember a time when you couldn’t turn around without colliding with white fluffy feathers and golden halos but now all you collided with was ex-Mortal half-wits. And if that wasn’t bad enough they had formed a union.

 

Peter had set up the ex-human union once he realized you didn’t get paid for sitting outside the pearly gates, you didn’t get holiday time either. The union had gone all the way to the top and demanded holiday time, they tried for sick leave as well but that idea failed miserably when it was pointed out that dead people tended not to get sick.

 

Basically to avoid another war in heaven or at least a strike the ex-humans had gotten their way. Every century or two they were granted a holiday, a month or so when they did nothing but enjoy the fruits of heaven or earth, all expenses paid.

 

This meant that some one had to fill in for them.

 

Aurelius grumbled quietly ruffling his wing tips to show his distaste for this act. Angles were not meant to do manual labor, they were meant to sit there and look angelic that was their job and you didn’t here them complaining, or forming a union.

 

Perched on the high back of the golden chair, Aurelius leaned forward and opened the dusty ledger for lack of anything else better to do, squinting through the dust cloud that arose with the opening of the ledger. Peter was constantly using the union to try and get a few computer terminals sent out here from head office, saying the book system was out of date and slow, but in case he hadn’t noticed business wasn’t exactly booming but then again Peter was only human . . . once. They tended not to notice the truth even when it was staring them in the face, they called this optimism.

 

Scanning silver eyes over the short list Aurelius tried to translate Peter’s awful scrawl, the long curly letters that were Peter’s attempt at scripture had come out more like a drunken snake attempting yoga. After a few failed attempts at reading it Aurelius gave up and shut the ledger, before leaning back into his previous perched position.

 

Above Aurelius the clouds parted majestically revealing the tunnel, lightning streaked across the opening and thunder rumbled ominously. Aurelius rolled his eyes and drummed manicured nails on the ledger, they should get a new tunnel system this one had gotten cheesy, left over from the days when God was vengeful and thunder obsessed.

 

The soul came tumbling down the tunnel and landed quietly at the foot of Peter’s podium.  Aurelius waited a moment before opening the ledger once more and running a delicate finger down his list.

 

“Charley Knot” he muttered finally managing to translate Peter’s writing, the human looked around worriedly. Aurelius waited for a reply, resting his chin on his hands and staring fixedly at the human, taking a sadistic delight in the human’s obvious discomfort. Charley stared back for a moment taking in the dramatic creature in front of him.

 

“Are you Saint Peter” Charley asked in nervous wonderment, Aurelius snorted, humans always asked stupid questions.

 

“Pete’s in Disney land for a week” Aurelius muttered returning to the ledger trying hard to translate the rest of Peter’s awful script writing.

 

“Filling in huh” Charley asked with a nervous smile

 

“Listen you” Aurelius snapped glaring over the ledger “if I were in your position I’d shut up”

 

Aurelius sighed loudly, he hated having humans around but he hated having to talk to them even more. Charley shuffled his feet and spoke again

 

“So give it to me straight doc”

 

And with that last comment Aurelius slammed a small pail fist down hard on an ominous looking button, Charley went down.  All the way down.

 

Aurelius helped himself to a small smile and a contented sigh.

 

Time passes slowly outside the pearly gates, technically it passes at the same speed as everywhere else but it felt as if father time had taken up with the union and had been replaced by an elderly slug with arthritis, who carried time on its back. With business this slow anyone would think earth full of nothing but sinners, that surprisingly was not true but it was close.

 

Aurelius now to board for words had slumped over the golden high backed chair, laying on his front, his legs and an arm flopped limply over the arm rests, his head buried in his other arm, half asleep. Another soul fell from the tunnel and without a word Aurelius dropped a dainty fist onto the button and yawned delicately.

 

The tunnel began to close, thunder rolling loudly and over dramatically as it did, but over the thunder a determined squawk could be heard as a small black feathery mess hurtled through the tunnel seconds before it closed with a last crack of lightening. A few singed black feathers fell to the ground.

 

The raven collapsed on the podium and gasped for breath, before attempting to put out the small fire on his tail. Once it had gotten it’s breath back it drew itself up and puffed out its feathery chest, spread its wings and . . . it stopped noting that the sleeping angle was paying not attention. 

 

The raven cawed loudly, when no attention was paid it cawed again, a pail hand tried in vain to shoo it away, dodging the hand the raven hopped over and landed heavily on Aurelius’ hair, it waited a moment before peaking hard.

 

Aurelius jerked upwards blinking rapidly; the raven pin wheeled backwards before landing on the desk on its singed tail.

 

“What” Aurelius snapped

 

“Thank you very much” the raven snapped right back “I see it’s holiday time again”

 

“What do you want” Aurelius said through clenched bleached white teeth

 

“I have a message” the Raven huffed holding out a leg attached to which was a small scroll, when the angle only glared it snapped “you’re the one with the fingers, I can’t untie this” it sighed impatiently as ivory fingers untied the scroll from its leg.

 

Aurelius pulled a face before opening the scroll and beginning to read, the red pointy lettering catching his attention instantly. A sense of foreboding settled in the angel’s stomach.

 

“Your welcome” the raven snapped “I said . . .  aarrrggggg” the bird was hit with the ledger and landed in a crumpled heap of feathers at the foot of the podium, once again the button was pressed and the bird went down, back whence it came.

 

Once the bird was gone Aurelius continued reading, the scroll was long and took a long time to get to the point, daemon’s liked the sound of their own voices even on paper. Right at the foot of the scroll added on almost as an after thought was the point.

 

“Oh dear” he whispered to himself.

 

Hell: Customs

 

Sarakiel was waiting; he had always been good at waiting, very patient, an unusual quality for one of the fallen. Pulling up his red shirt sleeve to reveal jet black shiny scales covering the lower half of his arms and his watch, he frowned, fifteen minuets had passed, it should not be taking his long. He tapped is chin with a hooked nail as he thought, maybe he should have just used the phone rather than the typical raven delivery.

 

He snorted and handed a form across his desk to a rather worried looking woman in a night dress. She staired at the form for a few moments in silence then looked back up to Sarakiel,

 

“I think there’s been a mix up” she said quietly

 

Sarakiel smiled warmly to her, she managed a shaky one back

 

“I don’t think so sweet heart” he said kindly and turned his monitor around to show her the screen, he brought up her life file “Lisa Turner, Robbery, drug dealing, embezzlement” he paused and looked at her “it goes on like this” he warned and turned the monitor back to himself, his smile widened “your in the perfect place honey”

 

The woman stepped away shaking. Sarakiel shook his head smiling as one would at a young child who had made a foolish yet unimportant mistake, really humans now a days he remembered the good old days when if you swore you expected to end up in Hell, but now with all the movies people thought they could talk their way out of anything, it was embarrassing to watch them try.

 

The rather large fire that was the only entrance to Hell roared once again as another unfortunate ex-human plummeted outwards into Customs and looked around worriedly.

 

He glanced at his watch again it was pushing half an hour, maybe he should phone. Raven or Dove delivery used to be the only means of communication between top and bottom but now with new technology it was simpler and more reliable, but it lost the dramatic edge.

 

All the new technology also gave Hell an advantage, for some reason business programmers and the like were far more likely to come down than go up. But scanning his eyes over Customs it seemed to Sarakiel that everyone was coming down.  

 

A small dirty green gremlin pulled on his sleeve, jerking him back to reality  

 

“He’s here” the gremlin muttered before slinking back, disappearing into one of the holes in the brimstone  

 

Sarakiel smiled to himself again and waited for a few seconds then pulled sun glasses from his breast pocket and placed them over crimson eyes. The few sub-daemons in Customs looked at him in a rather confused manor before shrugging to each other and going back to work, they would never understand the fallen.

 

The light was subtle to start with but it increased in intensity surprisingly quickly. Sub-daemons began shielding their eyes and crying out before trying to find cover among the crevices in the walls. Sarakiel placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands, unlike his demonic underlings he still found light to be beautiful, painful to him now but still beautiful. The ex-humans crowding Customs, gazed to one of the brimstone walls which was the source of the light. Then Hell froze over.

 

The brimstone wall began to freeze, the ice on its surface grew until it was easily large enough to fit a man then stopped. The temperature remained the same scorching heat that Hell was famous for. The light continued to grow. The shouts reached a peak as Aurelius walked through the ice looking like thunder and glowing like lightning.

 

The angel stood still for a moment staring through the crowd before he started towards Sarakiel flinching involuntary as bare feet touched strangely warm brimstone.

 

“Still filling in for Pete” Sarakiel smirked as Aurelius stopped at his desk

 

“Do you still have them” Aurelius asked sharply, his glow increased as did his temper

 

“Would it kill you to say thanks for hanging on to them” Sarakiel asked smirking

 

“you didn’t do it for free Sarakiel, what do I owe you” Aurelius’ left wing half opened sharply before it closed, he was getting fidgety Hell usually did this to him, it was the brimstone.

 

“Just say you owe me a favor” Sarakiel liked the idea of having an angle indebted to him

 

“Fine . . . . Where are they” Aurelius’ silver eyes scanned Customs for the four innocents he had sent here

 

“Stinking up my back room, I’ll have to have it fumigated now” Sarakiel tried to look upset, he loved antagonizing Aurelius he had always loved it.  

 

Aurelius’ wings fluffed as he grunted in an un-angelic fashion and walked through the crowd that was always in Hell’s Customs these days. A feminine hand grabbed the bottom of his robe; another embedded itself in his moonlight hair, he glared down at the woman who looked up at him begging him for the salvation angles were supposed to bring. Aurelius let out a low hiss before jerking his robe out of her grasp easily, she fell to her knees weeping pathetically, Aurelius sneered and walked on to Sarakiel’s back room.

 

The four he had sent here coward together on a cheep plastic bench, that had half melted, Charley was whimpering, another male was leaning gently on a female who held a young girl in her arms. All sat huddling together. Aurelius just looked at them until they noticed him, the woman started crying, relieved that the daemon had not lied, the rest just stared. Aurelius continued to look at them a moment, to tense to take the usual sadistic delight at human discomfort, before nodding and turning, the ex-humans just looked at him bewildered

 

“Do you want to stay here” he snapped impatiently

 

Instantly they were behind him, forming a chain, clinging to each other, a small hand buried itself in his robe as he started back through customs, ignoring the child’s hand.

 

 A few sinners tried to tag onto the innocents as they made their way back through Customs behind their angel but were quickly redirected by sub-daemons armed with electric cattle prods. With one last jibe from Sarakiel Aurelius and his innocents where quickly taking the direct route back to the pearly gates.