Chapter 9
His hesitant fingers wrapped around the knob of the door and he
glanced back one last time to the bathroom door, thinking of the woman behind
it. They were comfortable around each other now, like the way they were
comfortable around each other before Trish chipped that bone in her
ankle and left the Federation. It was just a naturalness that settled into
Jeff's heart and kept him warm every time he took a breath in.
Jeff peeled open the door just slightly, peeking his head outside.
When he saw her, he knew his moments with Trish were slowly ending. He
fabricated a small smile for Amy Dumas, his friend. "Morning Jeff," Amy chimed, laying a hand on the door to push it
further ajar. "Gee, morning Amy," Jeff snickered, easing the door open for her to
enter. He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't know how he should
react. But Trish was still behind that door, still apart of his world.
"Are you dressed yet Jeff? We're leaving for the airport shortly so
we can make it to the arena in time for Stephanie and Vince to go over the
matches and storylines for tonight," Amy stated, glancing around the room with
perplexity. She kicked around a few clothes before looking up at Jeff,
an eyebrow arched with confusion.
"Do you want me to help you with your bag or do you think you've got
it now?" Trish asked, the door to the bathroom swinging open as she walked
out, brush in hand again. She stopped when she spied Amy standing nearby,
disbelief etching a permanent scar into her eyes. Trish's face lost
feeling and she could only glance over to Jeff for assistance.
"Amy, it's not what you think," Jeff said automatically and he wasn't
talking to Beth, was he? Amy was like a sister to him, but he didn't
owe her anything. He didn't have to explain why Trish was in his room, why
he wanted her there with him. "Yeah, Lita, this is totally different than it looks. There is
absolutely nothing going on between myself and Jeff," Trish asserted, raising her
hands to emphasize her point. She glanced at Jeff and a ghost washed over
it. Did her words hurt him? Weren't they the truth? There was nothing
going on between them, just inside of her. Just a feeling flaming in her heart.
Amy's head and eyes drifted between the two, curiosity ruling her
appearance. She folded her arms over her chest and peered at Trish
disapprovingly. She cared. She cared maybe a little too much because
this was Jeff. This wasn't Vince or Andrew or Adam. It was Jeff. It was a
man that took care of her when she needed him. This time, it was her
friend. "Doesn't matter. I trust Jeff and know he's not doing anything
stupid," Amy declared, dropping her arms. She slipped her hands into the back
pockets of her jeans and waited for Trish to reply, utter something
that would leave Amy disgusted.
"Neither of us did anything stupid, Amy. Trish was..." Trish lifted a
hand and stopped Jeff. She shook her head and sighed. She thought she was
accepted. She thought she and Amy were friends, but everything has its
limits. Trish crossed a boundary. She entered the world that was
build exclusively for Team Xtreme, not her. "I'm going to go find Adam," Trish said simply, gripping her brush
tightly as she tried not to drowned in her feelings. She wasn't supposed to
feel this. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She was just supposed to be numb.
Jeff scrunched up his nose when Trish strolled out of the room,
leaving his world behind. He looked back to Amy, her less than flattering
expression leaving him silent.
"Jeff, babe, you just broke up with Beth a few weeks ago. Trish is a
nice person, but that's not the road you should go down," Amy insisted,
walking toward Jeff. Jeff shook his head and groaned loudly. Amy and Matt always knew
best, right? "No one's going down any road, Amy. She was locked out of her room, I
let her stay here and we just talked. That's it. No one made any moves on
anyone. It's just Trish."
"It's just the same Trish that you were stuck on for a little while
this past summer. It's the same Trish that kissed you in the middle of the
ring knowing you had a girlfriend," Amy exclaimed, standing before Jeff with
her arms raised. She eyed him, didn't let him move away because he needed
to hear this. "That was part of the storyline Amy. It wasn't real," Jeff huffed.
That's what he told himself every night when the kiss crossed his mind. It
wasn't real. It was never real.
"Do you like her?" Amy inquired, a hopeless tone coating her voice.
She ran her fingers through her auburn hair, awaiting an answer from Jeff
with desperation softening her anger. "Sure, she's Trish. I mean, she's your friend too," Jeff responded
quickly, walking away f from Amy. He gathered his clothing from around
the room while Amy groaned. He couldn't answer that question now. He
still needed a moment with his feelings. He needed to write a poem,
something to express what his mind seemed unable to. Maybe it would come together
on paper? Maybe it had already and he just hadn't looked for it?
"Do you have feelings for her? Do you want her as more than a
friend?" Amy asked, her voice raised because she couldn't deal with Jeff running
from her questions. She desired to know. She needed a path to walk, a way to
approach him. She needed a way to approach Trish. She just needed
Matt because it was too much for her to deal with alone. "I can't answer those questions right now Amy," Jeff whispered,
lowering his head. His hair cascaded around his face and he sighed. He
couldn't even answer the question for himself.
"Fuck. Meet us downstairs in ten minutes Jeff."
When she left the room, he was partly relieved. It was enough though.
The feelings were still abound. He still had no true escape from what was
happening. And hadn't he felt this way before? For Beth maybe? He
thinks it's more for Trish but he just can't deal with it. Now when he's just
understanding what it means to be single and without someone to care
for every breath that he took. He needs this constant silence to aid him
in being just Jeff Hardy and nothing more. But his thoughts won't let him
have that.
*Chp9*
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