| Don't Leave december 22, 1998 i fall to the ground i lift my eyes up and wonder Where You are, why You came How Your love could still remain Oh my heart was broken And then broken anew Broken for You As the tears roll from my eyes i feel both pain and joy inside Your love envelopes me But i just cannot see i know You're all around me Why can't i see or feel or hear? These are my tears Oh to die would be ideal To go Home to see You Dad. But i know that's not Your will for my life So i will praise You O Lord, With all of my heart Though i walk in the midst of trouble Lord you do everything for me Lord your love remains forever Oh don't leave me Lord, Your child Don't leave me Lord Your child. |
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| desperate need winter '00 all i wanted was to follow You to do your will in it's entirety though hard i try, i have failed to listen yet again and i am weak oh I so i need well i come to You once more time and time again on my face, cry outloud rescue me from my hand but i am weak oh Lord, so in need my love is fleeting my heart is needing my soul is bleeding i need You. oh my love is fleeting my heart is needing my soul is bleedfing i need You. oh i, am weak and i'm so in need so i come to You... |
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| Enough September 23rd, 2000 Loving Hands, cover my wounds, i'm in pieces unsacrificed. Groan, Spirit. Speak for me, O Sweet breath of life breathe through me. Why can't it be enough? Dissatisfaction pierces as desire Longs to unfold; to seek... to love... to hold... i was bought at a price, this pain is not mine To enjoy. The words my aching heart won�t let go, And bitter tears cloud my soul. How can It not be enough? Burnt offerings mock the Josiah within As Black Emptiness and Longing become me. Bruised knees and tired eyes Wait for words to heal, yet Selfish Hands Cover my ears. O but how? The flow knows not time but pain Please, let it be enough. |
| in these times of trouble, Lord you bring me peace. Every hour, Every moment, You are with me. As i walk down life's twisted paths Lord, you bring me peace. Every tear, Every joy, You are with me. |
| heartache april 4, 2000 her heart, so impure her tears like drops of blood long for home the message he brings is of love but what is there here? nothing but faces empty faces. masks cover her walls with promises, short lived. Whatever happened to home? green grass & red cars high hopes walking on cliffs oh Lord she cries Why put me here on this window-sill of shame? like a child she grasps for what she cannot attain. So alone in this world where love is but air. Breathe in, breath out eyes closed but for a moment she holds the picture in her mind Where tears become blood and wash away... |
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| i came to you with a heart full of pain you took one simple look at me and wiped my tears away with arms open wide you drew me to your side and you said, "Child, i've been waiting for you" I'll be your shoulder to cry on I'll be the one who'll never leave come rest your weary head on me, child ...and worry no more |
| Events and circumstance I cannot hide Your light i want to shine through me So as i walk This road of life Lord thank you for the peace you bring me |
| "And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" I was down and lonely You picked me up and showed me life There were times when all was laughter Sometimes i laughed while my heart cried I didn't know what i needed If i had You in my life But you wrapped me in your arms And said, "child your heart is right" |
| Lord, Be August 26th, 2000 LORD, be my strength Lord, be my light Lord, be the love of my life Lord, be my peace LORD, be my strength Lord, be my conqueror Lord, be my fear and protector Lord, be my strength little girl in Daddy's arms reaches out to heal the world never seeing danger 'till she's burned Lord, be my strength LORD, be my light Lord, be all i see Lord, be the fire that becomes me Lord, be my light as i walk this winding road with my blindness i see all that i could never dream to behold Lord, be my light LORD, be my love Lord, be my one desire Lord, be the joy that fills my cup Lord, be my Love thoughts of walking on alone blow harsh like coldest winds Bitter Lonelyness, draw me near to Him Lord, be my Love LORD, be my peace Lord, be my calm Lord, be the hand my hope comes from Lord, be my peace dark and narrow stretch for miles shivering afflictions, fear Lord, how am i to carry on...for years... Lord, be my peace LORD, be my strength Lord, be my light Lord, be the love of my life Lord, be my peace Lord, be my peace Lord, be my... |
You feel so far away, Can't you see that I am with you? You say no one cares My heart pours out sympathy You think no ones been there I've suffered ten-fold I feel your hurts I know your needs I've cried your tears I'll hold your hand. |
| Hope sometimes i fall sometimes i'm weak sometimes i cry and for these i seek at times i forget but His love will not forget me sometimes i loose sight there've been times i've lost more but always, oh always His arms find me again. I will be safe in His embrace once more this time I hope to stay. i'm not strong enough to fail i'm too weak, too frail i cannot survive in this world of no hope. of no home. yet with Him by my side and with Him in my heart i will not fail isn't that what it says? my heart tells me as it cries for joy for pain so i will seek though sometimes i cry though sometimes i'm weak though sometimes i fall to heavy hands lifting mine of lifelessness |
| bloodrage 12-01 anger consumes my heart you make me wanna go too far don't take me into the deep, my scars won't shake me i want the peace from blood selfishness still rules my heart breaks in the cage, too cruel my flesh aches how can ya hold me now? my blood makes everything slow down falling to my knees in desperation has it come to this once again? blood mixed with tears and perspiration can't i be broken? can't i be broken? Lord make me broken |
| how embarrasing it is to call again my abuse of grace is blinding breaking, i breathe but it's a struggle... |
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| suicide 1992 or 3 fifty feet up the wind blows hard, the pain is making me cry the pain is deep inside of me i jump i fall i die |
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| Words of Praise July 28, 1998 Are there even words that can come from my lips? Is it possible to proclaim a love so great, greater than life, greater than death. Greater than the number of all the stars in the heavens. Are there days when i do not feel your love? I can no longer see a day without your hand guiding my heart, my eyes, how they long to see your face! Shining in glory above all. Are there things i could desire that you ahven't already given me? What was so empty and meaningless before is now full. And how is that? Who am i, to have a life cast down? Who am i to be forgiven? I am but dust formed by a loving hand into something beautiful. By the same hand which put the sun in a sky of orange and violet in the evening. I still cannot comprehend. I wish to understand. I wish to know you more. Help me know you more. you made me for a reason which i am only begining to uncover. I am so feeble, so weak. Break me, make me new again. |
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| november 27th, 2000 H a n d s O (but t e r flies) Me he art f al lingEr �i hope |
| "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit" ~ps. 34:18 december 22, 1998 |
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| a sonnet for Maria... 12-00 humble heart before her smile does show her mother's pride, a gleam in daddy's eye this precious child will marry soon, her beau. her heart was right, her faith looked to the sky. but terror strikes again when crimson missed disgusted family turns their eyes away from lies; it can't be true she's never kissed. alone and scared for answers she must pray. with tears she looks to her true love who plans to turn away; his heart will take the girl with child, not his. Somehow, they understand. All fear and pain and joy and love unfurl. a cold and clear late eve, the babe is born the angels sing their glorias, no more shall morn. |
| this page last updated on: |
| Sunday, January 20th, 2002 |
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| side note... none of these pictures are mine, i'm a big fat thief. if you'd like to know where they came from, i've linked to the site where i found each picture, click on it. |
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