THE STORY OF ANTHONY

“Anthony is dead,” said my Mother one hot day, about 3 months ago. “He fell off a Coconut tree.”

It was quite a while before the news sank into me as I try hard not to doze off. One thing you can say for sure about Kedah afternoons – they are hot. And they are hot all the year round.

“It’s kind of ironic don’t you think ? The way Anthony died…. master climber and all..”

“Ironic ? Yes, and you can say poetic too. Master Destiny has his ways…”

The subject person, as I remember, was an Indian, probably from South India. Short, slightly built with a round middle, he was always seen barefooted and clad with only a cotton loincloth and a turban.  His skin was not too dark and his face reminded one of the native man of Australia rather than the sharp features associated with the Dravidians.

When he came to our village some thirty years ago, he was more than a complete stranger. He went by no name. None,  until my father decided to call him “Anthony” one day. And “Anthony” it was to the villagers henceforth.

Anthony’s forte was climbing the tall Coconut trees to drop down the ripe fruits. Such a feat would earn him a few kupangs. No one knew for sure where he lived. He would come to the village, climb a few trees or do some miscellaneous jobs and inconspicously dissapear.

“And you remember his smile ?”

“Now, who could forget his smile…teeth all colored by the Sireh and betel nut…he!..he!..he!.”

“I wonder what happened…,”remarked Harun, my brother.

“Eh ?”

“I  mean….am not being philosophical here, but you  must understand…he was after all a master climber. How could he lose his grip ?

“What is there to wonder ? Is it not said that all is written ? ...like they say in the Holy Book…when the  time is up…you know….you have to go”

“Ya.., that I know..but I just cannot help thinking about that critical moment, that decisive moment when Anthony acted Destiny’s plan….you could almost say that split of a second when Anthony and Destiny were one….”

This last remark from my brother brought me back from the past. The question of free will and pre-destination had been of interest to me during my early days in Secondary school. There were many a literature on the subject, particularly religious bent, but I don’t remember ever reading them in any great detail.

And now, in my forties, and after going through the ups and downs of existence, that which we call “daily life”, I am almost convinced that the mystery of free will vis-a-vis pre-destination is one that can only be understood from the point of view of Self-discovery. Here’s what I mean….

free will = egocentric viewpoint, the “I” of a person, like I, Anthony…that crass individuality.
pre-destination =  a viewpoint that precludes the existence of the ego
the “integrated man” = an integrated and conscious person acting out a single will (not my will but thy  will)

A person starts with the egoistic individuality, go through the milling press of the day-to-day experiences and, if he is lucky, gains insight into his inter-relatedness to the bigger whole….

That is as best as I could to put things into words. Now, I am not pegging this point of view or state of being on any form of external influence but one, which I believe, has been painfully gained through the rigors of daily life. Each day is like a page of a great book of lessons.

“I guess we will never know…”, droned Harun

“Only Anthony knew….but he is not here to tell….”