The following is an excerpt from Martha Beck’s book Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming The Life You Were Meant To Live. She is an awesome author and a Harvard PhD. You will find a gentle heart and true wisdom. Good luck on your path.
Your Own Worst-Case Scenario Build-Up List (circle the worst of each and write in next page.
A: Your lowest-energy situations
B: Three people who bring out your very worst social behavior
C: Worst medical symptoms
D: Most forgettable information
E: Stupidest mistakes
F: Your most sleep-disturbing problems
G: Worst bad-habit triggers
H: Your bad-mood situations
Your Own Worst-Case Scenario
Imagine for a moment that you are in (A: your lowest-energy situation)
You are surrounded by (B: All three names on your list)
You’re not feeling your best; In fact, your (C: worst medical symptom)
Is bothering you more than ever before.
You’ve been given a lifetime assignment that involves working with (D: most forgettable information)
All the people in the room are authorized to watch you constantly, criticize your performance, and punish you if you make any mistakes
Speaking of mistakes, you’ve just done (E: stupidest mistake)
a fact that is being noted by your three supervisors. Your life in general is pretty difficult right now; that whole thing with (F: most sleep-disturbing problem)
is happening all over again. You’re also trying to deal with (G: worst bad-habit trigger)
To top it off, (H: your bad-mood situation)
is more intense than ever before.
Just when things are at their worst, (B-1: the person who makes you most uncomfortable)
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walks up. He or she orders you to sit up politely, smile in a way that is both humble and worshipful, and say to the entire assembly, “ I admire you so much. Thank you, thank you for letting me be here. You are such a terrific person, and this is just what I deserve. I want to live this way for the rest of my life.”
Pay attention to your own reaction. How do you feel? Rotten, I hope. If you vividly imagine this horrible situation, you’ll experience your own particular blend of anger, despair, illness, and anxiety. This should reach a peak when you imagine facing the person you hate most and turning over all your power to change anything. Whatever you feel in that moment is the sensation of your essential self saying, “NO!”
Your Own Best Case Scenario Build-Up List
A: Your most high-energy activities
B: Your favorite people
C: Your best health situation
D: The information you remember most easily
E: Activities that make you forget time
F: The people or situations that creates your Urge to Merge
G: Your best mood settings
It’s an incredibly beautiful day. The air is clear, the scenery dazzling, and you’re setting out to do (A: your most high-energy activity)
with (B: your favorite person)
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You’ve got no other responsibilities, no immediate deadlines, and no major problems weighing you down. You feel great, even better than you did back when you were (C: your best health situation)
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In fact, you’re in the best physical shape of your life: strong, lean, robust, and full of energy.
You’re having a great conversation about (D: the information you remember most easily)
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when a message arrives for you. It’s a letter from the president, saying that you have been chosen to receive a lifetime of financial support for doing (E: the activity that makes you forget time) ________________________________________________________________
This will require you to spend a lot of time with (F: the person or situation that creates your Urge to Merge)
You feel just the way you did when (G: your best mood setting)
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happened only more so. Lie back for a minute, take in the scenery , and enjoy knowing that this is basically how you’re going to spend the rest of your life.
Notice how you feel. There’s a considerable evidence that just visualizing this scene greatly increases the likelihood that you’ll experience something like it at some point in the future. In fact, no matter how impossibly wonderful it may appear, the scenario above is only a pale shadow of the splendid realities you’ll find on the the path to your own North Star. Even if it’s nothing but an alluring tickle, push the objections aside and move into this feeling of “Yes!!” Believe it or not, this sensation—not pain, not self-sacrifice, not stoic numbness—is the surest indicator that you’re on the path that will lead you to fulfilling relationships, a productive career, and the best possible effect you can have on the world. Keep turning toward it as best you can, and eventually you’ll find yourself headed due north.