| Things not to say to your folks back home |
| Mum, Dad, I've decided to come out of the closet. |
| Wow, drugs are really cheap here. |
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| It was so cool, we all got arrested! |
| Can I still be a lawyer with a criminal record. |
| I'm moving in with my lecturer. |
| I've gotta go now but don't believe what the papers say about me. It wasn't my fault. |
| I thought you'd be happy. This job at the massage parlour means I don't have to ask you for money anymore. |