| Dictionary |
| These terms aren't unique to UniSA or even to South Oz but hopefully they'll strike a chord with the reader no matter where you are.............. |
| ALL NIGHTER: Any similarity to great sex is purely co-incidental (although you're usually still shagged the next day). This actually refers to the times when you stay up all night either 1)cramming for the exam, 2)finishing the assignment by the last minute of the due date, or, 3)finishing the assignment by the last minute of the due date of the extension. Interesting Note: Since assignments are now done on PC's the only way to detect a person has pulled an all nighter is when they collapse at a nearby desk and exclaim "Fuck I'm so tired" and rest their head on the desk. |
| CAFETERIA FOOD: An oxymoron, meaning the first and second word are usually mutually exclusive (eg: military intelligence). |
| DUE DATE: For suckers and people without the gift of the gab. Usually the date when assignments are due. Generally the last possible day to ask for an extension. |
| EXTENSION: Used to describe the fact that you started your assignment 24 hours before the DUE DATE (see above) and then realised that short of time travel there is no possible way to have it finished in time. Usually extensions are granted to people with the best excuse. |
| BEER MACHINE: Any ATM inside or just outside of the licenced premises that provides last minute assistance in your pursuit of alcoholic oblivion. Usually accessed after a dozen beers or four hours (whichever comes sooner). |
| IN THE ZONE: You've got your assignment back and for some reason you've got a Distinction, the girls are smiling at you (for now), the beer tastes lovely (for now), you're with your mates and all life is good (for now). |
| BEAN BAG: A wonderful dual purpose piece of furniture that serves as a chair for sober people and a bed for drunk people |
| FRIEND OF A FRIEND: A fictitious character to enable you to tell outrageous lies and get away with it (eg: "A friend of a friend had a threesome with them"). |
| BOUNCER: A big sober person who throws you out when you are just starting to enjoy yourself. Note: not known for their sense of humour so be very careful. |
| ORIENTATION WEEK: Time to inflict the indignities on others that you had to endure in the first week of your first year. Always involves everyone drinking massive amounts of alcohol and wearing the same stupid T-shirt. |
| PRINT LOCK: Similar to gridlock. When some inconsiderate bastard attempts to download and print off The Encylopedia Britannica and when it the printer jams or takes too long they just walk away without cancelling the job. For some reason always happens when you're in a hurry. |
| If you have any other examples of "Unispeak" then email them to me and I'll put 'em on here with an acknowledgement. |