REDDING, CA – HARBOR HIGH – APR.10th, 2002 – WEDNESDAY

     “What?” Ashley asked right after Cindy’s announcement.

     “That’s exactly what you heard, Ashley. Your girlfriend is a little bitch! She kissed my boyfriend!” Cindy was talking only to Ashley as if Kirstin wasn’t even there. And Kirstin wished she wasn’t even there. She couldn’t believe Jared had told Cindy about their kiss. She looked around looking for Jared, but he was no where in sight.

     “When?” Ashley asked in a low tone of voice. He couldn’t believe a few seconds ago he was feeling guilty for a phrase he said to Kirstin. Kirstin should be the one feeling that way if she had indeed kissed Jared.

     “Sunday!” Cindy exclaimed.

     “Last Sunday?” Ashley asked.

     “Yes!” Cindy answered.

     Ashley had all the information he needed from Cindy, so he went straight into Kirstin’s direction. Kirstin couldn’t look him in the eyes. She was nervously playing with her fingers and couldn’t stop staring at them. She looked up then, hoping to see Jared and kill him for telling Cindy about their kiss.

     “Is that true?” Ashley asked even not minding Kirstin was not looking at him. When he got nothing from her, he insisted “Is that true? Answer me, Kirstin! Because you made me feel terrible a while ago just for saying something to you. If that is true, you couldn’t even judge me on that line I said.” Kirstin still kept silence “Answer me!”

     “Well…” Kirstin started “I was confused and you were in Los Angeles and…”

     “Goodbye.” Ashley stated and stormed out of the gym.

     Kirstin was left sobbing. People were now gathered around the scene and were making what were clearly mean comments. Kirstin looked up and saw Cindy just a few steps away, grinning at her. She wiped the tears from her face and headed into her direction.

     “Why did you do that?” Kirstin asked when she got closer to Cindy.

     “You should never mess with me. You could never win.” Cindy said through a smile.

     “Didn’t you think it would not only hurt me if Ashley knew it, but it would hurt mostly him? I’m not crying now because I’m hurt. I’m crying because I hurt him when I stupidly kissed Jared.”

     “I don’t care why you’re crying, as long as you are.” Cindy said seriously.

     “I can’t believe you. I don’t know why you hate me so much.”

     “You don’t deserve Ashley.”

     “I’m starting to think so, too. But you’re not the one to judge, because you don’t know me or Ashley to be so sure about that.”

     “Oh, I know Ashley.” Cindy did an evil smile.

     “Whatever.” Kirstin rolled her eyes “Just answer me this one question… Are you happy? Are you genuinely happy knowing that you destroyed my life? Not only my life, but Ashley’s too?”

     “I am.” Cindy wrapped her arms around her chest, so sure of herself.

     “Right.” It took a while for Kirstin to let it all in “Good. At least someone came out of this situation happy. It’s just too bad that it was someone who did not deserve it. But life is not always fair.” and with that, Kirstin left the gym.

 

     Kirstin sat on a bench outside Harbor High. She couldn’t stop crying, knowing that somewhere Ashley was hurt. She was tired of making Ashley feel so bad.

     ‘Maybe that’s for the best. And it’s good that it happened right after the engagement, so it shows us that we were about to make a huge mistake getting married. We don’t deserve to be with each other really. We are just wrong. We should never be. I hurt him all the time. No matter what I do, he gets hurt. He deserves way better.’

     Kirstin couldn’t keep the thoughts out of her mind. She knew Ashley wouldn’t want her back after that. She closed her eyes hoping it would all go away. Hoping she would never have to face Ashley again, so the healing process would be less painful. When she slowly opened her eyes, she saw a hand holding a tissue for her.

     “I can’t believe you told Cindy.” Kirstin took the tissue and said through her tears.

     “I’m sorry.” Jared sat down beside her “I’m just stupid. I should never have done something like that. I didn’t know I would destroy your life saying that to Cindy. I guess I was a little selfish, saying that only to make me feel better and hurt her. I’m so sorry, K, I really am. I’m just stupid and selfish and…”

     “Just stop babbling, for crying out loud.” Kirstin said nervously “I don’t want that right now. Just… why did you tell her? Why would it make you feel better?”

     “She was breaking up with me. I wanted to hurt her somehow.”

     “What?” Kirstin asked surprised “She was breaking up with you out of no where? Just like that? In the middle of the party? Everything seemed to be just like normal.”

     “It wasn’t so out of the blue.” Jared stared at his hands “We’ve had a few fights over the last couple of days and she knew why we were having those fights.”

     “Why? What happened?” Kirstin looked worried at him.

     “You showed up.” Jared stared at her eyes and gave her a weak smile.

     “No. That can’t be it.” Kirstin shook her head and looked down.

     “It is. I’m not saying I’m in love with you or something. Because I’m not.” Kirstin never thought she would ever feel relieved hearing someone was actually not in love with her “It’s just that spending these days with you made me realize that I can have someone better for myself. Cindy treats me like I’m… her dog or something. And I was tired of it, that’s why we were having so many fights these last few days. Because I got to spend time with you and I got to see that there are gorgeous girls that aren’t so mean and selfish like Cindy is.”

     “Oh, I can’t even tell you how glad I am to know that you can see that now, Jay. You do deserve better. Much better.”

     “And that’s why I told her about our kiss. I know it meant nothing for both of us, but it was just something I could use to hurt her, you know? And I guess it worked.”

     “Yes…” Kirstin looked sad.

     “And I’m so sorry that I had to get you into this fight.”

     “Yeah… But maybe it will work out for the best. Maybe I don’t deserve him.” Kirstin started to cry again.

     “Nonsense. I can’t think of a better couple than you and Ashley. I was always a bit jealous of him during highschool because I kinda had a crush on you and I knew even back then you were bound to get together, so... you are destined to be together, K. And you can’t escape destiny.”

     “I would like to be that optimistic about this whole situation as you are, Jay. But you don’t know half of our history. I’ve done some pretty, pretty big stupid things. I’ve screwed up real bad and not only once or twice. I don’t think Ashley will be able to forgive me this time. And it’s even too much to ask for his forgiveness. And I know that if I were in his place I wouldn’t be able to forgive it all, so…” Kirstin was sobbing. Jared held her tight.

     “Shhh… it’s alright. You’ll see everything will be fine. If it’s real destiny, you’ll get together. And if you don’t, maybe there’s someone out there better for you than Ashley.”

     “I don’t think there is.” Kirstin said.

     “Just try to calm down now, ok?” Jared pulled back from the hug. Kirstin nodded “Let’s go. I’ll take you home.”