NEW YORK CITY, NY – HOSPITAL – MAR. 17TH, 2002 – SUNDAY

     Tom entered the hospital room and closed the door behind him. He placed himself in the chair beside the bed and looked at Kirstin, tears starting to form in his eyes.

     “Keekee… I know you can listen, the nurse told me.” he smiled sweetly at her “I wanna tell you a lot of things… And maybe this isn’t the best time for me to be doing this, but I’m pretty sure this will be the only time I have, so… Kirstin, girl, I… we never really got the chance to sit and talk about what happened to us. I know we had that time at the restaurant when you told me that…” he swallowed hard and carried on “Well, when you told me. But we never really sat and talked about it. I know you won’t be able to talk back, and it actually kinda makes it easier for me. So, I’ll just say what I’ve been meaning to tell you since… well… forever.” he took a deep breath and continued “I never meant to cheat on you. Never in my sickest dreams was that a possibility. I loved you ever since the first time I saw you coming into Inferno. You just have this… light in you that screamed my name and I couldn’t stop staring and adoring you ever since. You captivated me that night. You had me right there. I was yours. But you didn’t know. And then one day, you noticed me. And I was happier than I could ever imagine I could be. But then you broke my heart. And left. After that, we started this amazing and incredible friendship. That’s when I saw how wonderful and amazing you are in the inside too. You make me laugh, you make me feel good… And we got together once again. And that time, I wanted to make sure you’d be mine. All mine. For eternity. But I knew that was just a dream of mine. I could never have you forever. That would just be asking too much. You were too much for me. I knew it since the beginning. But I had to take a chance. So I proposed. And when you said yes, I was sure you were kidding, or I was dreaming or something other than reality. But no, you loved me enough to accept my offer. And we got engaged. God, that was like… the time of my life. When I thought life couldn’t be any better, you accepted my proposal. I was gonna have an amazing life full of love and happiness. And you, the girl of my dreams, was having that life with me. And then…” he looked down, ashamed “I don’t know what came over me. That girl you saw me with in our… I mean, your loft, she was just this girl that was constantly at Luna and wouldn’t stop flirting with me. No matter how much I’d dismiss her, telling I was engaged and all, she just wouldn’t stop. But I’ve never really done anything until that day. I swear to you that was the only time we ever got together. I know…” he looked down again “That’s not gonna make things any better, but we just got together that time. And I didn’t even know what came over me that night to do that. I was so happy with you, Kirstin. So happy. That’s why I can’t come up with a reason for why I did it. Because, honestly? I don’t have one. Just other than I’m stupid. I’m the stupidest person in this whole world for losing you over a weakness moment. That’s what it was. A weakness moment. But I’m glad you caught me with her. You know why?” he looked tenderly at her “Because you’re so much better off without me.” Tom let a tear fall again. It was hard admitting that “I can see that Ashley is the one for you. I guess I always have. I was just afraid you were gonna see it too and leave me. That you were gonna wake up one day and realize that you were with the wrong guy. Ashley was the one for you and you had no idea why you were with me. Because I wondered that myself so many times. I didn’t know why you were with me when you clearly loved Ashley. And Ashley cleared loved you back. But I couldn’t let that happen, I couldn’t let you leave me for him. That’s what I was always afraid during our relationship. That’s why I always hated Ashley and always wanted to keep him away from you. Because maybe, if you wouldn’t see him, you wouldn’t feel anything for him. But I was just kidding myself, I guess. I saw it sometimes, but the thought of you with Ashley hurt me so much that I would overlook it, pretend I wasn’t noticing it. And it worked for a while, while we were together. My pride was my worst enemy during our relationship, I guess. But our relationship is over now. And so is my pride. Now, it hurts to see you with Ashley, of course it hurts. I still… love you, Kirstin. But I know you will never give me another chance and I wouldn’t even ask for another chance because I don’t deserve it. So, all I really am looking forward now is for your life to be better. I wanted to be part of it. That’s one of the reasons I was so excited about… our baby. Because we would still have a life together, our baby would be our link. But now… It’s over. We lost our baby and I’m sure I lost the chance of us being together somehow. I lost it all when we lost our baby. And it hurts too much. Because our baby represented so much.” Tom couldn’t control the tears running down his face “But that’s ok. You’re gonna move on, Ashley is gonna be by your side as he has always been. You’ll be fine. And that’s what I want. You to be fine. I just hope you forgive me some day. That’s all I hope for. To have your forgiveness.” Tom wiped the tears away, looked at Kirstin, leaned in to kiss her on the cheek and got up, leaving the room.

     “G, you can go now.” Tom informed as he got to the waiting room.

     Grace got up without saying a word and trailed to Kirstin’s hospital room.

     “So, how did it go?” Ashley asked when Tom sat beside him on the couch.

     “Tough too.” he nodded.

     “Yeah… I can see that.” Ashley said after realizing Tom’s face was redder than it was when he left to go to Kirstin’s room.

     “Dude, I just… wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for all the stupid things I did to you while I was with Kirstin.”

     “Hey, man, don’t worry.” Ashley looked up at him.

     “No, I really am sorry. I know I did some fucked up things, like hit you and argue with you over stupid things and all… I was basically… a jerk.” Tom recognized.

     “Yes, you basically were.” Ashley agreed and smirked at Tom.

     “Yeah…” Tom smirked too “And I’m sorry. It’s just that I…”

     “Love her, right?” Ashley asked, serious.

     “Yeah…” Tom nodded and looked down.

     “I know, man. And I was a jerk sometimes too. And I’m also sorry for that.”

     “Yeah, you were a jerk sometimes.” Tom chuckled.

     “I know. But I only did it because I…”

     “Love her. Yeah.” Tom completed Ashley’s sentence “Man, what it is about Kirstin, huh?”

     “I don’t know. But it’s definitely something.” they both just nodded.

     “So, we’re cool?” Tom asked, giving out his hand for Ashley.

     “Yeah, we’re cool.” Ashley shook on it.

     “Great. Listen, I think I’m gonna go. Do you think it’s fine if I go?”

     “Are you sure you wanna go? You don’t have to.” Ashley told him.

     “No. I already told Kirstin how I feel about all this. And I don’t really think I’m gonna be able to be strong for her when she wakes up. I’m pretty shook up right now. I really don’t think I’m gonna be able to handle it too well when she wakes up. I’m gonna fall apart and I know it.”

     “Yes, it’s gonna be tough.”

     “But you’ll be able to do that, dude. I know that. That’s why I feel comfortable leaving. She has you to be her rock. She doesn’t need me for anything else now that the baby… well…” Tom looked down again.

     “Hey, it’s not just because the baby is…” Ashley controlled his emotions and continued “That you won’t be seeing her anymore. You’re friends and I get that now. So, just come over whenever you feel like it, alright?”

     “Really?” Tom asked.

     “Yeah, sure.”

     “That’s so good to hear, man.” Tom breathed relieved and Ashley smiled at him “But let me go now, man. We’ll talk, I guess?” Tom stood up.

     “Yeah, sure.” Ashley got up too.

     “Ok, then. Then, see ya.” Tom shook Ashley’s hand. Then he turned around and left.