~*~
Chapter 7 ~*~
NEW YORK CITY, NY - Coffee Shop
Ashley
didn't know what to do or say to make things better. He sat down. He knew any
attempt on his part wouldn't work.
“Kirstin, I'm sorry. I should have told you about Jen before.”
“So her name is Jen! Nice. Short for Jennifer, right?” Kirstin decided
to get her nerves under control, not to make a scene. She was gonna stay calm
through all of that.
“Yes…” Ashley answered, expecting Kirstin to ask a lot of things, but
that one particular question. He felt a strange vibe “That's all you want to
ask me about her?”
“Well, I can't think of anything right now, but if you want to, give
me a minute so I can put some effort into it and come up with a great question!
Is that what you want?”
Ashley noticed the angry tone on her voice and asked.
“Why are you acting so strange about all this?”
“Me? I'm not acting strange! I just wanna know your girlfriend's name.
What's wrong with that?” Kirstin just wanted to cry, but she wouldn't. She wouldn't
cry in front of anybody, especially Ashley. Ashley just sighed. She then used
an angry high tone to express her thoughts “What Ashley? What do you want me
to say or ask you? Do you want me to ask you why you're with her when you just
told me you loved me? Do you want me to ask you if I was that easy to forget?
Do you want me to ask you if you love her? Is that it? Just tell me what you
want me to do and I'll do it for you!” Ashley was indeed the jerk she expected
him to be. Just like the others. She just smiled slightly, she thought the whole
situation was kind of ironic “I'm leaving.” she informed him getting up. Ashley
grabbed her wrist, not letting her go.
“I just want you to tell me the truth. Tell me what's on your mind, Kirstin!
Just this once, please?” he pleaded her. Kirstin knew him pretty well too. She
could see in his eyes that he was sorry not telling her about his girlfriend.
She decided to give him a chance. But on her own terms. She took a deep breath
and said:
“I've
done a lot of thinking since I got here in NY. And Ashley,
I'm gonna speak what's on my mind and I don't want you to interrupt me and when
I'm done, you're not gonna say anything. Then I'll get up and leave and you
won't go after me. Deal?”
Ashley was not happy with those terms, but he had to let her continue. So he said:
“Deal…”
Kirstin
took another deep breath and continued:
“The hardest thing to do is tell someone you love, you like him. And
that was exactly what I was doing when I insisted on going to the prom with
you only as a friend. And that night,
I had to fight back so many feelings I thought I was gonna explode at anytime.
I thought I had my feelings for you figured out. I thought I had felt like that
before. But the minute I let our lips touch, it felt like something inside of
me had been awakened that I had never felt before. It was similar to the other
2 times, but with you it felt 10 times stronger. It was really scary for me.
So I had to run away, I was so scared. You don't know about this, but the other
times I felt like that, things hadn't exactly ended up the best way and I got
hurt pretty badly. So I thought if I'd given this relationship a chance, it
wouldn't work out eventually and I'd end up hurt just like before, but this
time it would be 10 times worse, 'cause my feelings for you were 10 times stronger.
That's why I ran away the very next day. I didn't want to explain all of this
to you back then 'cause I still had to figure things out. Running away felt
like the best option for me at that time. I thought that if I left you behind
in that city, I would also be leaving all my feelings for you in Redding and
have a new life here in NY, away from all of that. I knew it could hurt you,
but it would hurt me much more if I had stayed there, and eventually, you would
get over me and find someone else for you. Just like you found Jennifer. When
I heard her on the phone, that's when it finally hit me that you have a different
life now. A life that doesn't include me. And that I'm the only one to blame
for not being a part of that new life of yours, because I'm the one who ran
away from it. And that thought made me really sad and frustrated at the same
time. Sad because I wasn't a part of your life anymore. And frustrated because
I hadn't been able to leave my feelings for you back in Redding. But there's
nothing left for me to do. Some people just aren't meant to be in a love relationship.
And I believe I'm one of them.”
With that said, Kirstin got off of her chair and left the coffee shop.
Ashley's eyes were locked on her leaving, until she disappeared in the crowd.
When he wasn't able to see her anymore, he just held his head on his hands.
He was left speechless, he didn't know how to react to all that Kirstin had
just stated. He then felt a warm and lonely tear fall from his left eye. And
then he whispered: “I love her. I can't believe I still love her.”
* Thanx Caitlin for editing and correcting the grammar on this chapter
~*~ Chapter 6 ~*~
~*~ Chapter 8 ~*~
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