Dating Tips

TIP #1: Most Important Thing in Courtship
Living to Glorify God: Doing Everything
for Him,
His way,
To point to His greatness
and reflect His goodness.


TIP #2: Primary Love Needs

Women Men
Caring Trust
Understanding Acceptance
Respect Appreciation
Devotion Admiration
Validation Approval
Reassurance Encouragement


TIP #3: Ten Questions To Ask BEFORE You Get Engaged:
  1. Is your relationship centred on God and His glory?
  2. Are you growing in friendship, communication, fellowship, and romance?
  3. Are you clear on your biblical roles as man and woman?
  4. Are other people supportive of your relationship?
  5. Is sexual desire playing too big (too small) a part in your decision?
  6. Do you have a track record of solving problems biblically?
  7. Are you heading in the same direction in life?
  8. Have you taken into account any culture differences you might have?
  9. Do either of you have complicating entanglements from past relationships?
  10. Do you want to marry this person?

TIP #4 The Five Stages of Dating

Stage one: Attraction
In this stage, we experience our initial attraction to a potential partner. The challenge is to make sure we express that attraction and get to know the potential partner.
Stage two: Uncertainty
We experience a shift from feeling attraction to feeling uncertain that our partner is right for us. The challenge in this stage is to recognize this uncertainty as normal and not be swayed by it.
Stage three: Exclusivity
We feel a desire to date a person exclusively. We want the opportunity to give and receive love in a special relationship without competition. The danger in this stage is that we become too comfortable and stop doing the little things that make our partners feel special.

Stage four: Intimacy
In this stage, we feel relaxed enough to let down our guard and share ourselves more deeply than before. The challenge is to deal with our less-than-best sides.

Stage five: Engagement
By now, we are certain that we're with the person we want to marry. In this stage, we have the opportunity to celebrate our love. It's the time to experience our relationship joyfully, happily, peacefully, and lovingly.


TIP #5 Five Questions To Check If Your Partner Is Good Enough For You?
1. Do we share a common life purpose?
2. Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
3. Is he/she a mensh? (somone who is refined and sensitive, e.g. always striving to be good and do the right thing)
4. How does he/she treat other people? (Does he/she only act nice in your presence?)
5. Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? (Your chance of success is very slim)

The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.


TIP #6 Love Triangle

The two sides of the triangle represents the man and woman and their individual relationship with God. The horizontal lines represent their relationship to each other. The closer the two are to God the closer they are to each other. (the shorter the lines, the closer the relationship) Note, the triangle is not a triangle unless it has all three sides, nor is it stable if one side is missing. God is the foundation for our intimate relationships. Without him, there isn't a strong tie between the two partners. (there will only be one line connecting the two, it can lengthen and shorten to whatever length) Furthermore, even if one partner is close to God and the other is not, the love triangle cannot be formed. The two lines can also freely move to whatever direction.


TIP #7 Four Kinds of Chemistry
1) Physical chemistry generates desire
2) Emotional chemistry generates affection
3) Mental chemistry generates interest
4) SPIRITUAL chemistry creates LOVE

I find the fourth one very intriguing considering this came from a non-Christian relationship expert. Love comes from the spirituality of the partners. In our terms, this comes down to "We love because God first loved us" Put in another way, when two people have this spiritual chemistry (to me that means having the same faith), there is the big word LOVE (the Christian kind). Also, we should experience all four will our life long partners. Many people in our society date or even marry people based on one or two but not all four of the chemistry, especially just the Physical one. Physical attraction to your partner is far from enough to sustain any kind of relationship.


TIP #8 What is Dating?

D are to be different (God glorifying rel...no premarital sex, cohabition, love unconditionally etc.)
A ccept past experience (of our partners, i.e. accept them for who God created them to be)
T alk ( honest communication is very important)
I ntercede (pray for one another and the relationship)
N urture (build each other up and also maintain rel with friends and family)
G row ( investigate other's interest, encourage each other to grow spiritually, learn how to love each other)


TIP #9 Jesus is Watching You

Wet eyes are watching you.� The moist eyes of Jesus, tenderly longing for you to let go of your life and hold fast to Him.� He doesn't kick you when you're down, but rather He carefully stabilizes you with His mercy and grace, and helps you to your feet.
His eyes are smiling as they find you longing to please Him in your relationships.� His eyes are also full of pride as they observe you trusting Him.� He, more than anyone, knows how difficult it is to stand against the tide (date in God's way).� He simply wants an ordinary person to trust His nature and character, and to test His perfect faithfulness (i.e. that He will prepare a partner for you).

Wet eyes are watching you.� The caring eyes of heaven have spent too many years burning with tears of pain over your life and mine.� Let us choose today to bless God's heart with the gift of loving Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.� Let's make those wet eyes proud!

Let us make our Heavenly Father proud of our intimate relationships!!!!!


TIP #10 Surrender Your Love Life to God

Have you ever had this conversation with God?

You: � God, why aren't you blessing me in the area of dating?
God: � Your name, don't you believe that I know who you will marry, and that I'm capable of�leading you to that right man/woman someday?
You: � Of course, I believe that, God, but what does that have to do with the here and now?
God: � Well, your name, can you also believe that I am the God of all creation?� I know you better�than you know yourself, and I am perfectly able to bring this man/woman into your life in My�own time, in My own way, and I don't need your help.

Tell God you are ready to be offered (as a present to your future spouse), and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be.� God wants to be involved!� He wants to write your love story for you without your help.�

What Is Your Concept of Love? Are You Getting What You Expected?

Take This Love Test To Find Out!!!

Recommanded Books (Where the tips came from):
  1. Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
  2. Love For All Seasons by Dr. John Trent
  3. How to Encourage the Man in Your Life by H. Norman Wright
  4. Men Are from Mars, Wome Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships by Dr. John Gray
  5. True Love: Sex, Romance & Real People by Robbie Castleman
  6. Mars and Venus on a Date by Dr. John Gray
  7. I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
  8. When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy
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