Our Dating Story
The Prelude
My "love life" started when I was 13. At first it was only based on my emotions
and attraction. My first was a Jewish guy from school. Obviously, he was not
a Christian, in fact, he did not believe in Jesus (Jews only believe in the Old
testiment) Back then, I've always thought that it was OK because I can
"convert" him. All we could talk about was school and swimming (he was
training for lifeguard too). We went
our seperate ways in Grade 9. The next time around I've learned my lesson and
know that I should let God guide this area of my life. The second guy was a
Christian. For two years I prayed that God'll give us opportunity to interact
and get to know each other better. However, God's answer was "No", he started
dating my best friend at that time. My hopes were shattered.
The Smart Guy
In Grade 11, I noticed this smart guy who was fascinated by airplanes in
fellowship. I was very impressed by his knowledge of the Bible, in Math,
computers, and many other academic things. Right then, my persistent prayers
about him started. At first, I told God how I felt about him and I asked God
to give me more opportunity to get to know him and make friends with him if
it's His will. Then God put us in the same cell group, I started to know him
better and found that we had many things in common. My prayers then became
�God, if he is the one you planned for me, please guide us in furthering our
friendship� God then gave us more opportunities to serve together. Half a year
has passed; I decided to let him know how I feel so I asked a friend to tell
him for me since I was too shy to do so. I thought if he was interested, he
would let me know, otherwise, I can just give up on him.
The Surprise
Three months later, at the fellowship camp, the surprise came. Under the stary
sky, beside a lake, he told me that he knew I had feelings for him and that he
really liked me too. When I heard that, I felt an electric current run through
my whole body. After nine months of praying and waiting, God made my dream
come true. Later, I found out that he has been praying about his future wife
before he approached me at camp.
The Blessing
Ever since that day, God has brought us closer together. We have grown
together both mentally and spiritually. Maintaining our relationship was no
easy task. It took lots of learning and prayers. We had to jump through many
different hurdles in life, but with God's grace, we survived every time and
ended up thanking God for the experiences. That's because those were the
things that made our relationship and our love for God stronger.
The After Thought
Eight years ago, I have never thought about how much God would change me in
this relatively short time. And of course, never even imagined how wonderful
life would be like with this smart guy I met at fellowship (who didn't even
know I existed)!!!!!! We are very compatible in all aspects of our lives and
we find great joy serving our Lord together. God is the best match-maker in
the world.
The Prayer
I remember I had feelings for girls quite early on... during kindergarden, in
fact. I've always had varied degrees of crushes on different girls in my
classes and fellowship as I grew up.... although not being a feelings-based
person, none of them were too "intense".
When I was around 15, I sort of got fed up with these feelings that typically
go nowhere. Being a shy math/computer/science geek who wore coke-bottle
glasses I resigned to the fact that my best bet for a girlfriend was with God.
So, I prayed to the Lord that He'll take care of this business of dating for
me. Little did I know how God will use that tiny little bit of faith... a few
years later.
In a strange way, God has already planted some seeds... for some reason yet
unknown to me, I've always had a conservative attitude when it came to dating -
I felt that if God has prepared specially a person just for me, then there is
no point in dating around... and I should just look to Him and let Him show me
the way. And when He does, I should pursue the relationship with all my might
and all my soul, once convinced that He has indeed spoken. These thoughts are
kinda strange for a 15 year-old teenager.
Fellowship
Perhaps it was due to my giving up hope of dating using my own methods, I
stopped paying attention to girls, to the point where I don't remember Grace
joining our highschool fellowship. I didn't really know her until 1994 when
she became my cell group leader... even then there was no loud voice from
heaven declaing that "Grace's the one for you!"
In retrospect, that period of time can only be characterised as "wierd".
The Phone Call
And then, one day when I was 17, a phone call came to my house from a friend of
Grace's, whom I was previously unacquianted with. To my complete surprise he
told me that Grace had feelings for me. I was stunned. Part of me was
obviously overjoyed... I was quite flattered. Another part of me thought, who
in their right mind would consider a relationship with a gggeeeekkkk like me?!
What did Grace see in me that pushed her to such drastic action?! I promised
her friend that I would seriously consider what he told me and we hung up. I
had no clue as to how to respond. So I sorta prayed... "God you know what
you're doing cuz I seriously am clueless." Soon, however, I felt that He was
guiding me.
The Waiting Period
In the ensuing 3-4 months, I seeked to interact with Grace more. I remember
chatting with her after fellowship was done, because we both had to wait for
our fathers. During our conversation, I felt "connected". It was not the
deepest of conversations, but it was certainly an unparalleled delight to
converse with her. I also wanted to serve God with her (I must admit that by
that point I was developing feelings for her and wished more interactions with
her.) and so, both of us having been trained as lifeguards we organized a first
aid course for the fellowship as an outreach event. I was most impressed with
her attention to detail - while I forged ahead in planning and in doing stuff,
she's the one who can step back and make sure all the details were taken care
of. She is extremely organized and first-minute. Her efficiency contrasted
with my "go-with-the-flow", "do the minimum amount of planning", and
"hit-the-ground-running" style.
During this period I also focused on asking God whether Grace is the one for
me. From the way He openned doors for my interactions with her, I felt that
the answer is "yes".
The Reply
By the time summer of '95 rolls around, I had developed strong feelings for
Grace. Feelings that were not like crushes, which were based solely on a
girl's looks or my imaginations of how she is as a person, but feelings that
were grounded in my experience of interacting with her. During the summer camp
that year I approached Grace alone and told her that I also had feelings for
her. And that is how we started going out.
Like Abraham & Issac
Strangely, right after we began dating, I was utterly convinced that I was
going to marry Grace. 2-3 days after we "officially" started dating, I told
her that I "love" her and that I feel I was going to marry her. Grace was a
little taken aback, but I think that since she had also been praying about our
relationship, she understood why I made such a bold statement.
Due to more bizzare circumstances, opposition to our courtship became evident.
From a spiritual perspective, it felt like God was asking to take back what He
so graciously (this is a pun... get it?! ;)) gave to me. Without too much
thinking, I yielded to the sovereignty of the Lord, and told Him that He shall
remain on the throne of my life, and if He deemed it necessary for me and Grace
to break up, I would obey Him. From that prayer came confirmation of my life
priorities - I was to put Him above all, myself obviously, but even gifts that
are from Him are to be put under His Lordship.
After that, the opposition melted away. Grace and I have survived our first
test with our relationship strengthened. These experiences have repeated many
times since and had worked to cement our bond to each other.
The Conclusion... already?!
The only conclusion that can be drawn from my experience is that God is a
mysteriously God, but He is also a very loving God. Most of all, He got it all
figured out... all planned out wonderfully for the sake of those who seek to
follow Him.
"For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother's womb. I
will ever praise you." Psalm 71:5-6
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