mybrotherskeeper

My Brothers Keeper

With a tenative touch he slowly reached out to touch her face. A tear slipped free when he realized it was real, warm and alive! She smiled loveingly down at him, tear tracks staining her face. She never looked more beautiful to him. With much effort he reached for her hand, his strength lessened to that of a babe as he squeezed her hand, his hoarse voice crawling out of a dry throat that had lain unused for far too long.
     "I've always loved you..." He could say no more, the effort of the act or the lump in his throat from his emotional weeping preventing him from shouting from the roof tops what he should have so long ago. Maybe now he would have that chance.

     "And today in local news, launched from mmmbop, the carreer of pop star Zac Hanson may not be over yet as he has regained conciousness after fourteen months in a coma. Doctors say they expect a full recovery. Longtime girlfriend Laura Asherton had little to say, only to comment happily, 'Now his son can know his father as something more than a warm body.' And brother Isaac Hanson had this to say."
A quick clip of a haggard looking middle aged man appeared on the screen rubbing at his tired eyes, ciggarette in hand.
     "Of course we're all relieved and elated, but he still has a long way to go before he's made a full recovery. At least he's out of the woods now. We're all thankfull to GOD for that." His tired weak smile excusing him from the glare of media intruding in his life again as he snuffs out his half smoked ciggarette and hurridly slipped back into the uninviting building.
     "Other brother Taylor Hanson could not be reached for comment. And now for the weather. Ken?..." The screen went black. Then snap of sudden silence makeing his ears ring. In the dark he watched the glowing end of his ciggarette dull under the layers of ash as it sat in his stil hand. He gave a ragged sigh through his tear. It was starting all over again. This time he didn't know if he was going to be strong enought to handle the pain. The rejection. The constant sense of dread and loss. With a sudden movement he snubbed out his caggarette. There were obligationsto be met. And whether he wanted to or not, his responsibilities, were his responsibilities. Getting up from his chair he stretched his lanky form, the muscles of his lower back screaming at him for sitting still so long. He left the room behind in all it's stale ciggarette aroma and spilled Jack Daniels glory. He climbed the stairs, his weary eyes feeling as if someone had poured gravel in them. When he got to the top of the stair, he didn't bother to turn on the light even, just peeled his clothes from his body as he went, ending in his room and crawling into his cold and empty bed. Lonely again. Another long night with a heavy heart was ahead of him. He dreaded it, but this time at least he could breathe a little the weight bearing down upon his chest a bit lighter tonight. He was awake. His brother was awake. He would have thanked the Lord... if he had still believed in him.

     Isaac and his wife Isabelle sat in the quiet room, softly talking with Zac when Laura comes in looking like she wants to say something. Isa gets the hint and drags his brother from the room so Zac can 'focus'. Laura speaks loveingly, gently, to him, strokeing his face and hair as she looks upon him in adoration and disbelief almost.
     "I have someone I'd like you to meet." She urges. He gets choked up- complaining that he won't be able to hold him, he's not strong enough yet. She turns her back on his pleas of fragility, she knew he was nervous. Every man is the first time they get to hold their little one. He's complaints melt away and a hush falls over the room as he lays eyes upon his son for the first time. He weeps with joy for the second time that week. Laura, beamingly proud carries her chubby little cherub to her beloveds bedside.
     "Zac, I'd like to introduce you to Zachary Ethan Hanson." She lays the sleeping babe upon his chest, heart beat to heart beat. "Your son." A ragged sigh escapes him while he bends his head to kiss a soft little blonde head as she helps him put his arms about the slumbering child. He looks up into her eyes, joyous smile fixed.
     "He looks just like me!" He exclaims, makeing her laugh. A gentle touch to his face, then that of their son. The baby stirs, stretching, a tingy yawn announceing his intentions. Then Zac looked down as his son opened his eyes and for the first time father and son lay eyes on each other. Stareing back up at him were two of the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. Only once before had he ever seen eyes of that hue... his love, Laura. He looked at her quickly, barely able to tear his eyes from the beautiful sight that lay in his arms.
     "He's so beautiful!" He gushed. She laughed softly.
     "Of course he is. He's ours!" She boasted. He smiled back at her then quickly turned his attention back to the boy he held. He watched in awe as he tried to crawl away, impeeded by his mothers constant hand upon him. She tickled him, makeing him laugh, such a delight upon his fathers ears. Then he realized just how much of his precious little on's life he had missed. It left a bitter taste hin his mouth as he thought about everything he almost lost. It set his determination more firm now.

     The phone rang, long into the night. A very groggy Isaac rolled over and reached across his grumbling wife.
     "Hello?" He rumbled as he rubbed his gritty eyes. "Do you have any idea what time it is here?!" He snapped. "Yeah, well... forget it. What's the matter?" He sighed. "Pick you up? You mean you're comming home?" He questioned. "No, no he hasn't said anything." Isaac sat up, his tired muscles acheing. "I don't think he is... Tay... stop it!" He scolded. "No! I didn't say that!" He sighs heavily, almost defeated. "Tay. Just come home okay man? I haven't heard him say anything about you, but he hasn't asked about anyone yet. I haven't had but a few minutes with him at a time since he woke up." He tried to explain. "No, Laura gets first priority... and Ethan." He almost cringed at the pain in his brother's voice on the other end of the line. I'm sorry... Tay... it's just... well... we're all starting from scratch here okay? The doctors told us to let him .ead conversations and ask questions. We're not supposed to offer any info unless he specificly asks okay? They said he may have blocked out the trauma, they don't know and they don't know if the stress of knowing would be too much for him. We're all walking on egg shells right now okay? So... so just hang in there." Isaac softly soothed over the phone, the pain in his own heart for both of his brothers rising. "Sit tight... I'll be right there." He promised before he hung up the phone. His wife cracking an eye when he kissed her cheek as he threw back the covers of thier bed.
     "I saw this comming the minute they said he was awake." She toned. He smiled sadly.
     "So did I Babe." He patted her hip. "So did I." He sighed groaningly as he rose from the bed. In the dim light from the hall he dressed, stuffing his keys into his pocket as he shoved his feet into his shoes. The things he did for love. He dragged himselfdown the stairs and out the door, all the while silently praying that this would all turn out all right. Sleepily he backed down the long driveway, wishing like hell his brothers weren't so rasha nd self centered. Then again, he thought, life would be dull then. He smiled to himself and headed towards the airport.

     He couldn't get over how beautiful his son was. Those bright green eyes, his perfect little pink hands. He just wanted to hold him forever. He wished like hell he could hold him alone. He knew though, he just wouldn't have that kind of strength for a while yet. He'd just have to be content with what he could handle for now. Really, that was more than he'd ever thought he would have. He gently stroked his sons fingers grasped around his own thumb. Yes, he had plenty to be thankful for. And he was going to make sure that he was going to right as many wrongs as he possibly could.
     "Laura?" She turned from watching their son play with his fathers fingers. "Will you marry me" He grinned. She alughed, her little turned up nose crinkling like it did, endearing her to him.
     "I'm serious. As soon as I'm able to, you know, take care of myself more. Do more things for myself... I'd really like for us to get married." He smiled up at her, such hope shineing from his eyes, that even if she hadn't loved him so much she could not have been able to say no to him. Leaning forward she softly kissed him, their son between them. The perfect picture of a happy family.

     The shadowed figure just outside the door knew better. He knew the dark and sinister secrets that led them all to this very point in time. He took a deep breath, knowing he was the driving force behind them all too. It made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want to do this... but he knew he must. An innocent life was at stake now... A life he had almost taken... as well as that of his own, his brother... and the woman he'd loved. A hand on his shoulder startled him. He jumped some, turning to find concerned eyes falling on him. He sighed a bit in relief.
     "Ike! You scared the shit out of me!" ISaac smiled, knowingly. "It's time Tay. You can't keep going on like this man. Look at you. Chain smokeing, paceing like a caged animal, knocking back coffee like a fiend. It's not good for you, the stress is starting to show, giving you ragged edges man. You've got to stop letting it eat up inside. Let it go Tay. It's time. She loves him. You know that. You've always known that. Just look at them." Isaac nodded toward the room at Taylors back. He cringed inwardly, not wanting to look. Knowing what he'd find there. What loomed behind him. His doom. He was out of hope, he was out of luck. he was out of his mind. He gave up. Defeated, he turned around, ready to face his executioner as Isaac pushed him forward, the both of them entering the room.

     Like a startled deer Taylor stood there, just blinking in the sunlight streaming into the room. Isaac nudged him and he stumbled forward. He wanted a ciggarette. He wanted one so bad he could feel the nicoteen oozing from his flesh along with the bullets of sweat he was breaking out in. The happy family turned their attentions on the newcomers, a flicker of fear running through Taylor, he wanted to flee... instead he stuck his finger in his mouth, chewing on an already ragged nail. The bitter taste of ciggarettes past leeching from his stained fingers onto his tongue.
     "Taylor! Just the man I wanted to see." Zac piped up, grin spreading over his face. Sure this was a trick, he backed up a step, ready to duck when the blow fell. But a ruse it was not. Zac patted the bed beside him. Tenatively Taylor took a step forward. Like a frightened child, he needed to be pushed gently, so Isaac did so. Finally Taylor sat on the dege of the stiff hospital bed, feet set and ready to sprint at any moment if it started to go sour. With effort, Zac lay his hand upon his brothers arm, makeing Taylor flinch as if suddenly scaulded... But eyes of blue ice found warm eyes of earth, pouring forth everything Zac wanted to say before he even opened his mouth. Taylor relaxed, his muscles no longer acheing with a longing to jump up.
     "Taylor... I just wanted to tell you that I remember everything... and I bear you no ill will. No malice what so ever. And before you can ask me why I'll tell you... The reason I fogive you is simple. I love you."

     Taylor stared, mouth agape. Zac grinned.
     "You're my brother, you're human... and now that I'm ok... I realize how important each one of us is. The miracle that is my son is proof of that. Just look at him Tay... look at how beautiful life can be!" Zac glanced over at Laura holding their son, then back again to his brother.
     "I know you loved Nat once... I know you love your children still... but Tay man, you gotta stop beating yourself up over this! We need to stop fighting. I forgave Laura. It was... just a mistake... or... whatever it was. I've learned to get past it. We are together now. We do love each other and we even have a son to prove that. Whatever you had together... it's over Tay. She just doesn't love you... just like you don't love Natalie anymore. Sometimes... it just happens that way. I know why you did what you did. Sometimes we just get so desperate... but Tay, it's not the end of the world. Open your heart, you'll find some one else. I know there's someone out there for you if you just wait for your with a song in your heart, let the light in again Tay. Sing and set your soul free... We love you... all of us. We want you to be happy again. Please Tay?" Zac looked expectantly at his brother as he waited for his reply.

     "Jesus Zac... how many men in this world would forgive a brother that betrayed them like I did? Fuck Zac... I shot you for christ's sake! I... I just don't understand it. This is not what I was expecting!" Tay breathlessly admited.
     "Tell me about it!" An incredulous Ike chimed in. They all laughed a little awkwardly. Zac cmiled, beckoning to Laura to bring Ethan closer. She did, sitting on the bed between the two brothers as she handed over the boy. Zac did his best to cradle the child in a weak embrace, smiling down on him in their own little world for a moment. Taylor leaned to the side to see around her as Zac spoke again.
     "Not everyone has had fourteen long months to do nothing but think." He toned with an air of meloncholy. Taylor winced a bit, knowing it was his fault, and his alone for that fat. Then Zac looked up, straight into his borthers eyes. "God gave us free will, but he knows each of us have a purpose, and all the reasons behind why we do what we do. I think you shooting me in a drunken stupor... such as it was... was probably the best thing that ever happened to me until the day I met my son... Maybe you're the reason why I care for him as much as I do. Tay, you weren't the only one being eaten up inside over this. I was drinking myself to death, popping pills... If I had gone on the way I was, I probably wouldn't be here today... So... I guess, I should thank you really..." Zac said quietly. "My life was not a happy one Tay... Why do you think I was cheating on Laura? Why do you think she turned to you in the first place? I'm sorry your marriage broke up so explosively, but you and I both know you didn't love Natalie anymore... why else would you have slept with Laura right?" The silence of the room was deafening as they all pondered their pasts...

     "Dada!" Fates be damned... What was once, was gone. Now is now, live now. All eyes were on one small child none of them dry. Suddenly... it was all very clear. Life was well worth living and living well. Forgiveness was the key to the path they would take together. No longer would they be their brothers keeper... of secrets and ill will.