| snowbound |
| I don't know exactly how we got to that point, but we found ourselves dozing lazily, entangled. Bright clear sun streaming through each window and filling the house with much needed warmth on a chilly winter's morn. I vaguely remembered reeling through a roller coaster ride of emotions and bilssful sexual satisfactions. My memory punctuated by heady, delicious, physical pinicles. The kind my body remembers still and it makes me wet to just think about them. I remember lazily lolling beside him, tangled with him and the sheet, a heavy quilt haphazzardly tossed over our mass. My body ached all over, the kind of ache that felt good. The kind that embeds into each limb. It was like an animal, almost alive with the way it invaded each muscle. Then a sudden earthquake shook me from my ethereal dreamland, knocking my goofy grin from my face. My eyes shot open searching out the epicenter of my suddenly shattered world. Zac was already out of bed, sun glinting off the tawny flesh of his broad shoulders as he bent to climb into his jeans. I could hear him muttering, 'Shit! Shit! Shit!' under his breath. I was immediately siezed with worry. Was he sorry about last night? Was he regretting his actions and now embarresdly trying to get some distance between us? I cringed beneath the bedding- tears already stinging behind my eyes, a feeling of dread welling up inside me and makeing a lump in my throat. I swallowed hard, blinking back the tears as he hurridly shoved a shirt over his head. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed, back to me as he jammed his big feet into some wooley socks. So near, yet he felt so far from me then. I so wanted to reach out to him. Even if it was just to touch his warm skin just one last time before he dismissed me, deleting me from his life forever. How could I have been so stupid! I was so mad at myself now. Why had I been so brazen? He must think me a hussy. I felt so stupid for ruining everything. Then a thought occured to me. Maybe it wasn't me, maybe this was his plan all along... get me softened up to then bed me. It seemed an awful lot of trouble just to get what he wanted. But... hadn't we met accidentally? That was preposterous to think he'd concocted a scheme to get me into bed from the time I'd been well enough to regain conciousness to let him know I was going to be fine after all. I mean, after the point where he knew I wasn't going to die on him, was I then considered fair game? How twisted my thoughts had become! My brain seemed to be scrambled, my reasoning jumbled with chaos of reality, suspicion and fears. I couldn't decide if I should be mad at him or not. I didn't know what the hell to think! A quick flick of his hair over his shoulder and he turned to look at me. A worried look behind his eyes. "I can't believe I forgot to feed the horses!" He confessed, an embarressed grin generously spread over his features. He leaned into me quickly, a promising kiss to my mouth. I wasn't sure if I'd kissed him back or not. I was in a near state of shock. In the span of a mere few minutes I"d driven myself nearly mad... and here he had only forgotten to tend some animals. No heart piercing scene, no shattering break up, no disgusting groveling on my part for a second chance. No. Just, a simple forgotten chore! What. An. Idiot! I could almost feel the white hot brand of "idiot" being pressed to my forehead. I had been utterly foolish! I deserved the booby prize of the year for makeing imaginary mountains out of molehills! He tenderly carressed my face, smoothing my hair over my shoulder as he looked down at me, a warm smile blossoming for my sole benifit. I felt very unworthy right then, but I met him with a weak smile of my own hoping it was enough of a response, but hadn't revealed my true state of panic moments earlier. It must have satisfied. It must have been enough for he touched my face once more, his smile melting into something more, something deeper. "Azure." He said softly. There was so much emotion behind that one soft spoken word, it echoed within me. It calmed all my foolish fears and quelled my stormy sea of mixed emotions. A real smile shone for him then as I touched his hand that lay soft against my cheek. He took a deep breath as he looked into my eyes. Our hands gently laying against each other. He sighed breathily and again I felt like weeping, only this time, joy was the motivation. A lot had happened in the past two days, and I was almost certain, it wasn't over yet. Regret weighted his body as he rose from the bed. A short few steps and he stood at the top of the stair. He turned, a last look my way. He was sadly smiling as if we were saying goodbye for a year instead of just his short jaunt to the barn and back. Tenderly he kissed his thick fingertips, blowing the affection towards me. I smiled grandly for him, then he was gone. I strained my ears, listening to his quiet shuffle through the house, then a click of the front door closing... and I was suddenly alone. And cold. I pulled the quilt up around my shoulder. Laying there, I knew it was no use. I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep now. Not without him. 'Odd' I thought 'I don't normally have trouble sleeping in.' Perhaps it's just the stress after the accident. I resigned myself to my fate and decided to get up and maybe get something done. Have some breakfast perhaps. I traipsed down the stairs after a bit and stepped into the kitchen as I finnished buttoning a borrowed flannel shirt. I pulled my hair back and went right to work. After I set the table for breakfast, I then whipped up some french toast to satisfy my growling tummy. I was pleased to find a tin of real maple syrup in the fridge. I hate that sugar water most people think of as maple syrup. How can anybody like that I'll never know. But after all, if these people could afford this really nice house, they could afford a pint of the good stuff couldn't they? I smiled to myself as I flipped another batch of golden toasty egg dipped bread onto the platter. I smiled because I heard Maggie bark from the other side of the front door. That meant they were done in the barn. Sure enough, as I placed the last few slices of french toast into the pan, the front door opened. A cold breeze wafting across my bare legs. The commotion entered the house, a few seconds later it entered the kitchen. "MMM... something sure smells good! Man are you spoiling me!" He announced, pulling his gloves off, grin wide. I smiled back as I turned the pieces over in the pan. He didn't waste time, unzipping his coat as he walked past me. He surprized me with a peck to the cheek. His cold nose brushing under my ear. I shivered, giggling as I shrank away from him. "You're freezing!" I squeeled. He chuckled, quite pleased with himself and went on his way to the pantry to hang his coat. By the time I'd gotten the rest of the french toast done and placed on the table, he was at the sink washing up, his hair a wild mess, tied back in a quick tail out of his face. He didn't stand on ceremony, barely takeing time to dry his hands before he plunked his ass down at the table, filling his plate full to overbrimming. I filled his glass with milk from the pitcher and he smiled up at me. I smiled back. It was a comforable silence, and one I was glad for. The awkward quiet stretched between us seemed to have evaporated. The timer over the stove went off with a soft ding and I turned my attention back to the making of the meal. I sat the pitcher on the table, reaching back for the bowl of strawberries I'd thawed earlier from the freezer. He grinned again, helping himself, lapping at his sticky fingers of his other hand. I closed the fridge, then opened the oven, pulling out a small pan. He looked on in hunger and curiosity. Then when he got a glimpse of what was in the pan he laughed. "You did that for me?" "Of course... well, I'm sure you'll share with Maggie." I quipped. Her ears perking up at the sound of her name from where she lay in her corner patiently waiting. He grinned back at me nodding, as he held out his hand to take the hot pan of sausages. Instead I just placed them all on his plate, knowing full well he would most likely eat most of them. He chuckled again as I took the hot pan to the sink, then bent to close the oven. "Mmm... " His deep voice came from behind me. I turned to see him watching me. This time it wasn't the breakfast that was piqueing his hunger. I grinned at him, tossing the potholders to the butchers block and shutting off the oven. I turned and he crooked a finger to me. "Come here." He softly demanded. I slowly sashayed over to him, taking his offered hand as he pulled me into his lap. I draped my arms around his neck, and leaned into the delicious feel of his arm wrapping around me. |
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