| Diner was still silent. The peculiar tension eating away at me, crackling through the atmosphere. I really didn't know what to think, I mean really- a celebrity saves my life and I don't even recognize him! How stupid am I! I'm not sure, but I think he feels bad, maybe he even feels guilty for keeping his idenity a secret for so long. Maybe he's just mad that I didn't know who he was. To be honest- I never really payed that much attention to the current pop sceen. And another point- after mmmbop- I don't think I ever noticed the group Hanson again. After a while that song got on my nerves anyway. I mean, they played it to death until everybody got sick of it right? So who can blame me? Exactly. So why the hell am I feeling so bad? I've got nothing to be ashamed of. "Pass the butter please." His voice sounds horse and softly unsure like he hasn't used it in forever. I don't look him in the eye as I reach behind me to the counter and fetch him the butter. I don't know why. The house is silent still... Only the scrapes of our forks on plates. And Maggie pantng in the corner on her bed as she watches hopefully, as we eat in silence. He helps himself to thirds as I'm still chokeing down my first helping. At least he hasn't lost his appetite. I'm not feeling very hungry- but I don't want to be the first to leave the table either. That would mean that there would be an awkward silence with nothing to fill it. At least for now I can pretend to be eating. I found myself stareing out the window again. This time at the dusky vista, watching the stars pop out from behind their veil, sprinkling themselves over the night sky. It was so beautiful. I could see why someone would want a place up here on the hill. I was reminded once more of why I stay here instead of moving off to the 'big city.' A scrape of chair on floor and a rustle of fabric pulls me away from that far off distance in my mind. The clank of glass on plate snaps my head forward again, too fast. He's clearing away his dishes. When had he finnished? How long was I stareing out the window? Is he mad or hurt? And I'm right back where I started from. I watched wordlessly as he scraped tablescraps into a very grateful Maggie's bowl. Her tail thumping on the floor, her eyes lighting up as her tongue hung out. A soft command from him and she set to with gusto. Well, that's two out of three that seemed to enjoy what I made for dinner. Somehow, what was on my plate sort of was bland or bitter. It must have been the plate... or maybe I'm just brooding too much. I'm not going to be a baby. I'm going to suck it up and take it like an adult. No more childish games. I'm sick of pussyfooting around with this man. I deserve better damnit. So why am I still sitting here watching as he washes the dinner dishes? Good question. The way he moves is mesmerizing though. I could sit and watch him all day. There's no denying that. With a sigh I heaved myself up from the table. An estatic Maggie was awaiting her second taste of table scraps. A regular feast I suppose for her. Her life must be so easy. I gaver her a scratch behind the ears, and stood up ready to face her master. I think. I took my dirty dishes to the sink, he moved slightly aside and I let them slide into the hot soapy water. He didn't turn his head, or speak, or... or anything. I rolled my eyes behind his back as I went around to his other side. I washed my hands and picked up a dish towel. He didn't even glance my way. Is this man made of steel? I began to dry the dishes, setting them upon the clean counter beside us. I dried a kettle and turned to hang it back over the butchers block. I leaned against the warm wood of it as I turned around. Again, I was confronted with his broadshouldered back. Don't get me wrong, he's very nice to look at, no matter the angle, but this wasn't getting us anywhere. "Zac..." No response. "Zac... we need to talk." I could see him stop- but only for a moment. He continued washing the dirty dishes, scrubbing away at the silverware. I heard him give the tinyest of sighs efore he awknowledged me. "About?" As if we were talking about the weather. He is made of steel! I shook my head and pushed away from the butchers block. Once more resuming my task before I answered him back. "About... what... about the conversation we had before." I breathed out quickly. I felt like I'd just stuck my head in a lions mouth as I waited for his reply. "What's there to say?" Oh lovely. He was going to make this even harder. Just what I didn't need! I sighed and began again, hopeing this run at it would somehow be easier then the last. "Zac... you know as well as I do that there is plenty to say." Nope... I was wrong. This is just as hard. "We need to talk about... well about what's going on between us." Was there something between us? Was threre any need for this conversation? Or maybe I should just call someone to come and get me right now and be done with this whole fiasco? Either way, it wasn't going to be easy. On the one hand this man saved my life. For that I shall be eternally thankful. On the other hand, I really thought there was some chemistry there between us. Well, something good anyway before he had to go and open his big yap! "Zac, I don't care who the world see's you as. I only know of what I've seen right here. And frankly- I do think we could make something between us work if we tried. Even if it's nothing mroe then friendship when all is said and done. I'd be satisfied with that much but for heaven's sake, don't shut me out!" He looked at the floor as he pushed away from the sink. He turned to me, the cusp of conversation hung in his expression. But then he just grabbed the towel from my hands and dried his own. He passed right by me, tossing the towel atop the dish drainer as he ducked into the pantry. I stood there, disbelieving the fact that he just walked away from me. Was I talking to myself? He came back a moment later, his boots on and a hat shoved down over his ears as he shrugged into a parka. Again he walked right past me. Not a word or a glance. Nada. At the door of the kitchen he gave a soft sound, and Maggie was immediately at his heels, and then they were gone. Just like that. I stood there, bewildered. How could he just walk away from me? I mean, granted, we had no time invested in any kind of a real relationship or anything. But how can one just walk away from somebody when in this kind of situation? A direct confrontation deserves, at the very least, a weak argument. Doesn't it? I was near to tears and shakily sat myself down. What gave him the right to treat me like that? I hadn't done anything wrong! I heard one of the french doors open a bit later, an excited Maggie bounding into the great room. Takeing a deep breath, I wiped my tear stained cheeks and rose quickly. I was going to confront him. I was going to make him listen once and for all. I was going to straighten this mess out... or else I was leaving. With purpose I strode into the great room. A chill washing over me, the door still stood open. What was it with men? They couldn't close a door with their foot? Geesh! I hurried over to the door, the wind threatening to shove me back as I closed the door. I turned with a shiver, rubbing my arms and wishing for socks. He was bent over, the thud at the fireplace told me he'd gone after firewood. I waited for him to finnish stokeing the fire. I wanted to speak to him fcae to face- his full attention. No more of this crap of ignoring me. Maggie, tail wagging wildly, begged for attention. I relented and gave her a curserory pat on the head. That wasn't good enough. Oh no. She had to have more. Zac was still tending the fire I saw when I glanced that way. I gaveMaggie my attention for the moment more I knew I had to wait. Then... then I was going to tear into that man and give him 'what for!' In mere seconds, Maggie was on her back and had me scratching her tender tummy. Before I knew it, he was slipping out the door once more. Now... now I was more then mad, I was irate! I watched him in the dim light collecting another armload of firewood. I was seething with hostility. I was going to tell him to go to hell, then call someone to come and get me. Even if I had to walk part of the way! I wasn't going to spend one minute more with this... this... this man then I had to! Once more he lumbered through the door, leaving it open... I stomped over to the door, this time I didn't care if he was paying attention or not. I slamed the door shut, makeing the glass rattle. Still he didn't look at me. The nerve! "Now see here! I don't know what bug crawled up you ass!" He didn't even so much as look over his shoulder as he stacked the wood at the fire side. "Who do you think you are? You can't go around treating people with such cold indifference! I've gone beyond trying to be nice! I offered you anything you wanted of me practily, even settling for friendship and all's you've done is ignore me! You're no better then anyone else! I thought we were getting to know each other, I guess I was wrong." He got up and turned around to face me. I was so mad I could've slapped him! "I thought you were a nice person, saving my life and all!" I sneered. "Did you just not want a scandal of a dead girl being found on your doorstep?!" I spat the words out as I looked up into his face. "Don't you even have a heart?" I accused as he loomed avove me. "Didn't you feel anything at all when you kissed me? Or were you just feeling randy?" I insulted, my chest heaving with anger. "I'm not a toy!" I screamed, my hand flying out, expecting to connect with his jaw. It startled me when all in one instant he grabbed my wrist in midair, pulled me into him crushingly and bent low to give me a scatheingly heated kiss. I shivered, not knowing if it was the chill from the parka pressed against my skin, my ire being crushed upon his lips instantaineously, or the ravenous way he attacked my mouth, wrapping himself around me. His sensuous lips took command of me, a little sigh escaping me when he finally granted me a new breath. My eyes fluttered open upon his godlike features. Nostrils flared and eyes dark, his lips swollen from harsh use. He wasn't just handsome, he was beautiful. I noticed as he looked down upon me, his breath was heavy and his cheeks were flushed. I'd almost forgotten why I was mad at him. "How is this helping exactly?" I nearly whispered as I began to get lost in his eyes. "You're not screaming any more for one." He pointed out. "True, but I think I'm still mad at you." I confessed. He began to move closer, his eyes laying sight upon my mouth. "Don't you think we need to talk?" I asked huskily, my vision getting hazy as I watched him lick his lips. "Definately!" He breathed as he descended upon me once more. He invited heaven with his kiss. |
| Snowbound |
| *3* |
 |