Songs from a Cold Soul
Introduction
The following works were all written within days of each other, while I was waiting for a friend of mine to pick me up after work. The bus doesn't run as late and as far as I need it to sometimes, and so my friend would stop by after she got off work to take me home. This was all well and good, except that I worked until 8 and she until 10. That left a lot of time available to sit, work, and read etc. So, I would go down to Sitwell's Coffee House on Ludlow, and have the big ass vegetarian burrito and kill a couple of hours.
While in the shop I noticed a lot of advertisements for the "Sattwa Chai" blended tea. It had a good look to it and I thought that I'd give it a whirl. It turns out that it was the best thing I've ever had. I couldn't concentrate on reading any more. I had to write, and this is the product.
There's too much weight in awkward silence.
It weighs down so heavy
hard
gritty as a brick
Skipping records keep the
constant chatter moving
hoping to avoid the awkward silences
by filling them with awkward sounds
How many nights have you sat...Waiting?
waiting for someone or something to take you away...
Visitors...Killers...The Weight Watchers diet patrol
Spear headed by Richard Simmons.
I have waited
I have sat and listened to the
humdrum buzz of the Coffee House
People laughing...thinking
Filling up the awkward silences
with equally awkward sounds.
I have put on weight
from sitting and waking
I have dreamt a dream unending
filling up the shine from a think ink
with a vision
a dream
sometimes a nightmare
but always a dream.
Waiting
Waiting
Watching credit card Psychics
Drinking designer drinks
Writing backwards
leaping ever forward
putting on weight
and waiting
What card will you get?
The Tower
The Devil
Judgment
The Reaper
Riding death trampling fools
parting them from their possessions
Their money
Their family
Their breath
What will you do when death comes for you?
Will you ride tall to face his cavernous eyes
or will you creep and beg
and stutter
fall and faint for breath
Hoping that your day is not come
I still have one day to come
One more day away from death
One more day as a child
to suck my thumb and cry and get my way
One more day
One more day
There is more to see
There is always more to see
To see the dawn on another world
To see the shine of the ink
To see you lying next to me
to see
Blind
cold
trying to see anything
hoping
hoping
hoping to find my way home
to find my blind way home
follow the sound
deep
calling
haunting
Avoiding work
Skipping over important chores
to dwell on beauty
to drink another cup of coffee
skipping over difficulty
only to find adversity
lurking under the next stare.
I have tried
I have tried to find my way through
Broken Plate
Glass Clinkings
Crackings
falling to the floor
I have fallen to the floor
and gasped for breath
I have gasped for breath
One more cold breath
Slipping
quickening
quicksand quaking
Drowning
Swamp Loved aching
Pains
Shaking
Dyslexic and Fat
Trying to grasp the
perfect forms of Latin verbs
Drowning in quicksand
Mouthful of wet sand sandwhich
Which way
No way but down
You know you want it
To drown in love
to gasp full face
and choke
and burn
to feel the pull
that pull
that pull that lets you know that you're alive
to drink up
$2.50 a cup
to pull to suck
to love thy neighbor
only 2 streets down
2 streets to drown
2 long lonely drowning streets
choking on Rain
gasping for breath
drinking up the love
and drowning in it
Sweet
Sweet
slow burning street
sinking
10 metres deep
in love
Love(luv'): n. an abstract emotion concerning one's attraction to an object or person
He'll never know
She'll never see
Mr. Webster deaf in Love
& drowning the devil with an upside down e
You'll see
You'll see
This being can be
and even though the rhyme
was functionally dead
We'll see.
Lest we go blind with love
You'll never really know where it went Tim
That love flew
It flew from your arms
like a dove in the sky
How much did you love Tim?
Did your love fly?
Did you fill your loving arms with abundance
or were you lost in a
Burning
dying
water dead world?
What happens when loving leaves?
How many faces need to grace your door?
Fifty seven?
a hundred and four?
Think
Sleep
Dream
Dream that love can fly
and teach you heart to soar high
riding on the wings of love
Drink deep that soul
Fill your heart with loving eyes
and feed
Gorge yourself to bursting with Love
Be
Breathe
Fill out the soul with
Angelic Visions
Crystal Eyed hopes and dreams
Feel
Love
& Drink
Drink deep my love
You can feed the stars from my love
Nameless
Beautiful
Naked
Strong hands
Deep loving eyes
Perhaps just a romantic daydream
But a chance to find love
in the most unlikely of places
Will I see you again?
Will I ever know your name?
Will I ever know your name?
Same time
Same place
Hot Coffee Houses Monday @ 9:00
Bathroom @ 11:00
Class @ 11:30
Lunch @ 1:00
Work 2-8
Hot coffee houses Monday @ 9:00
Read a book
Knit a sweater
I shit on schedule
Are you...?
Do you...?
Would you mind if...?
I'd really like it if...?
How many other...?
Have you ever...?
Would you like to...?
How many times have you...?
Could you please...?
Did you ever...?
Oh Shit!
I think I broke a tooth
on my burrito!
Have you ever felt high art
Burning your soul
making your mind reel with connections &
Possibilities
Seeing the mind of another
Spilled out on to the canvas
or constructed into a metal box
I have seen eternity setting
I am not rude to the beauty of the night sky
I have known beauty in her full form
the ever moving
Twisting turning
Loving Moving
Pushing the soul into a deep commitment
I have loved.
I have seen.
I have spoken.
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