| Witnesses were said to have seen a cat anxiously tracking a reportedly Unidentified Flying Object. Photo's taken at the scene were thoroughly examined by our experts and dimissed as having been greatly exaggerated. It was later determined that these photos had previously been sent to "UFO's -R- Us" for evaluation, but had also been dismissed there. Reports have since determined that the alleged UFO was actually a ball of string. |
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| Man Conquered by Killer Feline! |
| As you see here, this man lies almost lifeless as the conquerer perches atop her conquest, satisfied, with a gleam in her eyes. Facts are unclear at this time as to what prompted this unexpected attack, speculation supports that it may have had something to do with his shirt. |
| - J. Dough |
| Cat Found Trapped in Box: |
| 13 Pound cat in 4 X 8 X 10" box. It is unsure at this time how this occurred, speculations lead to three senerios; spontanious box growth, a misplaced UPS shipping lable or a freak accident with baby oil. |
| - J. Dough |
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| Cat Spots UFO: |
| - J. Dough |
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| BEWARE |
| Trouble: |
| Species: Cat Gender: Female Height: 8 inches Weight: 13 Pounds Eye Color: Pale Blue Personality: STRANGE Favorite Food: ANY Aliases: "Trouble Kitty", "TK", "TK The Wacky Funky Cat" |
| BEWARE |
| BEWARE |
| Seen above in her typical disguise "Kitty Bunny". She often sports this trendy yet not so convincing pose to throw off suspicion. Be on the look-out for this adorable charachter. |
| Curious Cat Captures Camera Man: |
| Details right now are sketchy at best. However, our investigators and film development team verify that this was the last photograph found on a roll of film retrieved from a mangled camera belonging to this newspaper. As of yet the where-abouts of the photographer are unknown. Details pending further investigation. |
| - J. Dough |
| Wailing Banshee Spotted in U.S.! |
| Reports have been streaming in all week with "tails" of a raving banshee roaming the streets. Witnesses recall hearing mournful calls which can only be described as "chilling". This writer admits having never witnessed anything of this sort in my entire career. Upon closer examination of the occurrences, the true origin of what is apparenty happening in these photographs has been revealed as... YAWNING. |
| - J. Dough |
| Clever Hoax EXPOSED: |
| For years we have heard that felines do not like baths. Seen here, this cat is relaxing in a large lion's foot tub. Contrary to long standing belief, it has become clear, that cats were just afraid to shed their "tough guy" image by showing this pampered, softer side. |
| - J. Dough |
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| Disclaimer: All people, places and things mentioned in this web page are fictitious, any resemblance to any real people, places or things is strictly unintentional. The only true facts are that of the animal and it's statistics. We hope you found this page as funny and entertaining as we intended it to be. God Bless You. (smiles) |
| Coming soon: The "Trouble Kitty Auto-Biography" |