Posted by Jaypeeto on March 20, 1999 at 11:38:15 {MW/mrDAKQdkdU}:
In Reply to: To Ex-JW's:Difficulty posted by Gari on March 16, 1999 at 09:21:10:
I was disfellowshiped for sin.
(And I was, in fact, guilty...
I was trying to repent, and was suffering
from a severe depression at the time and
was having great difficulty, something
which the "shepherds" don't
really care
too much about.)
After being disfellowshiped, I continued to believe in Watchtowerism. When "worldly" friends would say something against the theology, I would get livid, as angry as if someone had deliberately poked me in the stomach.
In the late 1980's, I came across Ray Franz's book, read it once, was infuriated AT HIM, and tore the book up.
About a year later, I decided (don't remember why) to go to a Christian bookstore and get another copy of Ray's book, so I did. While I was there, I also picked up a copy of Duane Magnani's THE WATCHTOWER FILES, and read it. This time around, I had a lot more conviction that something was ***wrong*** with Watchtowerism, but couldn't accept traditional Christianity.
It took me years of research, reflection, successes and failures, horrendous anguish, etc., and lots of prayer, to reach where I am today...a place and Faith which I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd ever give a second-look to, let alone embrace.
The hardest thing for me?
At first, the shunning.
It is so incredibly CRUEL and DASTARDLY a practice. They shun--utterly shun--- people who are TRYING to REPENT. THAT is downright
obscene.
The next hardest thing was, when once I realized clearly that these men had a 100% Prophetic Failure Rate, was letting go of the Watchtower worldview. I was not raised BAPTIZED, but Watchtower theology was the only systematic worldview that I had ever held.
Jaypeeto