Posted by Cygnus on March 16, 1999 at 10:41:29 {MWxw4lFTnu54M}:
In Reply to: To Ex-JW's:Difficulty posted by Gari on March 16, 1999 at 09:21:10:
Hi Gari,
"Other than the fact"? Well, that's a fact that is most prominent for most of us, I think.
Fortunately for me, my brother and sister had already become inactive before myself, so that made it easier on the family. Plus, I've a few blood family members who never did "take" to JWism, and my wife's father's side of the family aren't JWs, so I have very few problems with family.
My wife, though, found it necessary, due to "encouragement" from the congregation, to separate from me for a time. We were apart for about five months, but she did eventually come to her senses, and now we're getting along better than ever. Indeed, we actually enjoy each others' company, and I think it's because she can be "herself" around me now that I've actually become a human being and not a JW robot.
We were at a bar the other night, and she was expressing some concern for a couple we both have a long history with as good friends, but since my departure from the JWs haven't seen (together) in a long, long time. I told her that we really should get together with them, in fact, with a lot of friends that I haven't seen in a long time. It was never my choice to cut these people off, and I hoped that I could make that known in some way without offending anyone. That's the greatest regret I have. Growing up a JW, you don't make friends outside of "the truth." Fortunately, I have lots of friends due to reestablished high school acquaintances now (working for myself doesn't lead to many personal friendships), but I still have the desire to see what my buddies are up to, and to go out and drink too much beer and shoot darts on Saturday nights like we used to.
Anyway, other than those facts, I'd say there is nothing difficult about leaving the JWs. Freedom to accept or reject philosophies and ideas is wonderful and I would never, ever give that up again. It's basically why I searched around for a belief system I could latch onto after the JWs, and realized I'd be narrowing myself down yet again. What's the advantage to that? I prefer to be in control, and not discern "truth" from someone else's point of view. I respect everyone's opinion and ideology, but I can make up my own mind. And it is the evergoing process of changing my mind that is so enlightening and stimulating. You can't do that when you're a JW.
Leaving the JWs was the best thing I could have done, and I did it at the right time. Other than what you didn't ask for :-), I've no regrets or difficulties. In fact, I think I've become a much better person since I quit the JWs,
and indeed, fundamentalist religion.