From playing marbles.
Why did the elephant paint himself all different colors?
So he could hide in a bag of M&M's.
Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in the cherry tree.
IWhat goes "Ha, ha, plop"?
Someone laughing their head off!!
What do an elephant and a grape have in common?
They're both purple, except the elephant.
Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.
Why do elephants have wrinkled ankles?
From tying their roller skates too tightly.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He let go.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
Why did the cow cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinocerous?
Elephino
Did you hear about the queer termite?
He ate mailboxes.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay-gulls. (bagels)
Why do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A Flat Miner.
What can a bird do that a man can't?
Whistle through his pecker.
Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won't stop to ask for directions.
What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
They're usually intended for children, but it's the men who end up playing with them.
What do you call the useless skin attached to a penis?
A man.
Why did God create a man before a woman?
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
So he can tell if he's coming or going.