While fishing an old rock quarry, I noticed SKUBA divers were diving at the other end of the pond. When I hooked a fish one of the divers came over to watch me fight it. After about ten minutes my line became hung. I was about to break the line when the diver said he would go down and see what I was hung up on. So in he went. After several minutes he came up and said," Man...you've hooked the biggest catfish I ever saw! Why, its as big as a man. But there are some old cars down there and it went inside one and hung you up." "Well," I said, " Why don't you take a stick and drive it out of the car."........."I tried ," he said," but each time I poked at him with the stick, he rolled the window up!"

Two guys rented a boat and went out on the lake to fish. After just 1/2 an hour they had their limit. The first guy said," I guess we better call it a day." Then the second guy got some paint and put a big X in the middle of the deck. The first guy ask what he was doing. He said ," This is a good spot , I marked it so we'll find it the next time." "You dummy," said the first guy, " We may not get the same boat the next time!!!!"

Two men are out on a frozen lake ice fishing. One man had been out on the lake for over two hours and he hasn't gotten a single bite. The other man, just about a dozen feet away, had been on the lake for about half an hour, and he already had almost a bucket-full. This disturbed the other man greatly, so he walked over to him and asked him, "Excuse me, sir, but I'd been out 'ere fer a mighty long time and I ain't caught nuthin'. How do you catch all them fish?" The other man looked at him and said, "Mummmummhummmummhummh." "What did you say?" "Mummhummmummhummmumnmunhumm," mumbled the busy fisherman. "Sir, you got a speech impediment? I can't hear a darn word yer saying!" The fisherman pointed his finger up, indicating to wait a minute. He pulled and reeled in his line , and he caught another fish. "OK, darn it. Either tell me now or else," said the angry 'amateur'. As the 'expert' removed the fish from the hook, he looked at the unfortuate man standing beside him. He put the fishing pole down and took a large wad of something out of his mouth. "You have the keep the worms warm," he answered

A drunk got on the bus. He reeled down the aisle and flopped down by a very prim lady. She said,"You know you're headed straight for hell?"With a start the drunk screamed, "My God, I'm on the wrong bus!"

Preacher to young groom, "It's ..I do.. young man , not ..whatever!"