The Ashtons house.
Alexis and Ned are laying in bed, staring at each other. Hannah is asleep on Ned�s chest.
Alexis: (in a whisper) �How could you have invited them for dinner? I thought that today was going to be a family event.�
Ned: �They are our family.�
Alexis: (hissing) �Ned! I can not think of a worse way to spend Thanksgiving than with Alan, Monica, Edward, Lila, Carly, AJ and Michael.� She smiles. �Well, I love Lila and Monica, but the rest of your family is...�
Ned: �Maniacs?� he softly strokes her hair. �Aw, Lexi, I didn�t have the heart to tell Grandmother that we weren�t coming.�
Alexis: �So they�re coming here?�
Ned: �You were the one who wanted to have dinner at home.�
Just then, Hannah wakes up. She whimpers as she looks around, but then smiles when she sees her parents. She crawls up Ned�s chest to grab his lip.
Alexis: (smiling at her) �Happy Thanksgiving, Hannah. I hope that therapy will help you recover from these wounds someday.�
Ned laughs. Alexis doesn�t.
Alexis: (seriously) �I just don�t want you and AJ getting into a fight, or your grandfather and Stefan, or Alan and everyone...� she trails off, looking pensive.
Ned: (softly) �Alexis, I will not let them ruin Thanksgiving for us and our kids.�
Alexis: �And why are AJ and Carly coming? They can�t stand you.�
Ned: (in a singsong voice) �Because they are part of the Quartermaine family too.�
Alexis: �But we aren�t, technically Our last name is ASHTON and for that reason, we should be able to spend Thanksgiving alone. You remember last year. Avery barely recovered from Michael throwing those mashed potatoes at her.�
Ned: (laughing) �Like father, like son.� He pulls Hannah into a standing position so she is standing on his stomach. �Or, in your case, Miss Hannah, like mommy, like daughter.� He tickles her a little. She squeals. �But Hannah, promise me that when you grow up, you won�t be nearly as stubborn and sneaky as Mommy. Okay?�
Hannah gurgles in agreement as Alexis glares playfully at Ned.
Just then, the door opens and Avery and Brooke come running in, wearing their pajamas.
Avery: �When is the parade on?�
Alexis: �You�re up at seven o�clock on vacation?�
Brooke: (sheepishly) �We forgot that there isn�t school today. Can sit on the bed?�
Ned: �By all means. You don�t have to ask.�
As Avery and Brooke climb onto the bed, Avery looks worriedly at her parents.
Avery: �Why are they coming for dinner?�
Alexis: �Who?�
Avery: �Daddy�s family.� She sneers. �And that boy, Michael.�
Ned: (laughing) �That boy Michael is your cousin.�
Avery: �I don�t like him. He threw mashed potatoes at me and Daddy doesn�t like his daddy.�
Ned: �You mean AJ?� he laughs. �Nah, we get a kick out of beating on each other.�
Brooke: (who has been silent the entire time) �What�s wrong with Michael? Who is he?�
Alexis: �You know your cousin AJ?� Brooke nods. �He got married to a woman named Carly and they have a four year old son named Michael.�
Brooke: �Avery, why don�t you like him?�
Avery: �You�ll see.� She looks at Ned. �So who is everyone who is coming?�
Ned: �Well, all of us, Aunt Julia and Uncle Jax, Uncle Stefan, Aunt Mackenzie and Christabel, Nikolas and Emily, Aunt Monica, Uncle Alan, Grandfather and Grandmother, AJ, Carly and Michael .�
Brooke: (bewildered) �All of those people? For dinner? Here?�
Alexis: �Unfortunately, yes.�
Ned: (handing Hannah to Alexis) �Yes, Brooke.� He grins. �And Mommy is having a little trouble dealing with that.�
Avery: �It will be fun, Mommy! This year, Brooke can help me gang up on Michael!�
Avery and Brooke give each other a high five. Ned and Alexis start laughing.
That afternoon.
Kimberly: (on the phone) �Claire, I think that you should come.�
Claire: �Kim, Thanksgiving is a family time. You�re going to be with your husband and kids, and in-laws. You don�t need me.� she laughs. �Besides, I was planning on going to the Port Charles Hotel for dinner.�
Kimberly: �You will do no such thing.�
Claire: �Kimberly...�
Kimberly: (mocking her) �Claire...�
Claire: �Kim, I�m serious here.�
Kimberly: �So am I. Dinner is at six, so be here about five.�
Claire: (sighing in defeat) �Fine. Is there anything I should bring?�
Kimberly: (laughing) �Just your smiling face.�
Claire: (laughing dispite herself) �Fine. I�ll see you then.� She pauses. �And Kim? Thanks.�
Kimberly: �No problem. Bye.�
Claire hangs the phone up and stares out the window for a few minutes. It is raining.
Claire: (aloud) �I have to do this.� She picks up the phone again and dials a number.
Voice: (with a French accent) �Bon soir, Augustine Acadamy.�
Claire: �Bonjour. Je voudrais parler avec une etudiant, Lillian Estrada.�
Voice: �Qui-est toi?�
Claire: (getting mad) �Je suis sa mere!�
Voice: �Just un minute, s�il vous plait.� She pushes a button to connect the phone to the room.
A few minutes later, a young voice comes through the phone.
Lily: �Hello?�
Claire: �Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetheart.�
Lily: �Mommy! You called!�
Claire: �Don�t I always?�
Lily: �Mommy, I miss you so much! I wish I could come see you for Christmas.�
Claire: (sadly) �Me too, Lily Rose. I miss you so much. I�m living in New York now.�
Lily: (impressed) �Wow! Have you seen the Statue of Liberty?�
Claire: �I live in upstate New York. It�s a town called Port Charles.�
Lily: �I wish I could come live with you. Why can�t I?�
Claire: (her heart breaking) �Lily, we�ve been over this a thousand times. Your father has permanent custody of you, and he is responsible for you being stuck at that boarding school.� She sighs. �If it were up to me, you would be here with me right now.�
Lily: �Well... we were talking... me and my friend Sarah... and her parents are divorced too, and her mom wouldn�t let her dad see her, so her dad took her mom to court. Why don�t you do that with Daddy so you can see me?�
Claire: �How did you get so smart, Lillian Rose Estrada? When I was nine, we were still playing hide and seek in the dorms, not talking about divorce and custody.�
Lily: �Mom, please? Please talk to Daddy?�
Claire: �Lily, I don�t know...�
Lily: (in a soft voice) �It�s the only thing I want for Christmas.�
Claire: (tears falling down her cheeks) �Lily, I want to be with you more than anything, but the courts say no. But I promise you that I will talk to my old friend Kimberly who lives here about representing me in a custody case. She�s a lawyer.�
Lily: �Yay!�
Claire: �But don�t get your hopes up.�
Lily: �Mom, I haven�t seen you for a year. I want to be with you for Christmas.�
Claire: �Lily, I will try my hardest to get you here for Christmas. I swear.�
Voice on the loudspeaker: �Les Filles, Allez au le salon pour le diner, mainteant.�
Lily: �Mom, I have to go. They�re about to serve dinner.�
Claire: (laughing) �Lily, I speak French. I know what they�re saying.�
Lily: �I love you.�
Claire: �I love you too. Never forget that.�
Lily: �Don�t forget about your promise. Bye.�
Claire: �I won�t. Bye.� She hangs up the phone and wipes away her tears. �I will do WHATEVER it takes to get you back, Lily.�
Mid-afternoon. The penthouse.
Julia is sitting at the base of the stairs, eating a bowl of ice cream.
Jax: (coming through the door) �This is interesting.� He laughs. �Ice cream at two thirty in the on Thanksgiving?�
Julia: (defensively) �It settles my stomach.�
Jax: (teasingly) �Sure it does.� He goes over to her and crouching down, kisses her lips and then her stomach. �And how is our son or daughter today?�
Julia: (ruffling his hair) �Just fine.� She smiles. �Jax, don�t you think that we should find out if it�s a boy or a girl?�
Jax: �I thought you wanted to be surprised.�
Julia: (her eyes wide) �No way! I want to know what we�re having.� She smiles. �That is, if you feel the same way.�
Jax: (kissing her again) �I want to know too.� He smiles. �I love you, Julia.�
Julia: �I love you too, Jax.�
Jax: �And with that said, are you ready to endure an evening of torture a la Ashton?�
Julia: �Jax! Ned and Alexis are our best friends!�
Jax: �That is so not the point.� He laughs. �You�ve never been to dinner with the Quartermaines and Cassadines in one room?� he snorts. �It�s better than comedy central.�
Julia: �Is that so?� she pouts. �Than it�s really too bad that I can�t numb the mental anguish with alcohol.�
Jax: �I know. Too bad for you. I, however, will be going straight for the vodka.�
Julia: �Jax! I thought that you were with me on this little pregnancy food and drink plan.�
Jax: �I would usually, but...� he laughs again. �You�re on your own today, Sweetie.�
Laughing, they stand up and head upstairs to their bedroom to get ready for dinner.
Four thirty p.m.
The doorbell rings at the Ashtons� house.
Ned and Alexis look at each other. Alexis sighs.
Ned: �I guess that we have to answer it, don�t we?�
Alexis: �There�s still time to make it out the back door and run as far as we can.� She smiles suggestively. �How about Thanksgiving in Bali?�
Ned: �I wish.� He smiles. �But we have to let them in.�
Voice outside: (banging on the door) �Ned! Let us in!�
Laughing, Ned goes over to the door and opens it. Standing on the doorstep is the entire Quartermaine family. Edward has his hand poised to knock again.
Ned: (in a dry voice) �Welcome to our home.�
Edward: �What took you so long to open the door?�
Avery: (running into the room) �Is that Uncle Jax and Aunt Julia?� she stops as she sees the Quartermaines filing into the living room. �Oh.�
Brooke: (looking around) �This is going to be an interesting night.�
Alexis: (to Brooke) �You can say that again.�
Avery: (running to Monica) �Aunt Monica!� she wraps her arms around her legs. �I�m going to be a mouse in the Nutcracker!�
Monica: (lifting her up) �I heard that. I�m going to come watch you.�
Avery: �How come you don�t come over to play anymore?�
Monica: �Sorry, Sweetie, I haven�t had time. But I will come play tea party with you sometime soon.�
Ned: (putting his arm around Brooke) �Brooke, you know your Aunt Monica, Uncle Alan, Grandmother, Grandfather, and your cousins, AJ, Carly and Michael.�
Brooke: �Hi.�
Edward: �Well, Brooke, you�re turning into quite a little lady. Are you a ballerina too?�
Brooke: (proudly) �Nope. I�m the highest point scorer on the Port Charles Lancers soccer team.� She grins. �I�m better than all of the boys.�
Edward: (to Ned and Alexis) �You let your daughter play soccer? With boys? That could cause severe psychological problems later on in life.�
Lila: �Edward, can it.� She motions to Brooke. �Brooke, come tell me all about your soccer team.�
Brooke grins and goes over to sit by Lila.
Ned: (in a low voice, to Alexis) �And so the games begin.�
Alexis: (putting her arm around his waist) �If we survive, we�ll celebrate later.� She smiles at him. �For long hours into the night.�
Ned: �Sounds good to me.�
Just then, Hannah starts crying on the baby monitor.
Alexis: (eager to escape) �I�ll go get her.� She practically runs from the room.
AJ: (to Ned) �So, Ned. This is an interesting little house.�
Ned: �Little? I would hardly call it little. And besides, it�s better than living with my parents and grandparents.�
AJ: �Carly and I enjoy being around the family. How long have you been living here again?�
Ned: �A year and a half.� He grins. �And I wonder why this is only the first time you�ve been invited over here, Junior.�
AJ: �You know what you can do with your comments...�
Carly: �AJ. Not in front of Michael.�
Michael: (running over) �Daddy, that girl stuck her tongue out at me.� he points at Avery, who Monica is still holding.
AJ and Ned look over at Avery. She grins innocently. Ned winks at her.
Just then, the door opens and Jax and Julia walk into the house.
Edward: �What? You don�t knock?�
Alexis: (coming down the stairs with Hannah) �They�ve earned it. They practically live here.� She smiles at Jax and Julia. �Glad you guys could make it.�
Jax: (walking over to her) �Hi, Lex and hello there, Hannah.� He smiles at her. �Lex, can I hold her?�
Alexis: �Of course.� She hands the baby to Jax. �You need all the practice you can get.�
Ned: (kissing Julia on the cheek) �You look radiant.�
Julia: �I feel so... so content.�
Alexis: �It only gets better.� She smiles. �Except for the morning sickness, swelled ankles and weight gain.�
Julia: (apologetically, to Jax) �Sorry, honey. I swear, I will be sexy again someday.�
Ned: (putting his arms around Alexis� waist) �Oh please. Julia, you are still going to be a knockout when you�re eight months pregnant.� He smiles. �Alexis was sexier than I�ve ever seen her, walking around the house moaning about how fat she was.�
Alexis: �Ned! I was not sexy in any way, shape or form.�
Ned: (ignoring her) �Jax, let me be the first to tell you that there is nothing sexier than the naked body of a pregnant woman. I got turned on seeing Lex�s expanded stomach.�
Alexis: �Physically ill is more like it.�
Ned: (kissing her neck) �Alexis Brinna, you were a knockout and you always have been and you always will be.�
Alexis: �Even when I�m eighty and I�m gumming prunes and watching soap operas all day with my hearing aid turned up, knitting sweaters for our cats?�
Ned: (laughing hysterically) �Even then.�
The four of them start laughing as the doorbell rings again and Edward answers it.
Standing on the doorstep is Stefan, Mackenzie and Christabel.
Edward: (in a tight voice) �Hello, Cassadine.�
Stefan: (in the same voice) �Edward.�
They walk into the house and over to Alexis, Ned, Julia and Jax.
Alexis: (giving Stefan a hug) �I�m glad you came.�
Julia: (hugging Mackenzie) �How was Venice?�
Mackenzie: �Wonderful.� She smiles. �It was beautiful. Well, at least what we saw out the window of the office buildings we were in all day.�
Ned: (picking Christabel up and tossing her into the air) �Hey, Shortie.�
Christabel: �Uncle Ned! I haven�t been here forever!�
Ned: �Sorry. Maybe your daddy will let you come spend the night next week.�
Christabel: �Yeah!� Ned sets her down on the floor. �Where are Avery and Brooke?�
Ned and Alexis look around the room. Their daughters have disappeared.
They can hear laughing upstairs.
Ned: �Christabel, I think they�re upstairs. Can you go get them and tell them that they have to play down here?�
Christabel: �Sure.� She runs off.
Alexis: (catching sight of Mackenzie�s wedding ring) �Wow, Mackenzie, that is some ring. Where did you get it?�
Mackenzie and Stefan exchange a glance.
Mackenzie: �I bought it in Venice.�
Alexis: (taking her hand to look at it closely) �It must have cost you a fortune.�
Mackenzie gives Stefan a mock glare. Stefan shrugs and then smiles.
Just then, Avery, Brooke and Christabel come down the stairs.
Ned: �Avery, Brooke, you guys have to include Michael.�
Avery: �I don�t want to.�
Alexis: �You don�t have a choice. Now go be nice to him.�
Sighing, the three girls walk across the room to Michael, who is sitting on the couch, playing with silly putty.
Brooke: �Hi.�
Michael: (cautiously) �Hi. Who are you?�
Brooke: �Your cousin. I�m Avery�s sister.�
Avery: �So you have to be nice to her... and Christabel too. She�s our cousin.�
Michael: �You�re girls.�
Brooke: (rolling her eyes) �You�re pretty smart.�
Michael: �I don�t like girls.� He gets up and walks over to AJ and Carly. �Daddy, Mommy, those girls were talking to me.�
Carly: �Michael, they�re just trying to be nice.�
Michael: �Do I have to talk to them?�
Carly: �Yes.� She gives Michael a gentle shove in their direction. �Go be nice.�
Michael glowers at the girls as he walks back to them.
Avery: �We have Nintendo 64. Wanna play?�
Michael: �I�m the best at Mario Cart.�
Brooke: �No, I am.�
The four kids run off to the upstairs playroom to get a game going.
Alan: (approaching the group) �Hi, I�m Alan Quartermaine. I haven�t seen you around. Are you folks new in town?�
Ned: (rolling his eyes) �Alan!�
Alan: (suspiciously) �How do you know my name?�
Ned: (flatly) �You�re my uncle.�
Alan: �I am not! Monica is!�
Across the room, Monica looks up and gives Alan a death glare. He gives her a big grin and then saunters off.
Forty-five minutes later.
The Ashtons, Quartermaines, Cassadines and Jacks families are seated around the table.
Ned: �Dear Lord, thank you for blessing us with this food, and for the company that we are with tonight. Keep us all in good health through the holidays and may we all have a wonderful Christmas season. Amen.�
Everyone: �Amen.�
As everyone begins eating, Brooke pipes up.
Brooke: �Isn�t everyone going to say what they�re thankful for? We did that at my other mommy�s house every year.�
Alexis and Ned exchange a look and then shrug.
Ned: �Okay... Brooke, you kids can start.�
Brooke: �Okay. I�m thankful for my family, and for my soccer team.�
Avery: �I�m thankful for my mommy, daddy and sisters, and the Spice Girls.�
Christabel: �I�m thankful for my daddy, Mackenzie and my brother Nikolas.�
Michael: (looking at the girls) �I�m thankful that I�m an only child.�
AJ and Carly glare at him. Ned and Alexis start laughing into their hands.
Edward: �I�m thankful for my lovely wife Lila, my children, and my grandchildren.�
Lila: �I�m thankful for the opportunity to share this holiday with my blessed family.�
Monica: �I�m thankful for my health, and my family and friends.�
Alan: �I�m thankful for my best buddy Bob being here tonight.�
Everyone glares at him, aware that there is no such person there.
AJ: �I�m thankful for my wife and son.�
Carly: �I�m thankful to be a part of the Quartermaine family.�
Ned rolls his eyes at Alexis, who smiles amusedly.
Emily: �I�m thankful for my family and for being able to be here tonight.�
Nikolas: �I�m thankful for my father, my little sisters, my aunt and uncle, Emily, and Mackenzie.�
Julia: �I�m thankful for my wonderful fiance, Jax, and our unborn child.�
Jax: �I�m thankful for my friends, my fiancee, Julia, and our baby.�
Alexis: (smiling at Ned) �I�m so thankful for my three daughters, and my husband.�
Ned: �I�m thankful for Alexis, my beautiful wife, and our three perfect daughters, Avery, Brooke and Hannah.�
Alexis and Ned smile at Hannah, who is smearing mashed potatoes all over her face.
Jax: �I think that Hannah is thankful for those mashed potatoes she is wearing.�
Everyone laughs.
Edward: �So, who cooked this turkey?�
Ned: �Alexis and I did. Why?�
Edward: �I was just thinking that this is the first Thanksgiving that I�ve had turkey in... I can�t even remember.�
Monica: �But that was really good pizza last year.�
Emily: �And the year before.�
Lila: �And the Chinese food the year before.�
AJ: �And the year before.�
They all start laughing.
Ned: �I guess that you have to be a partial Quartermaine to be able to cook a turkey.�
Edward: �Meaning?�
Brooke: �Our last name is Ashton.�
Ned and Alexis start laughing. Ned casually rests his hand on her thigh. She smiles.
Julia: �I wonder how Kimberly and Scott�s Thanksgiving is going.�
Meanwhile. The firehouse.
Kimberly, Scott, Serena, Olivia, Claire, Karen, Joe, Gail and Lee are seated around the dining room table eating dinner.
Kimberly: (angrily) �Scott, how could you have burned the turkey?�
Scott: (bitterly) �It was not my fault, Kimberly. You set the timer wrong.�
Kimberly: �I did not!�
Karen: (interrupting them) �It doesn�t matter, you guys. This is a really good dinner.�
Scott: �Pizza?�
Karen: �Pizza, mashed potatoes and yams. It�s better than some of the other Thanksgiving dinners I�ve had.�
Serena: �Do you like it, Claire?�
Claire: (setting down her slice of pepperoni pizza) �It�s unusual, but not altogether bad.�
Gail: �So, Claire, you work at Wyndhams?�
Claire: �Yes.� She takes a sip of wine. �I�m a buyer.�
Karen: �I love that store!�
Claire: �Well, Karen, next time you�re there, come up and see me.�
Karen: �Will do.�
Kimberly: (feeding Olivia a spoonful of mashed carrots) �So, Lee, how is your practice going?�
Lee: �Very well. I�m handling a suit for Hewitt Industries in Rochester.�
Scott: �How did you get that case?�
Lee: �An old friend hired me.� he smiles. �Besides, all of the cases in Port Charles are being snapped up by Ashton, Cisnaros and Baldwin Associates.�
They all start laughing. Kimberly and Scott shrug innocently.
Kimberly: (mouthing to Scott) �I�m sorry.�
Scott: (mouthing back) �I�m sorry too.� They smile at each other.
Serena: (staring at Claire) �You know what?�
Claire: �What?�
Serena: �You�re very pretty.� She smiles innocently.
Claire: (surprised) �Thank you, Serena. You�re pretty too.� She smiles to herself.
The Ashtons� House.
The adults are drinking wine (except Julia) and eating pumpkin pie when Avery comes running in from the living room.
She is covered in whipped cream.
Avery: �Daddy! Michael hit me with whipped cream!�
Michael: (running in) �She hit me first!� he is also covered in whipped cream.
Brooke: (coming in) �He hit me too!� whipped cream is smeared all over her.
Christabel: (following her) �I didn�t even do anything and he hit me!� she sneers at Michael. �And so did Avery.� She has whipped cream on her face, hair and dress.
Avery: �Sorry, Christabel. That was an accident.�
Christabel: �I know. You were trying to hit THAT boy.� She glares at Michael. �You should have just punched him.�
Mackenzie starts laughing. Stefan just shakes his head.
AJ: �Ned, can�t you control your daughter?�
Ned: �Me? Junior, it was your son that provoked her!�
Carly: (yelling) �My son would never do that! You�re so stupid, Ned!�
Alexis: (mad) �Don�t call my husband stupid, you little snot.�
Carly: �Snot? Snot? AJ, she called me a snot!�
AJ: �Just ignore Mrs. Ashton number five. Her sex drive keeps her from thinking coherently. You remember her and Ned at the Nurses Ball falling onto the stage.�
Monica: �AJ! You are out of line!�
AJ: �Yeah, Mom, go ahead and defend Ned! After all, you did SLEEP with him!�
Alan: �She did?�
Edward: �Alan, you knew that!�
Alan: �Oh yeah, I forgot.� He smiles. �My wife, the slut.�
Ned: (yelling) �Junior, take your hoebag wife and your snotty little child and go home!�
AJ: �Make me!�
Edward: �Boys, you should knock it off.� He laughs. �But this is so much fun.�
Alexis: (to Ned) �I knew that this would happen.�
Ned: (yelling so everyone can hear him) �I would like to apologize to my wife.� Everyone stops talking. �She warned me to not invite my family. Alexis, I�m sorry I didn�t listen to you.�
Alexis: �No, Monica, Lila and Emily are always welcome here.� She sneers at AJ.
Julia: (to Jax) �Now I see what you meant.�
Jax: (taking a sip of wine) �This glass of wine is being consumed in your honor.�
They smile at each other, completely oblivious to the fight that is going on around them.
Avery: (screaming) �HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!�
Brooke: (joining in) �HOPEFULLY, WE WON�T BE HOME NEXT YEAR!�
Ned and Alexis start laughing and pull their daughters into their laps as they listen to the Quartermaines scream at each other.
AJ: �Mom, you always side with Ned!�
Monica: �That�s because he�s usually right!�
Ned: �I second that.� He and Alexis laugh.
Carly: �You two are so tacky!�
Edward: �Really, Ned, you should think twice before getting involved with a Cassadine next time.�
Ned: �There is no NEXT TIME! Alexis and I are married for good!�
Stefan: �Edward, leave my sister out of your pathetic family problems!�
Mackenzie: �Yeah! Ned and Alexis are not to blame for any of this crap! So why don�t you all shut up and go home!�
Everyone turns to stare at her. Stefan, Ned, Alexis, Julia and Jax laugh. The Quartermaines look shocked.
Alan: �Who are you again?�
Mackenzie: (standing up) �GET OUT NOW! ALL QUARTERMAINES LEAVE!�
Alexis and Ned watch in amazement as the Quartermaines stand up and leave.
Lila: (on the way out) �I am so sorry, Ned and Alexis.�
Ned: �It�s alright, Grandmother. We�re used to it.�
As the front door slams, everyone left at the table turns to stare at Mackenzie, who is calmly sipping a glass of wine.
Ned: �Wow, Mackenzie. We could have used you at family dinners a long time ago.�
Mackenzie: �Glad to be of help.� She smiles. �It was fun.� She raises her wine glass. �To us. The only sane people left in Port Charles.�
Everyone: (raising their glasses) �To us.�
They all start laughing and go back to eating their pie.